Leave Out All The Rest
by Emmy1512
Summary: Bella falls pregnant just before her Senior year of high school. Follow her and Edward through the decisions, good and bad. All characters belong to S Meyer. AH/AU
1. Introduction Knowing

**AN- Ok, so here is the intro to "Leave out all the Rest" Read and review, I hope you enjoy it. I would just like to dedicate this opening chapter to meilzdoggg01, my personal idea-bouncing-wall. Everyone should read her stories :-)**

I sat on the toilet lid, holding the ominous little stick in my hand. I could hear Edward pacing in the bedroom just outside the door. I glanced at my watch for the third time. _How could only a minute and a half have passed?!_

I sighed to myself as I thought back to the past couple of hours.

_**Flashback**_

"_**Edward... we need to talk..."**_

_**Worry struck across his face in an instant. The only other time I had said that to him was 3 years ago when I had told him I was being sent to Switzerland for 3 months. I was scared we wouldn't make it through, we'd only been dating for a few months, and we were about to start our freshman year. It was now summer holidays, and we were heading into our senior year.**_

"_**Bella...I love you..."**_

"_**Calm Edward, I'm not leaving you."**_

"_**Ok... so... what's up beautiful?"**_

"_**Um... oh god this is hard..."**_

_**Edward walked to me, and took my face between his hands.**_

"_**Bella, what is it?"**_

"_**Just promise not to get mad ok?"**_

"_**Bella, when have I ever been mad at you?"**_

"_**Uh, last week, when I slipped into the water down at La Push"**_

"_**I wasn't mad at you! I was mad at myself! I should've been more careful, I should've caught you!"**_

"_**Edward, we're off topic..."**_

"_**Ok... go on then..."**_

"_**I'm late..."**_

"_**Late for what?" He looked like he knew but he was begging me to give him a different answer. Tell him I had to be somewhere 5 minutes ago. Anything.**_

"_**My period Edward... I'm late for my period..."**_

"_**How late?"**_

"_**Um... I don't remember having one a month ago... so... a month, one week, and 5 days?"**_

"_**A MONTH! Bella, how could you not tell me earlier?"**_

"_**You promised you wouldn't be mad!"**_

_**Edward sighed and turned away.**_

"_**I'm not mad Bella... I'm just...trying to figure out why you've left it so long to tell me..."**_

"_**I...kind of didn't realise I didn't have my period last month..."**_

"_**How can you not notice something like that? It's kind of big..."**_

"_**Well, I was busy with exams, and I didn't even think about it."**_

"_**Ok... so... what now?"**_

_**I tried to think of what we were meant to be doing now, but nothing came to mind.**_

"_**I don't know..."**_

"_**Ok. Well first of all we should probably get a test. You haven't done one already have you?"**_

"_**No. I wanted to wait for you. I couldn't do it alone."**_

"_**Ok, well, I'll go to the drug store and I'll be back in 15 minutes."**_

_**End Flashback**_

I thought that telling him would be the hardest part of all of this, but the worst part is waiting for the 5 minutes to pass before I could know the result.

I glanced at my watch again. 30 more seconds until I could look.

I closed my eyes, and started breathing, counting the seconds.

19, 20, 21...

Even the seconds were dragging.

27, 28, 29...

30.

_Open your eyes Bella... Just look at it._

I fought with myself; I could just leave it and get Edward to look at it. But that would be even worse. I exhaled, and looked down at the stick.

"Oh fuck..." I managed to whisper as I saw the small smiley face looking up at me.

I felt my world start to sway, and everything started to go fuzzy. I could hear my breathing but nothing else.

"Bella! Bella wake up!"

I groaned as my eyes fluttered open. It took me a moment to register the cold tiles underneath my back, and warm fingers pressing lightly on my throat.

"Edward?" I choked out.

"Oh god Bella, don't do that again."

"Edward..."

"I know Bella. I know..."

"What do we... what happens now?"

"Now you decide what you want to do, because I will be here no matter what. Although I do have my preference, it's your choice."

**AN- Ok, I know it's short, BUT, this was just an intro, the next chapter will me MUCH longer. I hope you liked it, and remember, REVIEW.**

**Peace out.**


	2. Where to from here?

**AN – Here is the second chapter. I just wanted to send out a massive THANK YOU to people who reviewed last chapter, I wasn't expecting reviews that quickly, but within minutes of posting people were reviewing. It makes me so happy to read reviews, and I always try to reply to them.**

**Again, just a shout out to meilzdoggg01, who let me constantly bug her with how many words I had so far. This chapter is dedicated to you babes! Everyone, go read her stuff! She is pure awesome.**

**Previously:**

"**Now you decide what you want to do, because I will be here no matter what. Although I do have my preference, it's your choice."**

Continued:

**Bella's POV**

I stood under the stream of the shower, trying to let everything sink in. I tried telling myself over and over again.

Whispering "I'm pregnant" again and again. Slowly, it sunk in, but I still didn't know what I wanted to do. I have my life planned out; everything was going to be exactly how I pictured it. But now... now everything would change, no matter what I decided.

I sat on the shower floor, letting the water hit my back, inhaling the steam. This had been my place and time to think for about a year and a half now, and Edward had always respected that, and would never interrupt. He used to occasionally, but only because he worried that I had slipped and hit my head.

I stood up again, managing to hit my head on the soap dish screwed to the wall.

"Fuck" I muttered, rubbing the spot I had hit. After I had recovered from the shock, it really didn't hurt that much. I turned, and turned the faucets so that the water turned slowly from hot to cold, and then I shut of the cold water too. It was how I always ended my showers, the quick burst of cold water brought me back to the present moment.

I stepped out of the shower and slowly dabbed my body dried and squeezed the excess water from my hair. I pulled out my hair dryer, and switched it on. I stood there for a few minutes, not drying my hair completely, just enough that it didn't soak through my clothes.

I examined my body in the full length mirror and touched the small bump on my stomach cringing. It was amazing how quickly it was all happening. 2 months pregnant, and you could already see the evidence.

I slipped into my sweat pants, and a tight tank top. I had never worried about looking fantastic in front of Edward, but today, for some reason, I was nervous about how he would react when he noticed the small, but evident, changes that were happening.

I walked slowly into my room to see Edward sitting on my bed, one leg tucked beneath him, the other daggling over the side. I still can't believe that this greek god impersonation wanted to be with me. I doubt that I could ever believe it. But he was, he IS. Edward Cullen, the sexiest, most sort after man at school, had been my boyfriend since my days of awkward braces. He had seen something that other boys hadn't, although I'm still not sure what that had been.

I followed Edward's gaze at it swept over my body, and then did a double take, and fixed on my stomach. My hand automatically flew to my stomach.

_Oh god, is it ugly? It probably is._

"Is it that bad?" I asked, not entirely wanting to hear the answer.

"No, Bella." Edward stood up and walked toward me, graceful as always. He pulled me into the tight protective hug that he had protected from the first day that we met. He stroked my hair softly. "It's absolutely amazing, and beautiful."

I heard the sincerity in his hope, but he also conveyed something that I'm not sure he had meant to. I heard love, and hope, in his voice. It dawned on me then what he had meant when he said he had his preferences. When he said it, I thought he meant he wanted me to have an abortion. Now as I listened to him talk like this, I realised he wanted to me to keep it.

_He wants this?_

"Yes. Bella, I want to keep this child."

My heart leapt, and I realised in that moment that I wanted this too. There is no way in the world I could give up my baby. The plans Edward and I had made could still happen, they didn't have to happen in the order we had set them out though. My grandfather's words echoed through my mind "_Everything happens for a reason Isabella"_. He had said that to me whilst lying in a hospital bed, knowing his last days were coming, and he accepted that. I wasn't losing my life, I had the honour of bringing one into this world.

"We'd better figure out how we're going to tell our parents that we're having a baby then." I said, trying to not to grin, but failing.

Edward's breath faltered for a moment, before he grinned down at me.

"Does that mean you want to keep it too?" He touched the side of my face, and I leant into his hand.

"I want to have your child Edward. Whether that was in 3 years time or now... It didn't matter to me..."

I know there was a point in my life that I would've thought it mattered, but now, the timing didn't matter. All that matters now is that I'm carrying Edward's child.

"I love you so much Bella"

"I love you too Edward... I always will."

I was so happy that I started to cry. I could feel the tears staining my cheeks but it didn't bother me. I was smiling up at Edward, and he loved me.

**Edward's POV**

Sitting here waiting for Bella to finish showering was making me anxious. She was carrying my child, and I didn't know if she wanted to keep it or not. I would understand if she didn't, but to me, this is the best thing that could have happened. It would be hard, and it would be the scariest thing that I've ever had to go through. But I know that Bella is the person I want to, and will, be with for the rest of my life. We were going to start a family after college, so this is only our plans accelerated.

I heard the water switch off, and sat up on her bed. I could hear her doing something in the bathroom, it sounded like a hair dryer.

After a few minutes, she walked out into her bedroom again, and gave me a small smile. She looked absolutely gorgeous, in a pair of sweat pant and a tank top. She looked like she was ready for bed, even though it was only 4pm.

That was when I realised, had I been more observant, I would've seen this coming. Through the tight fabric of her top, you could see the slightest bulge of her abdomen, which, while only tiny, was a distinct change from her normally perfectly flat stomach.

Bella's hand went to her stomach, and I looked up at her face to realise she'd caught me staring.

"Is it that bad?"

That caught me off-guard slightly. How could she possibly think it looked bad?

"No, Bella." I stood up and walked over to her, pulling her softly against my chest, stroking her hair with my fingers. "It's absolutely amazing, and beautiful."

"You want to keep it don't you?" She looked up at me. Her eyes were a beautiful brown. I could gaze into them forever. An image ran across my mind for a fleeting second; a tiny child, being held by Bella, with Bella's brown eyes looking back up at her. Yes, this is what I wanted.

"Yes. Bella, I want to keep this child." I whispered into her ear, hoping to god that she would want the same.

"We'd better figure out how we're going to tell our parents that we're having a baby then." I caught a hint of a smile in her voice.

I grinned down at her.

"Does that mean you want to keep it too?" I touched the side of her face.

"I want to have your child Edward. Whether that was in 3 years time or now... It didn't matter to me..."

"I love you so much Bella"

I felt as though my heart was flying. I was going to be a father. Bella, the love of my life, the reason for my continued existence, was giving me a child. I couldn't imagine a happier feeling.

"I love you too Edward... I always will."

Tears were running down her cheeks, but I could tell by the smile on her lips, and the sparkle in her eyes, that she was happy.

I lifted her into my arms, and carried her to the bed.

"So, can I get you anything? You're going to have to look after yourself now. No slipping and falling. Definitely no cliff-diving"

The memory of 2 years ago, when we had had our first fight, and Bella had gone cliff-diving out at La Push, was still ingrained on my mind. I would never forget the terror that I felt when I saw her jumping off. I had gone to talk to her, and I knew that she used to stand at the top of that cliff to think. When I saw her run to the edge, I thought she was committing suicide. I jumped in the water after her, and dragged her to the surface.

Bella explained to me later that night, once she was discharged from hospital, that she was cliff-diving, not taking her own life. She merely hadn't anticipated how strong the current was.

She looked up at me and grimaced.

"I would never do that again. The pain it caused you...I can't live through that...seeing you in pain."

I looked down at her, gazing into her eyes until I could see that she knew I was only saying that in jest and that I knew she would never do something that stupid again.

"So, you didn't answer me. Do you need anything?"

"I'm fine Edward. You don't have to look after me though, you know that right? I'm only 2 months pregnant. I'm not an invalid."

"Well too bad, because I will be looking after you, and there's nothing you can do about it. I'm going to go make you a cup of peppermint tea. I'll be right back. Promise me you won't get up? When I come back we can talk about how to tell our parents."

It was my turn to grimace slightly. It wasn't that they would be angry. In fact Esme, my mother, would be over the moon. Carlisle would take it as his responsibility to take care of the antenatal aspect of it. No, it was more Bella's reaction to having to tell her parents.

Again, they wouldn't be angry, only disappointed. But to Bella, disappointing her parents was far worse than any angry she could ever bring out in them.

**AN- OK, there it is. I hope you liked the second chapter, and please remember, reviews make for happy, fast updating authors :-)**


	3. Telling and Hospitals

**AN- HEY ALL!!!!! OOOOH CAPSLOCK!!!!**

**Ok, so, I just wanted to say, check out .'s fic "Sewing the Wounds" great fic – love it**

**And, CHECK OUT MEILZDOGGG01 OR I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND HURT YOU – ok...so maybe not hurt you, but I'll send some awesome angry vibes your way :P**

**Anyhow, thank you to all who reviewed, and keep up your awesome reviews, BECAUSE I LOVE THEM!!!!**

* * *

Edward and I spent the next few days organising telling his parents, we'd do that first, because that was bound to be the easier of the two. When the day rolled around all too soon however, I had never felt less ready to do this. As we stood in his bedroom about to head down to the lounge room to talk to Esme and Carlisle, I placed my hand on my slightly swollen belly, tracing my fingers over it, and Edward wrapped his arms around my waist from behind, and placed his hands over mine. He kissed my hair, and whispered "it will be fine, I promise". I gave a weak smile, even though I knew he couldn't see it from where he was standing. I went to walk out the door before he took my hand, swinging me around as gracefully as I could be.

"Just one more thing Bella..." I looked up at his face to see him smiling genuinely, apprehension about facing his parents barely registering in his eyes "I love you".

I grinned, and stood on my tip toes to kiss him tenderly. He always knew how to calm me and make me feel better.

"I love you too Edward" I took a dramatic breath before adding "come on, let's get this over with"

We walked out of his room, and down the flight of stairs to the 2nd floor of his 3 story mansion. In the large lounge room sat Edward's beautiful mother, and handsome father. With parents like these, it was only fitting that he and his 2 brothers were the hottest and most sought after men at school.

Esme and Carlisle smiled warmly at us when we entered. Carlisle was reading the latest copy of a medical journal in which he was published, and Esme was drawing up some designs for the interior decoration company that she works for.

"Hi Edward sweetheart"

"Hi mom. Dad. Er, we were wondering if we could talk to you."

I could hear Edward start to get nervous as he said this, because he very rarely hesitated or used words like "er" and "um". He was usually a very confident speaker, and very articulate.

Carlisle placed his journal on the desk next to the couch and motioned for us to have a seat on the couch opposite them while Esme placed her pencil and sketch pad on the floor next to the couch.

"What can we help you with?"

Edward looked at me and took my hand. Esme smiled at this, she like the rare displays of affection between us.

"Well, Bella and I have something we need to tell you."

"Go on..." Carlisle was started to narrow his eyes in apprehension and suspicion, wherever Esme looked like she was running through the possibilities of what we were about to say in her head.

"Ok...Bella's pregnant." _That was blunt..._

Silence.

We sat there staring at each other for a few minutes while Carlisle and Esme tried to process the information they'd just been given.

It was Carlisle who finally broke the uncomfortable silence.

"Well...are you sure?"

"We haven't been to the doctor yet, but the home test was positive, and Bella is a month and a bit late, and..." he glanced at my stomach, a smile forming on his face "she's got a distinct bump on her stomach that...well it's not big, but it's definitely there..."

Carlisle took a deep breath, and pinched the bridge of his nose, a habit that Edward had picked up from him.

"I'll do the blood test today, we'll go down to the hospital. Assuming that's positive, have you given any thought as to wait you want to do?"

"We want to keep it..." I said, murmuring off toward the end of the sentence. Edward smiled at me again, and then looked at Carlisle, who was now looking not angry or upset, but worried.

Carlisle turned to Esme, and took her hand. "Esme, dear. What do you think?"

She looked up at both of us, and smiled broadly.

"I think it's fantastic!"

_Just as we expected._

Carlisle looked at her for a few moments, and then smiled. "Well in that case, we should get you two down to the hospital for those tests"

Edward smiled at me, and I grinned. Carlisle and Esme were a team on everything, and it was obvious to anyone observing this event that Esme was over the moon at the news. She had always loved children, and had always told Edward and his brothers that they'd better give her grandchildren.

~o~o~o~o~

Edward and I sat in the back of Carlisle's Mercedes, while Esme and Carlisle sat in the front. Esme had been talking excitedly about baby things, and things she had from when the boys were born, when she stopped suddenly, and looked back at Edward and me...

"Bella, have you told your parents yet? I know Renee will be a bit difficult to tell because she's in Arizona, but what about Charlie? Does he know?"

I hesitated. In the excitement of Esme being happy about this, I had actually forgotten that I still had to tell my father. I looked down at my hands, which were now balled in my lap.

"No...I haven't yet..."

"Oh..." she looked a bit disappointed and concerned.

"We'll tell him Mom, don't worry. Bella and I will tell him tonight" Edward said, pulling my hands toward him again.

"Yes, yes...that's not what I'm worried about..."

"What are you worried about?"

"Well...what if he doesn't let you keep it?"

"I'm not going to let that happen!" said Edward suddenly and almost angrily. I very rarely heard Edward angry and I flinched slightly. Edward looked over toward me, and apologised.

"It's just that, I'm not going to let anyone take this baby away from us. I love you, and it. We're going to have this, I promise". Someone would've had trouble judging whether Esme or I was radiating more happiness at that moment.

**Edward's POV**

The blood test came back positive, just as we had known it would. Carlisle organised the antenatal care, and he would be our primary physician, however if it came to any big medical decisions, we'd have to consult the OB-GYN, because of conflict of interest.

Carlisle calculated Bella's due date to be the 6th of January. She was 2 months and 14 days pregnant according to Carlisle, and she would need her first ultrasound in a few weeks. He started Bella on a daily dose of Folic Acid, and gave Bella and me a diary to document the experience of the pregnancy in. The first thing I did was take a photo of Bella on my phone while we were at the hospital, and planned to print it and put it on the first page when we got home.

After wrapping up at the hospital, Bella and I walked toward the car while Carlisle and Esme said their goodbyes to the staff, who they were on very good terms with. That said; Carlisle and Esme were on very good terms with everyone in this town.

I pulled Bella close and kissed her deeply when we got the car.

"Have I ever told you how amazingly beautiful and perfect you have?" I said, knowing I had, but wanting to reiterate my point.

"I believe you have once or twice, but feel free to tell me again" she said, smiling up at me.

"You're beautiful..." I kissed her forehead "Amazing" I kissed the tip of her nose "and I wouldn't want anyone else to be the mother of my child" with this I placed a soft, sweet kiss on her lips.

"Thank you Edward and I wouldn't want to have anyone's child but yours. You are the love of my life. I love you, so much."

"And I love you, my Bella"

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**AN- YAY FOR FLUFF!! Ok, reviews my darlings, REVIEWS!! They make me so happy, and update faster! :D**


	4. Shocks and Surprises

**AN – Here is chapter 4. I just wanted to say I'm so fricking sorry it took so long, I really am. It was cos we couldn't get in *angry faces*– PLEASE REVIEW!!**

**Please go see meilzdoggg01's work – she rocks my very awesomely mismatched socks.**

**This chapter is dedicated to hgbkwrm, who gave me my 50th review on this story, in just 3 chapters!! ****Do you think that maybe we can make it to 75 this chapter?? I know I have enough people on alerts! :)**

**This story is for my Charlotte Maree. It is the ending that we never got, and for that I am so sorry.**

**And here it is.**

**Bella's POV**

Carlisle and Esme had kindly agreed to sit in when Edward and I tell my father about the baby, but have said they will not do the job for us, and will only try to persuade him within reason. If he has legitimate reasons for not wanting us to keep the child, then they will not try to change his mind, but they will continue to support us no matter what.

So here we were, sitting uncomfortably around the dinner table at my dad's house. I had made roast chicken, but I wasn't particularly hungry, and the smell of the stuffing and dad's beer was making me want to show everyone the last thing I ate. Not to mention the nerves that were making their attack on my whole body. I was trying not to shake or stutter whenever I talked, but it was difficult knowing what I was about to tell Charlie.

"Ok, so now we're all here uncomfortably, what's this about Bells?" Charlie broke the silence.

"Um...ok...Dad, there's something we have to tell you..."

Carlisle gave a small cough at this.

"Sorry, something Edward and I have to tell you..."

Charlie looked up at my from his food an expectant look on his face "well, spit it out then."

"I'm pregnant..." I whispered...

"What?!"

"I'm pregnant..." I said a little louder, the untouched food on my plate now suffering examination with my fingers. Who knew the make-up of chicken could be so interesting?

"I heard you the first time! How did this happen?!"

"Well...if you really want the details..." I said, desperately trying to get a smile out of him.

"No! I don't want the details!" he said, looking like he was desperately trying not to grimace "I meant, when...how long for?"

"Um, I'm 2 months and 2 weeks..."

Charlies mouth gapped wide enough that you could fit a baseball in it easily, with room to move.

"If the wind changes Charlie..." I said

"How long have you known?"

"A few days..."

So far, Charlie's reaction was calmer than expected. That was until he looked up at Edward, who was staring intently at me, and not ready for Charlies next movement.

"YOU!" Charlie screamed, lunging across the table "You did this! I'll kill you!"

Edward struggled for a moment, before prying Charlie's hand off of him, and Carlisle had moved around behind Charlie to pull him away, while Esme had run toward me to make sure I didn't get in the way of any of it.

"Charlie... I think you and I need to talk calmly about this. Esme and I have decided to support Edward and Bella in their decision..."

"You've already decided what you're going to do?!" Charlie looked like he was about to turn a nice shade of purple "You decided and you haven't talked to me yet!"

"We were going to Charlie..." Edward started before Charlie cut him off.

"You are not a part of this! I don't want to hear anything coming from your mouth!"

"I AM THE FATHER! I am as big a part of this as Bella! I will NOT stand here and let you demonise myself OR Bella. This was an accident, but an amazing blessing!" Edward yelled, taking a step toward Charlie.

"Edward...please..." not knowing what to say. Edward never got angry at my Dad, ever. My dad had grounded me for 2 months before, not letting Edward see me, and still Edward had remained calm. Now he looked like he was ready to knock my father out cold any second.

Edward turned slowly toward me, taking a visibly deep breath.

"God Bella...I'm so sorry... I'm going to go sit outside for a moment..." he leaned into whisper in my ear "I love you, it'll be ok..."

"Bella, you go outside with him for a moment please as well. Esme and I would like to talk to Charlie now...alone."

x-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------x

Edward and I were sitting outside on my front porch in silence for about an hour. It wasn't an uncomfortable silence, it was just clear to both of us that the other didn't want to say anything yet.

We heard the door open, Esme walked out to talk to us.

"Bella, he's ready to speak to you and Edward. He's calmed down now, but we've all agreed that it would be a good idea for you to stay with us tonight. Jasper and Emmett are having Alice and Rosalie over, so if you want to, you could tell them tonight to, if you wanted to. I know Edward wants to tell his brothers." She said, looking over and smiling at Edward. I also knew that see wanted Alice to be in on everything, so they could have lengthy discussions of what the furniture would be like, and how to decorate the nursery. Knowing the two of them, I was fairly sure it was going to be impossible to get out of this, and I would have to surrender and let them do it. The only choice was when. I take the easy route, and surrender now, or I fight for the next 7 months, and end up with the expensive designer nursery. It was easier to surrender now, and resign myself to the fact this child would grow up with family doting on it with all the most expensive recent clothing and pointless objects.

"Esme... Edward and I had a question actually..."

"Of course dear... what can I help you with?"

"Well... if it's a girl... we were wondering if we could use your christening gown. We don't expect you to answer right away, seeing as we know how much it means to you."

"Bella, I would be honoured if you used my christening gown. My mother was christened in it, so was I. I would love to have my first granddaughter christened in it. There is no question about whether or not you can you it if your child is a girl. The answer was always going to be yes"

Esme was beaming, and my heart soared, knowing that the grandmother of my child would love it almost more than I would, if that was even possible.

"Ok you two, get in there and talk to him. It's going to be fine, I promise."

x-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------x

The talk with Charlie ended up not being as excruciatingly painful as I had preferred myself for. Carlisle and Esme had obviously talked him into discussing it calmly, if nothing else.

After a few hours of discussions, Charlie had told us that he would support us through having this child, but he didn't want to live with a baby in the house. At this Edward said that Esme had already expressed a desire to have the child living in the Cullen's house for the first few months, after which, Edward and I would move into our own place. The reason for this being that I was likely to need help with feeding, changing, and generally caring after the child, because I'd have no idea. These were my words, not Esme's, but Esme had said that because I would be wanting help, it made more sense for us to stay under the same roof as them until we were ready to do it on our own.

Charlie had agreed to this, and said that I could move in when I wanted adding an almost joke by saying "I mean, how much more trouble can you get up to right?"

Edward smirked at this, and I tried to stop my mind from wandering where his undoubtedly was. It was a battle lost before it started, but thankfully we were saved by the phone ringing.

I turned angled my body to see Edward better and shot him my best death glare before Charlie walked back into the room.

He told us he had to go into the station for a while, and that he'd talk to us about it more tomorrow.

"Oh...and Bella...can I tell Renee?" Charlie added with a slight smile.

"Sure..." I was starting to think he might be looking forward to being a grandfather.

x-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------x

We got to the Cullen's just before midnight, after packing a suitcase of the majority of my clothing. We had decided I would move in before school went back in two weeks. So I decided start getting my stuff over to Edward's tonight, saving myself the hassle of doing a big move of all my stuff. A few smaller moves seemed more practical.

I went to lift my suitcase out of the car when Edward and Esme screamed at me from the Balcony, where Edward had just taken my small box of trinkets and keepsakes.

"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!"

I looked at them like they'd gone insane. "I'm getting my suitcase..."

"NO YOU'RE NOT!" Esme squealed as Edward said quieter "Bella, that must weigh at least forty five pounds... you can't lift things that heavy anymore. Not that it was particularly safe for you before anyway"

"But why?.. I'm pregnant... not dying..."

"YOU'RE PREGNANT!" Alice screamed from the doorway. Emmett appeared behind her, Rosalie behind him, and I could see Jasper lingering about 5 feet behind them, not wanting to be a part of this.

_Fuck, this is so not how I wanted to tell them._

**AN- what do you think?? Please please please REVIEW - let's get me to 75! :)**

**Love xx**


	5. Question and Answers

**AN- BLERGH!!!! 74!!! Blergh. Blergh effing blergh**

**That is what I felt writing this. A big fat BLERGH and WHAT?! I know it won't be my best, but that doesn't really matter. I had a few PM's asking me who Charlotte Maree, who this story is dedicated to, is; if you want to know too, ask in the review, and I'll explain through a PM, but I'm not going to write it on the actually story.**

**OMG! JUST AS I WAS ABOUT TO SAY FRICK IT AND UPDATE ANYHOW, I GOT THE 75TH REVIEW!! A massive freaking thank you to Nessa19. You just made my freaking day!!**

**Thank you to insatiable06 for beta-ing this for me :) you rock Becka**

**So here is chapter 5.**

**Previously:**

"**YOU'RE PREGNANT!" Alice screamed from the doorway. Emmett appeared behind her, Rosalie behind him, and I could see Jasper lingering about 5 feet behind them, not wanting to be a part of this.**

_**Fuck, this is so not how I wanted to tell them.**_

**Bella's POV**

I wanted to shrink into nothingness under the stares of my best friends. It's not that I was ashamed, I just hadn't thought out how I was going to tell them yet, and they looked almost angry that I hadn't told them yet, and Edward and Esme obviously knew, or I wouldn't have said it so casually to them.

Edward and Esme had disappeared from the balcony, and Edward had just appeared at my side. He put his arm around me pulling me into him, seeing that I had frozen on the spot.

"All of you, inside now." I heard Esme say sternly from just inside the doorway.

"But..." Alice started to protest.

"But nothing, Bella will tell you everything in a few minutes," she said, flashing a small smile at me "but in the mean time, all of you get inside, and stop staring like you've just seen her pull off a pirouette without breaking her leg."

"Bella, come inside, before you get sick" I heard Edward say quietly after everyone had slowly, reluctantly gone back inside, no doubt waiting to ambush me again the second they got a chance. I noticed for the first time the wet drizzle that was the rain, and the cold. The only light was coming from the house, as the moon was covered by clouds.

Esme came and took Edwards place at my side, softly placing an arm around my shoulder, silently reassuring me, whilst making sure I didn't fall. I had a feeling Esme was going to become as protective about my safety over the next seven months as Edward was. The idea was both endearing and annoying at the same time.

Walking inside, I looked around the house I'd seen most days for the past 3 years, and for the first time ever, it felt like home. I'd always felt welcome here. Esme and Carlisle loved having me overnight, but I had always known I'd go home. Now this was home, and I couldn't decide how I felt.

I took my time unpacking my clothes, trying to delay the inevitable discussion that would be...uncomfortable. Not bad, just uncomfortable.

After probably over an hour of folding and refolding my clothes, and changing which drawers I put them in, Edward was still watching me intently, and I realised that I couldn't put it off any longer.

_Except...I could have a shower..._

After I showered, and got changed into a pair of sweatpants and a loose fitting shirt, Edward and I finally made out way to the lounge room to find Alice and Jasper sitting together watching Emmett and Rosalie play Grand Theft Auto. Alice looked longingly at the screen, and it was clear that Emmett had thrown her off after she beat him and Rosalie, again. Alice was scarily good at that game, and it made Emmett overly jealous of his brother's girlfriend.

Despite how wrapped up everyone was in the game, everyone stopped what they were doing and turned to look expectantly at Edward and me when we walked into the room.

**Edward's POV**

I was so fucking stupid, yelling to her not to carry something from the fucking balcony. I should've known Alice and her incredible timing would've intervened. Bella and I haven't even talked about what we were going to tell them. HOW we were going to tell them. Yet, here we are, standing in the lounge room, everyone staring at Bella and I, waiting for us to tell them what the hell was going on. These were our best friends, and they were likely to be pissed off that we had neglected to tell them, even though it's been all of a few days.

I looked around the room, and had to stop myself from laughing at the 4 people who looked comically frozen, staring at us expectantly.

"So... you're probably a little confused huh?" I said instead, not sure where to start, I figured pointing out that I knew they were probably confused would be a better start than waiting for Alice to unleash her wrath on me. Bella was her best friend, and I could see my brothers little pixie-like girlfriend beating the shit out of me at any moment.

"Dude, you fucking got in!" Emmett yelled before we all heard a sickening smack sound. Everyone turned simultaneously to see Emmett clutching his side, and Rosalie glaring at him as if she was about to hit him...again.

"Sorry babe..."

"Next time Em, shut the fuck up before you say anything." Rosalie said, playfully this time, before pinning him down and kissing him like no one else was in the room.

I cleared my throat, suddenly glad we had to tell everyone what was going on. It meant we wouldn't have to endure Rosalie and Emmett all but screwing each other in the lounge room. Seriously, those two had a lack of self-control similar to that of primitive animals.

Bella and I sat on the couch, and she snuggled into my side. I kissed her hair, before she said, "Well, as you all know now, I'm pregnant. I don't know what you want to know, or how you feel about this, but Edward and I are keeping it, any questions?" Bella said all of this decisively and I couldn't help a swell of pride I felt at her taking control of everyone in the room.

Alice's hand shot up, indicating that she had a question. I snorted in amusement. Alice was treating this like a classroom, and she looked like a 10 year old who wanted to ask a question about the Power Rangers.

"Alice." I said, deciding to go with her particular choice of set up for this question and answer session, but slightly dreading the question that would come out of her mouth.

"First of all, I'm pissed off that I found out after Edward, Bella!"

I looked at her incredulously... I am the father... of course I was going to find out first.

"I mean, I normally see these things coming! I had no idea! Otherwise I would've been with you when you took the freaking test."

Alice jumped out of her seat, pacing back and forth in the middle of the room, leaving Jasper sitting on the couch by himself, looking amused at his girlfriend's rant. He knew what was coming most likely.

"But, all that stuff aside! We need to go shopping for maternity clothes! When do I get to design the nursery? Are you moving in here Bella? I saw the suitcase... I guess that makes sense..."

"Alice, calm down!" Bella said, sitting up before continuing, "We don't need to go shopping yet! I'm not designing the nursery, there will be the furniture that's needed, and the baby's things. It's not going to have designer brands! We don't need that."

It was my turn to look at Bella, of course, this baby was going to have the very best, I wasn't going to settle for any less than that.

"Bella, I'm with Alice on this one."

"Ha!" Alice looked at me in excitement, and I could almost hear what she was thinking. I could picture the cribs she had more than likely looked at on the internet while Bella was procrastinating.

Bella huffed, and I knew that she knew she was defeated on this one before the fight even started.

"Any other questions?" Bella asked, looking around the room expectantly.

"I have one!" Emmett piped up, receiving a glare from me, and another smack in the ribs from Rosalie.

"On that note, I'm tired, pregnant, and hungry, craving chocolate chip muffins." Bella said, standing and making her way to the kitchen. I would've tried to stop her, if I hadn't have known that attempting to stop her from baking meant certain death when her hormones weren't raging. Instead, I accompanied her, sitting on a stool, watching at she worked her way around the kitchen, getting everything she needed.

I glanced at the clock after she had finished making the mix and put it in the oven, setting the timer for 25 minutes. It was nearly 3am, and I knew that if we didn't get to bed soon, then we'd be in bed all day tomorrow, which, unfortunately, wasn't an option.

**AN- ok, I know it sucks monkey balls, I KNOW!**

**Ok, so here's a random fact for y'all. I just went and google defined effing. It said:**

**A bowdlerization of f**king**

**So then of course I was like, well, wtf does bowdlerization mean? So I google defined that. I got:**

**Expurgation is a form of censorship by way of purging anything noxious, offensive, sinful, or erroneous, usually from an artistic work. **

**I was like WHAT?? I can see this google defining being a very long, endless process of words that I don't understand, but at the end of it, I will be more articulate. WOOT.**

**I would still absolutely love reviews. Can we make it to 100??? I WOULD BE FUCKING ECSTATIC!!**


	6. Principals and Edwards

**Ok – A massive thank you goes out to the(dot)lamb(dot)loves(dot)the(dot)lion who gave me my 100th review! Also to Ani, who just missed out :-(**

**I'd love for you to go read lizzie1234 and meilzdoggg01's stuff! I beta for lizzie1234 :D**

**Thank you to insatiable06 for beta-ing this chapter for me. You my dear, are pure awesome.**

**So, on with the chapter?**

**Bella's POV**

The rest of the summer passed to quickly in a blur of packing boxes and doctors appointments, and all too soon Edward and I found ourselves looking for school supplies, and Alice was dragging me shopping for clothes to accentuate my growing baby bump, rather than hide it. There really was no point in hiding it, as she'd rightly pointed out, given that the entire town was already suspicious, and their suspicions would be confirmed in a matter of days when it became clear to everyone that I was living with the Cullen's.

Therefore, I found myself with Alice and Edward in a maternity store just outside of Port Angeles, trying on various embarrassingly showy pieces of clothing that I would never wear before, let alone now that I was pregnant. I was only trying on these particular pieces of clothing to humour Alice, I had already set my eye on a few simple but nice tops, and a pair of very nice jeans that would expand as I did. I was now 3 months pregnant, and the jeans that I wore before were rapidly becoming too tight for me to wear comfortably, and I refused to walk around school in a pair of sweatpants. I wasn't fashion obsessed, but I definitely knew when to draw the line between casual and downright wrong. There seemed to be a craze going around that Alice shuddered at, and I agreed with her. 'Designer' sweatpants and fluffy ugg-boots. Ugg-boots I can almost understand, given the weather here in Forks, but the sweatpants and ugg-boots together made them look as though they were wandering around their house about to go to bed.

After our day of torture, or shopping as it's more commonly referred to as, Edward and I shut ourselves in our room to avoid Rosalie and Emmett, who had a fight earlier this week, and were still making it up to each other. Even Esme and Carlisle had vacated the house for the day, scared of walking into a room to a sight they would rather remain ignorant of. Alice had vacated to Jaspers, and they were going to come back here later tonight, so that left Edward and I alone for a few hours. I was extremely glad of this; we had yet to discuss what was going to happen at school. We had never hidden our relationship, but we were never huge on public displays of affection, and I would soon be supporting the biggest public display of affection imaginable.

"Edward..." I started hesitantly, not exactly sure of how to bring this up. "What's going to happen at school?" I ended up blurting out before I could phrase the question any differently.

Edward turned around from the bookshelf where he was searching for his copy of 'Wuthering Heights', which I had neglected to mention that I borrowed a while ago and is now in the box just by his feet. It was funny to watch him search so I wasn't about to tell him now.

"What do you mean 'what's going to happen'?" he asked, looking at me quizzically.

"Well... I mean... people are going to find out about 'this'," I pointed to my stomach "very soon, and people are going to talk. What are we going to tell them? What if..." I trailed off, not wanting to voice it, but knowing very well that he would know what I was wondering. What if people don't believe this baby was his? There have been rumours flying around for the past year about Jacob Black and me, and also Mike Newton (of all people) and me. Edward and I were fairly sure these rumours were started by Lauren and Jessica in an attempt to break Edward and I up, which would never work, but it was interesting to watch them bicker when it didn't work.

"Bella..." he started, walking over to me and sitting on the bed next to me, taking one of my hands in his "I promise you I will not let anyone say anything about you and our child unless it's good. I believe in you, and I know that we can do this, despite the rumours that are bound to fly. This town is small; we're just going to have to remember that. It isn't often that there's some juicy news for them to talk about. So yes, they're probably going to milk this for all it's worth. But you and I both know that despite what people are bound to say, this child is mine, and we love each other. We are completely faithful to each other, and we're going to be a family, Bella." Edward grinned as he said this "A family... Bella... I love you."

x-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------x

Morning came all too soon, and I woke to rare sun filtering through the thin curtains. I rolled over and groaned, reaching out to find Edward's side of the bed empty. My eyes shot open and I sat up quickly, trying not to dispel whatever may be in my stomach still. It had been 3 months, and the morning sickness was only just starting to subside, but still liked to rear its head with a vengeance occasionally.

"Bella, lie back down... I'm right here." I heard from the doorway. I looked over to see Edward standing there with a tray of bacon and eggs, which, now that I was paying attention, were making my stomach growl at me. My appetite had increased tenfold in the past month, and my sense of smell was amazing.

Instead of lying down, I slid back up against the headboard of the bed, and grinned at the tray Edward was holding.

"You really expect me to lie down when I can smell bacon?"

"No, not really, but I can hope that you're not about to exert yourself more than is necessary. You looked like you were ready to run a marathon with the way you sat up just then"

I glared playfully at him. He knew well that I got worried if I woke up and he wasn't there. Now that worry was increased because I couldn't bring myself to believe he was actually staying with me and being so amazingly supportive about this whole situation.

"Bella, stop worrying, I'm not going anywhere."

I gave him a look that plainly said, "How do you know what I'm thinking about?"

"You have that look on your face. The one you get whenever you start to think about something that upsets you. You wrinkle your nose a little, narrow your eyes, and started to chew on your lip."

I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Give me the food Edward." I said, earning myself a grin and small chuckle from him. He knew that I got defensive whenever he analysed my expressions. It was his way of reading my mind, and he could be so good at wiping his face of all expression at times that I didn't see how it was fair that he could read mine so easily.

He placed the tray of food carefully on the bed, and left to have a shower while I ate. He very rarely ate breakfast, and I was used to eating alone. When lunch came however, he was usually starving, and I'd learnt to pack enough for two because he never thought ahead to see that maybe he'd need more food than just an apple.

x-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------x

We arrived at school half an hour before the bell for homeroom. Everything seemed normal, but not many people had arrived yet.

Walking into the principal's office the gossip queen of the town, who happened to be the receptionist for the principal, gave me a knowing look that obviously said "you're the pregnant girl." _People in this town really don't know anything about discretion_. I found myself missing the size of Phoenix for the first time since I'd been with Edward. Edward pulled me closer to his side as the receptionist motioned for us to have a seat, and telling us the principal would be out soon.

"Bella, calm down, remember to breath. It's going to be fine." Edward tried to reassure me as the door to the principal's office opened, and out walked the balding middle aged man in a suit that he wore to try to intimidate people. It worked on me, but Edward stood up straight and greeted him with confidence.

"Mr. Lanham, thank you for meeting us this morning"

"Yes, Mr. Cullen, Ms. Swan. Come on in to my office, would you?"

The office was plain with a cracked vinyl sofa pressed against one wall, in a vain attempt to make the students feel more comfortable coming into his office, two plastic desk chairs were on the opposite side of the desk to a rather large ostentatious black leather chair.

"Take a seat would you?" Mr. Lanham motioned toward the two plastic chairs, rather than the sofa, making it clear he disliked this situation.

Edward and I sat down, my hand remaining in Edwards' as he gave it an encouraging squeeze. Silently telling me 'you can do this'. The encouragement was lost on me though under Lanham's intense gaze.

"Well, I must say Ms. Swan, I do not agree with you continuing to study here in your... current condition. However, I can do nothing about it, due to laws on equality."

Edward visibly tensed, and I knew there was little point in trying to calm him.

"You're quite right; you can do nothing about it. I fully expect you to make what accommodations are needed for Bella to continue studying here and finishing her high school diploma before her pregnancy has reached full term. She is already a semester ahead of everyone with study, so that should be no issue."

Mr. Lanham was obviously taken back by Edwards disdain for his words.

"Yes... Mr. Cullen, of course. If that is all, you two should get to classes."

Edward and I walked out of the office and into the quad were people were starting to linger, waiting for the bell that was due to go in about 10 minutes.

"Edward, you really didn't have to do that. It was fine. We both knew that people weren't going to love the idea of this as much as you and I..." I was glad that Edward had stood up for me, but I was also slightly embarrassed at the same time, and I wanted to blend into the background for as long as I could before I flew to the front of every person's sight.

"Bella, there is no way in hell I am going to let anyone, even the principal of the school, say or imply anything negative about you. He was telling you he didn't want you studying here because you're pregnant! I was not about to let that go."

He kissed the top of head before saying, "I have to go do something, I'll be back in 2 minutes, I promise. Don't move." He said, smirking "And don't fall over."

I smacked him playfully before he went jogging off toward the building.

I heard snickering moving closer to me from behind me, I turned to see Lauren and Jess walking up toward me, with the look on their faces that told even the slowest person that they were up to no good. I looked around for Edward, hoping to god he'd be back soon.

"So... Bella... there's so much we need to talk about..."

**AN – ahahaha I'm sorry I just had to leave it there, because that's right, I'm evil. EVIL. So evil in fact, that I would absolutely LOVE to get to 150 reviews... do you reckon I can do that? I have more than enough people on alerts, plus, if you've read it PLEASE REVIEW IT!**


	7. Jess, Lauren and Hospital

**AN- ok, so.. I just want to say a MASSIVE thank you everyone who reviewed!! I have made it to 158 reviews, and I want to hug every freaking one of you.**

**THANK YOU KRAZZY KESS – who gave me my 150th review, and also Nessa19 – who was duelling for it. I must say, you guys made my day with that!**

**Thank you to insatiable06 for beta-ing this for me :) you rock Becka**

**Previously:**

I heard snickering moving closer to me from behind me, I turned to see Lauren and Jess walking up toward me, with the look on their faces that told even the slowest person that they were up to no good. I looked around for Edward, hoping to god he'd be back soon.

"So... Bella... there's so much we need to talk about..."

**Continued:**

**Bella's POV**

"What do you want Lauren? Jess?" I asked, trying to keep my voice as calm as possible, while my heart sped to a hundred miles an hour, and all of my extremities were begging me to run, while my brain was telling me that running would only make it worse.

_Why can parts of my body never agree?!_

My stomach was doing summersaults, combine that with the morning sickness, and the horrible sight that was Jess and Lauren, I was just about ready to hurl if Edward didn't come back soon. I hated these two, and they hated me. I had the man they wanted, and they had done nothing to me to make me not hate them, only cruelties to make me despise them even more. I normally don't hold grudges, but with these two it was beyond easy.

"Well Bella..." Jessica started, but from experience, I knew that Lauren would be finishing this sentence.

"We heard about your little situation, and we want to know a few things." Lauren finished just as I knew she would.

"I really have nothing to say that concerns you two." I said, and I turned to walk away.

"Oh, but where do you think you're going Belly?"

_Original...really..._

"I'm leaving before I hit one of you two."

"I don't think so" Lauren said, as a hand grabbed my elbow roughly, trying to pull me to turn towards them, just as I pulled away. It all felt like it was happening in slow motion. The ground suddenly lost contact with my feet, and my legs tried desperately to find it again, but I could feel myself falling already. The fall itself seemed to last twice as long as it really was, and my body was prepared for the fall, my two hands had shot to beneath me, in an attempt to cushion the landing. What I hadn't seen was the long metal bench chair. I felt my lower back slam into it, and my head again as I fell, crumpling to the floor.

Worry flashed across Jessica's face for a tiny moment, before Lauren laughed, and Jessica joined in.

"Aw, is Belly losing what scrap of coordination she has left as she expands?" Lauren said, with a fake 'worried pout'.

My hand went to the back of my head to check if the was blood, luckily there was none, although I would have a bump the size of an egg for a few days. I groaned as I went to stand up, still trying to ignore the two girls.

Lauren wasn't going to have this though, as she crouched and pressed her hand roughly down on my shoulder. The action, to any onlooker, would look like she was checking if I was alright.

"You're not going anywhere, BELLA." She hissed through gritted teeth.

"Holy shit Bella! Lauren, Jess, what the FUCK do you think you're doing?! Get away from her now!" Relief flooded through me when I heard Edward's (rather angry) voice coming from somewhere to my left.

Lauren froze, obviously suddenly scared, and then managed to compose herself.

"We're just helping you out like you asked Eddy."

I could almost hear Edward as he rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, right, you think Bella is ever going to believe shit like that coming from you. Now get the hell away from her, before I move you away." The threat in his voice was enough to make the toughest of people scared, fear flashed over Lauren's face as she stood up, grabbed Jessica's arm, and they walked away quickly.

"Shit Bella... are you ok?" Edward had taken Lauren's place in front of me, and pulled me in against his chest, holding me tightly. I could feel him shaking with both anger and fear. He would never hit a girl, but I could tell he was close to it just then.

"I'm fine, seriously. Just a bit sore." I answered, trying desperately to calm him down. I didn't want any trouble, and I most certainly didn't want to have a worried Edward on my hands for the rest of the day.

"Where are you sore? Did they... I mean... is the baby... did they try to hurt the baby?" He choked out, fighting against the tears in his eyes.

My heart broke at the sight. Edward had only come close to crying in front of me once or twice in the past, and each time, it had the same affect on me.

x-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------x

"We should probably get you checked over Bella, and maybe do that ultrasound a little early." Carlisle told me as he and Esme prepared dinner in the kitchen. I had no intentions of telling Carlisle, or anyone for that matter, about what happened at school, but Edward, being Edward, had insisted in case there was more injury than we could see, and in case anything had happened to the baby. He always did like to worry, quite a bit like my mother (who was planning on coming down in a few weeks, now that she knew I was pregnant, she wanted to make sure everything was ok).

"Carlisle... I feel fine, really. I don't think that any extra tests are necessary..."

"Bella, we would do this for any pregnant lady who had a fall, no matter what stage of pregnancy. The fact that it's my grandchild in there only reinforces my desire as a doctor to make sure that everything is ok." He leaned over to whisper something in my ear, "besides, Edward has threatened to tell Esme what I got her for our anniversary if I don't do these tests."

I rolled my eyes. Of course he did.

_I'm going to kill him one day._

The evening was once again filled with a trip to the hospital, and after being poked and prodded and having blood taken (during which I passed out, which just made the whole process longer), Edward and I were sitting in the ultrasound room, while I drank yet another cup of water. Apparently, I had to have a full bladder to see anything on the ultrasound, and this was getting ridiculously uncomfortable. There is only so full a person's bladder can get, but still they made me drink MORE water.

The nurse eventually came in and set up the ultrasound machine. Carlisle was next to her, as a doctors consult.

The gel the squirted on my stomach was freezing, and made me jump a little. Edward was squeezing my hand, sitting on the edge of the bed next to me, so that he could see the screen as well. It seemed I was the only one who couldn't see the screen, which was quite annoying really.

The nurse took the ultrasound stick and pressed firmly on my lower abdomen. She moved it around, constantly using the mouse at the same time to click something on the screen.

"Ok Bella, we have some good news," she said smiling "everything looks completely normal, would you like to see the image of the fetus?"

I nodded quickly, grinning as I looked up at Edward, who had tears running down his cheeks.

_Honestly, he's more emotional than me sometimes._

I looked back at the nurse as she angled the screen toward me.

"Ok, you see here" the nurse took the mouse and moved it over a shape resembling a peanut, about 3 inches long "that's the head, and you can see here the arms and legs formed."

"Can you tell if it's a girl or a boy yet?"

Carlisle chuckled a bit at this before answering, "no, we won't be able to see that for about another month at least"

"See Edward, I told you everything would be fine". Despite my previous confidence that everything would be fine, I was relieved to hear that everything was fine and that the baby was growing well.

Edward leaned down and placed a small kiss on my stomach after the gel had been wiped away, and whispered, "love you little one" before he brought his head up and kissed my nose saying, "and I love you Bella"

**AN- Ok, so if that wasn't some freaking awesome fluff towards the end, I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS! :p**

**So here is a quote from meilzdoggg01:**

_**Remember, procrastination is like masturbation; it feels good to begin with, but in the end, you realise you just fucked yourself.**_


	8. Rosalie's vengance

**AN- OK, so thank you to EVERYONE who reviewed last chapter, I made it to 200, just... a big thank you to midorigreentea, who gave me the 200****th**** review.**

**Go check out meilzdoggg01 and lizzie1234 if you get a chance, I beta for lizzie1234, and her story (Luna Eclipse) is so imaginative and fun to read – so please do.**

**Edward's POV**

"They did WHAT?!"

Bella and I were back home, and Rosalie and Alice were sitting across from me, on the couch in my room, while I sat on the bed, waiting for Bella to get out of the shower.

"I'm not sure exactly what happened, but I came back out after talking to Jasper for a few minutes to find Bella on the ground, and Jess and Lauren standing over her. Lauren was pressing down on Bella's shoulder, and looked like she was threatening her. I'm glad I came out when I did..."

I shuddered to think what could have happened to Bella and our child if I hadn't come out when I did. Lauren and Jessica were two of the most relentless girls I had ever met, and it wouldn't surprise me in the slightest if they had hurt my child and showed no remorse.

"Well, Alice and I will find out exactly what those two skanks wanted won't we Al?"

Alice grinned and nodded, turning toward Rose as they started planning exactly how they were going to get back at Jessica and Lauren. I had known they would, and I wasn't about to stop them from doing anything, except possibly murder, although that was still on my list of possibilities, but I wasn't going to be a part of the planning either. Bella would probably forgive me for it if I did, but I couldn't live with myself.

_Not knowing that I hurt someone...because what if one day I hurt her?_

I heard the shower stop, and the shower door open. Alice and Rosalie must have heard it to, because they both stood up and walked out of the room, still talking animatedly, undoubtedly figuring out the best way to hurt Jessica and Lauren without leaving visible marks. Getting Alice and Rosalie angry was something I had avoided like the plague ever since they started dating my brothers. They could be ridiculously scary when they wanted to be, and I doubt that Jessica and Lauren knew what was coming.

Bella stepped out of the bathroom, and walked over to the bed.

"Edward, I was thinking. Maybe... maybe if it's a girl we could call it Charlotte? I don't know why, but that name has been jumping out at me from pages of books, and people with the name Charlotte seem to be everywhere. I don't know if you noticed, but the nurse who did the ultrasound tonight, her name was Charlotte. Books by Charlotte Bronte seem to be begging me to pick them up and read them. You probably think it's a bit silly, and I don't normally believe in 'signs', but in this case... I think maybe it is. Plus, I think Charlie might like it too." She said grinning a little "what do you think?"

I sat, thinking for a moment. I did like the name Charlotte, I always had. It was elegant, but not arrogant and pretentious.

_Charlotte Cullen. It works. Kind of just rolls of the tongue._

I smiled "I like it. I think you're right, it might be a sign that you're seeing it everywhere, and Charlie would be over the moon."

x-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------x

**Rosalie's POV**

_No one hurt's Bella and gets away with it. No one nearly hurts my Emmett's brother's baby, or any baby for that matter, and gets away unscathed. I'm going to fucking kill these bitches._

I was absolutely fuming when Alice and I left Edward's room. As he had told us what happened, I had to hold back a rant that would have rivalled that of Alice's when she found out Bella was pregnant. Of course she hadn't ranted in front of Edward and Bella, and she was happy that Bella was pregnant, just upset that she hadn't found out earlier. She normally had a strange sixth sense about knowing when something was about to happen. I wasn't happy though, and my rant wouldn't have been one that people could laugh at. Now I had to hold back from committing murder, because apparently that's still illegal.

Alice and I were now in the same quad we're they'd hurt Bella, waiting for Jessica and Lauren to show up before the bell rang. Just as I thought about it, Alice nudged me discretely with her elbow, and I turned to see Lauren and Jess, clad in the most disgusting almost matching bright yellow short shorts and black shirts. It was entirely too cold and rainy for that today, but it didn't seem to bother them in the slightest, nor did their apparent lack of fashion sense.

Alice and I started walking in their direction, and I saw Lauren look us up and down, and say something that was apparently hilarious to Jessica.

"Hi girls" Alice started, in a tone that could easily be mistaken as happy, if you hadn't known her true intentions. Alice and I linked our arms through Jessica and Lauren's respectively.

"What the hell are you two doing?" Lauren asked, trying to jerk her arm away from me, but I tightened my grip on her, and she grimaced in pain, making me smile.

"Lauren, there's so much we need to talk about" I said, faux sweetly, mimicking the words Bella had told Edward that Lauren had said to her, and Alice and I pulled them toward the back of the building where people rarely went.

**AN – ok, so if I get to 275 reviews (which really shouldn't be THAT hard, given there are 95 people on alerts, and people who just stumble across this story) I will write the Rosalie+Alice vs Lauren+Jess fight**


	9. Don't Insult the Hair

**OK, a thank you to dazzlemebetch who pointed out that I had stuffed up the months and what not. I was writing this basing the current time being like...early August, thinking that's when they start school, but apparently wiki let me down again :( so just pretend that the school year begins at the beginning of August k? Thanks you!**

**Just to reiterate my point from the last 2 AN's – **

** Thank you guys so fucking much for getting me to OVER 275. You made my day(s) with your wonderful reviews, they truly are appreciated.**

**Rosalie's POV**

Alice and I pulled the two bitches around the back of the school. Jess was cowering in fright, while Lauren was trying to act cocky, but her eyes gave her away; she was scared shitless.

"So, how can I help you? Did you want some advice on the haircut that looks remarkably like a porcupine raping your head Alice?"

Alice's eyes flashed with anger, and even I was scared for a moment. No one and I mean absolutely no one, insults Alice's hair and gets away with it. I didn't want to have to hold Alice back from murder, but I might have to.

"You'll pay for that Lauren, after we deal with the little incident with Bella. Care to explain why you attacked a pregnant lady."

"The whore had it coming." Jessica piped up, suddenly looking proud. This made me feel sick, that she could be PROUD of trying to hurt Bella. Alice stepped closer to Jessica, and Jessica took one step back to find her back pressed against the brick wall of the Gym. Alice, who had a fantastic punch for someone her size, threw a punch into Jessica's ribs, in the exact position it would hurt like hell, and wind her, but leave no lasting damage. Lauren tried to run toward Alice, but I threw her back against the brick wall, a lot softer than I would have liked to, but again, I didn't want to leave too many visible marks. Lauren's head flung back into the brick wall, not hard enough to give her a concussion, but she'd have a fucking bad headache in a few hours. I wanted her to have nearly the same injuries as Bella, so she knew exactly what it was like. Unfortunately she wouldn't have the fear that she'd lost a child. I would never wish a miscarriage upon anyone, not even these bitches, but I wish they knew the absolute terror you felt when you think that there's a possibility that you had.

Lauren's hand flew to the back of her head, just like I'm sure Bella's would have, to check if she was bleeding.

"Ok, we get it, don't mess with Bella" Lauren said, realising she wouldn't win this fight.

"Wait a moment; we still have the issue of your little comment before to deal with. Rosie, can you pass me the scissors from my bag there?"

I grinned as I realised what she was going to do. Lauren, slow as always, gave Alice a confused look as I passed her the scissors.

"Ok, I might need you to hold her up against the wall Rose, her back to me."

I turned Lauren around roughly, and shoved her into the wall, and then quickly looked up at Jessica, who looked like she was about to help Lauren.

_Fucking Lemmings._

"If you so much as think about helping her, you're next, get it?"

Jessica just gave a meek nod as Alice roughly pulled all of Lauren's hideous peroxide blonde hair back, and cut it off roughly at the base of her neck, not being accurate or neat, just making it short. Lauren would have to go get her haircut professionally now into a short cut, all because she couldn't, or wouldn't keep her thoughts to herself. I know I should feel bad for her, but I didn't.

Alice stepped back and told Lauren to turn around. Alice then handed Lauren the hair she'd cut off, before saying "don't insult my hair again" in sickly sweet tone, that clearly got across the unspoken message of fuck with me, and I fuck with you.

We picked up our bags, and we walked away, leaving the two bitches standing there, shell shocked, trying to figure out what the hell just happened.

When Alice and I had gotten out of earshot we broke down in giggles.

"That was fucking awesome Al! What made you think of cutting off her hair?!"

Alice grinned, and said "well... I've had enough of people insulting my hair, and I was already pissed off at her for hurting Bella, and trying to come onto Jasper. She keeps flicking her hair, and brushing it all the time. I figured I'd hurt her in the most hideous way, to her anyway, that I could"

I held up my hand for her to high five, and she hit my hand with more force than I had expected, and I pulled my hand away and glared mock angrily at her.

"Ow" I pouted "that stung". Alice just giggled and just kept walking.

_Wow, she's fucking evil. God, remind me not to get on her bad side._ I thought, grinning to myself before running off to find Emmett and give him the full wrap of the "discussion" we'd had with the "two bitches", as we'd come to refer to them as, because they didn't deserve to have their names spoken.

x-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------x

**A week later**

**Bella's POV**

Lauren and Jessica hadn't been at school all of last week, and it was now Monday, and I scanned the lunchroom to see them sitting in the back corner, looking done and muttering to each other. I narrowed my eyes in confusion as I tried to figure out what was different about them.

Then it hit me... they both have haircut's almost identical to Alice's, which is strange, considering they'd always hated her haircut, and it was a point of endless teasing for her, not that she paid any attention. Alice loved her hair.

I walked up to the table where Alice and Rosalie sat, looking oddly pleased and smug about something, with Jasper and Emmett, who looked amused.

Emmett looked up at me, and then to the tight top I was wearing today, which showed off my growing bump. Alice had shoved me in this top this morning, despite my protests. She had said that people wouldn't be bothering me anymore, but I couldn't figure out how Alice could possibly know that.

"Looking good Bella, you're growing quickly" Emmett said, through a mouthful of food. I raised an eyebrow at him and turned toward Alice and Rosalie who were trying to hide their smug expressions.

"Guys, what's with the two bitches' hair? I mean... I thought they hated your pixie cut Alice?" I paused for a moment and then I had a realisation. Jessica and Lauren hadn't been at school since the day after they hurt me, and Alice and Rosalie had been oddly happy when they got home from school that day.

"What did you two do?!" I asked, hoping to god they weren't going to get in trouble. I hated confrontation, and I hated getting in trouble at school even more; this year was going to be hard enough as it was.

"We just talked to them Bella" Rosalie said, a little too quickly, and I rolled my eyes.

"Honestly, you shouldn't worry so much Bella; it's not good for you or my little neice"

"What makes you so sure it's a girl Alice? I don't even find out for about another month..."

Alice had been telling me since everyone found out I was pregnant that it was a girl, and wanting to go shopping for the baby things that I'd need for the nursery, but I wouldn't let her until we found out what I was having, and even then...I would only be letting her reluctantly.

"I know these things Bella. I know these things." She said, tapping her nose.

I just rolled my eyes and looked back at Jessica and Lauren, who were staring at our table, but turned away again quickly when they saw me looking.

_Great, now I want to know what happened..._

"Alice...just tell me what happened? I'm curious now. I promise I won't get angry... I'm just trying to figure out why on earth they would cut their hair like that."

Alice glared at me all of a sudden, and it took me a moment to realise that she thought I was insulting her hair.

I rolled my eyes before saying "because they spent so long thinking of names to tease you with, that's all Alice, calm down."

After convincing Rosalie and Alice I wouldn't get mad at them, they told me the entire recollection of a week ago, and I sat, completely stunned that these two girls would do this for me. I couldn't help but laugh when Alice told me what they said about her hair, but only because it was so unoriginal, and I knew that it would only make the incur the wrath of Alice, which should be avoided at all costs.

Alice finished up with her cutting off Lauren's hair, and I burst out laughing, unable to hold in my amusement of the mental image of Lauren's face when she had her precious hair handed to her by Alice Brandon.

**AN – ok guys, reviews please. **

**PS – if you have time, you should go check out the stories I beta, there's a list on my profile.**

* * *

**Thank you to sweettoothmegs for the haircut idea, I totally forgot to say this before :'( forgive me?? LOVED THE IDEA, IT WAS AWESOME, and it worked so well with what I had planned. So credit for that idea should go to her.**


	10. Anxiety

**AN – ****I just want to say thank you to algonquinrt for giving me the finer details needed in the first part of this chapter. Very helpful, although I am sorry I didn't use the description 'major gas'; it just wasn't QUITE right.**

**A quick shout-out to my dear meilzdoggg01 who is at biology camp, and can't join us here today. I'd like you all to take a moment to mourn her absence. It breaks my heart a little. (I'm being serious)**

_**August 12**__**th**_

I was lying on the bed watching Edward as he typed his part of our biology assessment. I finished mine yesterday, and now he felt like he was behind, even though it wasn't to be handed in for 2 weeks.

He ran his fingers through his hair like he does whenever he's frustrated or nervous.

_Wait for it...yup there it is._

He pinched the bridge of his nose. He was stuck. I went to slide of the bed to help him when I felt it.

"Oh!" I almost yelled my hand flying to my stomach as I nearly started panicking.

"Bella!" Edward cried, jumped out of his chair, knocking it over and running to me. Just a few seconds later Carlisle, who had been in the next room burst into the room and rushed over to me.

"Bella, what's wrong?" Carlisle asked, sitting me back down on the bed.

"I don't know...it was a sudden pressure, and then it just...went...it wasn't painful really..."

A look of realisation passed over Carlisle's face before he asked me to put my hand on exactly where the pressure was.

"Bella, you scared me for a moment. It was just the baby kicking. Is this the first time you've felt it?"

I nodded, a smile coming over my face as Edward looked at me in amazement.

"The baby is kicking already?" Edward turned to Carlisle.

"Well actually, it's a bit late in starting, but it could have been moving before and Bella just didn't notice. It is, after all, her first time being pregnant, and it's not uncommon for women to only just start feeling the foetus move"

Edward rolled his eyes "lose the medical terminology Dad, it's our baby, not our foetus" he said seriously, even though he was grinning. He hated it when Carlisle referred to the baby as a foetus, even though it was technically correct.

_**August 19**__**th**_

Edward ushered me into the car, insisting we were running late, even though we had half an hour to get to the hospital that was a 10 minute drive from the house. Carlisle was grinning at us from the driver's seat. He found it oh so amusing that I was being rushed around, getting thoroughly annoyed. I'm sure he was waiting for Edward to lose his head.

_I could find a machete somewhere; all it takes is one swing..._

I shook my head, discontinuing that thought before I committed murder on the day of the ultrasound when we would **hopefully** find out the sex of the baby. I was now roughly 20 weeks pregnant, and was getting rounder by the day.

I settled in the car, angling my body so that one leg was draped over Edward's lap and my back was nestled in the corner between the door and seat. It was comfortable because my legs had been aching a bit lately.

I pulled out the diary that I was writing about the pregnancy in. This wasn't the one that the hospital had given us. This was one I bought myself when I realised it was going to be harder for me to go through this pregnancy than I had originally though. I was scared shitless now.

_**Bella's Pregnancy Diary**_

_**I'll admit that it is a little bit depressing to watch my once perfectly flat stomach expand so dramatically so quickly, and to know that there was more to come. To be completely honest, I am freaking out. I never realised how much I loved my body before.**_

_**Edward is being supportive though, and he seems to love my body, which makes me feel better about it. He feels my belly every opportunity, trying to feel the baby kick. He can't feel it yet apparently, but he is determined to feel it. It's quite cute really, watching his face as he concentrates on trying to feel something whenever I feel the baby kicking. It kicks like a Cullen, I can tell you that much. It's already far too coordinated to take after me in that department; so far I haven't felt it manage to kick itself in the face after all.**_

_**We're finding out the sex of the baby today. I hope it's a girl. I'm not sure why. I think Edward wants a girl too. Someone he can spoil. He's going to be a great father, I can see that. I'm just scared I won't be a good enough mother.**_

Edward stroked my leg pulling me out of my trance as I stared at what I had just written. I didn't even realise what I was writing, but as I read over it I realised it was true.

"What's wrong love?"

_Do I tell him the truth? That I'm scared...he'll just feel guilty and try to fix it. I'm not sure it can be fixed that easily. Then again...if I don't tell him I'm lying to him..._

Instead of saying anything, I handed him the diary, still open at the page I had just written on. He read through it quickly, a look of worry, and then sadness took over his face.

"Bella..."

"Edward" I cut him off "I don't want to have that conversation just yet, ok? I am happy that we're having this child. I'm just being a normal first time mother, worrying, being upset. Please, don't talk about it yet." I said, hoping to god he took my words into consideration and just dropped it for now. I didn't have the answers for myself, let alone for him.

**AN – you know the drill :-) reviews are very much appreciated**

**Do you wanna know the sex of the baby? Review then. :p**


	11. It's a

**AN – I got a big complaint on the last chapter about me asking for a certain number of reviews. I just wanted to say I do that to try to give me more time to write these chapters, and yeah, I love reviews. It might be immature, but I am only 19. Not exactly old, and for those who know me, I am most certainly not mature.**

**Oh, thank you to drtammy1512 – for the information about size and what not. :) just to put your mind at rest, the baby is fine! Just a little late in starting to move. :)**

**Thank you to everyone who did review, because you guys rock, and not one of you apart from the complaint said something derogatory towards me. This chapter is for you, my lovelies reviewers. **

**Just to reiterate my point:**

**DO NOT ADD ME TO ALERTS AND FAVS WITHOUT REVIEWING OR I WILL GO INCREDIBLE HULK ON YOU! It is my pet peeve, and you seriously don't want me Incredible Hulk-ing. Seriously.**

**Ok, we're starting here with Edward's POV of the last chapter, and then going back to Bella – just so no one gets confuddled!**

**Edward's POV**

I put my hand on Bella's stomach. She had felt the baby kick a few days ago, and I was desperate to feel it too. This was the part of the pregnancy that I had been waiting for; my first physical interaction with my child.

I frowned, and moved my hand a little bit, before sighing and taking it off again. I know that I probably won't be able to feel it for another few weeks, but maybe I would be lucky. So far my luck had been pretty damned good.

"Ok, come on Bella, we need to get to the hospital or we're going to be late"

She looked at the clock and then raised her eyebrows at me. We had 45 minutes to get to the hospital, I knew that, but I was impatient to get there. I know she was looking forward to it too.

By the time we actually got in the car we only had 30 minutes to get there, so I was glad that I had made Bella get up when I did. I can understand why she wanted to stay in bed for a bit longer though. We didn't get a lot of sleep last night...

Bella leaned back in the car and slung one leg over mine, and pulled out the diary that she had been writing in for a while. I hadn't asked to read it; because I had one of my own that I would be too terrified to let Bella read sometimes. I was scared about this baby.

After about 5 minutes I looked back up at her to see her looking...sad.

"What's wrong love?"

She hesitated, looking back down at her diary and then back at me. Then she handed it to me.

_I had not expected that_.

I read it once, then twice, and then by the third time I still didn't know what to say.

"Bella..."

"Edward" she cut me off "I don't want to have that conversation just yet, ok? I am happy that we're having this child. I'm just being a normal first time mother, worrying, being upset. Please, don't talk about it yet."

_Well that's good, because I have no idea what to say to that. I thought she'd be angry because I was scared about this, but she's feeling exactly the same way._

**Bella's POV**

After being made to drink another ridiculous amount of water, and swearing to myself that if I ever had to drink this much again, I'd kill whoever suggested it, I sat on the bed waiting for the nurse to come in. Carlisle was going to try to make it, but he was called to a consult about 30 minutes earlier, so he couldn't promise he'd be here.

Edward sat next to me and pulled me against his chest and stroked my hair.

Then he spoke for the first time since I showed him my diary.

"I'm scared too, Bella. Ridiculously scared. I have no idea what to do. I'm scared I'm going to fuck this child up. But we're doing this together, and remember what I said Bella? When you went cliff-diving"

'_We can do anything Love. As long as it's together'_

I nodded against his chest, and let the tears roll down.

The door opened, and in walked Carlisle with the nurse. Carlisle smiled at us gently, almost as if to let us know that he understood exactly what was happening.

"Ok Bella, this is your second ultrasound, correct?"

I nodded, biting my bottom lip. I'm sure that Edward was as nervous as I was at this particular moment.

"Ok, if you'd like to lie back, push your jeans down about 2 inches, and pull your top up to your chest, we'll get started."

I did ask she said, and winced at the cool gel was squirted onto my abdomen. I barely noticed the strain on my bladder as she pushed down this time; I was too concentrated on watching Carlisle's face as he watched the screen.

The nurse clicked and measured, all the while typing notes. Finally, she turned to me and asked if I'd like to see.

I just nodded frantically, desperate to see my child.

The nurse spun the monitor around so that I could see the screen and smiled at me.

"If you see there, that's the feet and legs" she moved the mouse to point at the top of the screen "there is its head, and if you look closely, you can see it sucking its thumb."

I looked up at Edward who was staring at the screen in awe. I reached up and stroked his cheek gently. He look down and me, and leant in, placing a soft kiss on the side of my mouth, then slid his head down so that his cheek was resting on mine. He lifted his hand, still intertwined with mine, up to his chest.

"Ok, kids. Did you want to know the sex?" Carlisle spoke up after a couple of minutes.

I looked up at Edward, and nodded at him.

"We'd love to know, Dad" he answered the question for me.

x-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------x

We hopped out of the car as when we pulled back up to the Cullen's house, still looking in amazement at the ultrasound pictures, finding new things each time we looked. Our baby had all its fingers and toes, and you could see its tiny nose.

I felt it kick again, and grabbed Edward's hand; placing it on the spot I could feel it.

His mouth dropped open, and the sides of his lips curled up in a smile.

"I... I can feel it! I can feel it Dad!" he said, calling out to Carlisle, before he turned to me "I can feel it, Bella..." he whispered, grinning like a fool.

It was my turn to pull him toward me. I wrapped my arms around his chest, kissed his neck while his hand stayed on my stomach, hoping it would kick again.

**Edward's POV**

I sat next to Bella on the hospital bed waiting for the nurse to come back in and do the damned ultrasound already. It was absolute hell, waiting for her to come back.

I looked at Bella, who was looking at the sheets on the bed. I pulled her against my chest, enjoying the feel of her body against me.

I decided I had to say it. I couldn't let my Bella beat herself up over feeling like this, when I was feeling exactly the same way.

"I'm scared too, Bella. Ridiculously scared. I have no idea what to do. I'm scared I'm going to fuck this child up. But we're doing this together, and remember what I said Bella? When you went cliff-diving"

I had told her that we could do anything, as long as we were together. It was true, it still is. Together we were stronger than any fear that could try to take us over.

I could feel her tears staining my shirt, soaking through, but I continued to hold her, stroked her hair. She and this child are my everything; there is nothing that can change that.

The door opened, and in walked Carlisle with the nurse. Carlisle smiled, and knowing my father, he knew exactly what was happening, and he understood. That was just the way Carlisle was.

"Ok Bella, this is your second ultrasound, correct?" the nurse asked.

Bella nodded, and bit her bottom lip. She only did that when she was nervous, and I too, was terrified at this moment.

"Ok, if you'd like to lie back, push your jeans down about 2 inches, and pull your top up to your chest, we'll get started."

Bella did that, and I smiled at her stomach. She really was beautiful, even as she got bigger. I just hoped that I could show her that. Bella winced as the cool gel was squirted onto her abdomen.

The nurse clicked and measured, all the while typing notes. Eventually, she turned to Bella and I, and asked if we'd like to see.

Bella nodded frantically, making me smile and nod once.

The nurse spun the monitor around so that we could see the screen and smiled at Bella.

"If you see there, that's the feet and legs" she moved the mouse to point at the top of the screen "there is its head, and if you look closely, you can see it sucking its thumb."

I was staring at the screen, watching my baby as it moved. Bella reached up and stroked my cheek gently. I look down at her, and leant in; placing a soft kiss on the side of her mouth, then slid my head down so that her cheek was resting on mine.

"Ok, kids. Did you want to know the sex?" Carlisle spoke up after a couple of minutes.

I looked at Bella, who smiled and nodded at me.

"We'd love to know, Dad" I answered.

"Ok, if you look here, you can see that it's a girl. Congratulations Edward, Bella. You're having a baby girl"

_A girl... I'm going to be a daddy to a baby girl._

I couldn't be any happier in that moment.

**AN – Ok, it was short, but I have to go out.**

**Again:  
DO NOT ADD ME TO ALERTS AND FAVS WITHOUT REVIEWING OR I WILL GO INCREDIBLE HULK ON YOU! It is my pet peeve, and you seriously don't want me Incredible Hulk-ing. Seriously.**

**I would like to get to 480 reviews for this. I know we can do it. 500 would make me fucking ecstatic though, and I'd probably write a super doper sweet chapter for you all. But 480 is the goal :)**


	12. Lullaby for a Stormy Night

**AN – DO NOT ADD ME TO ALERTS AND FAVS WITHOUT REVIEWING OR I WILL GO INCREDIBLE HULK ON YOU! It is my pet peeve, and you seriously don't want me Incredible Hulk-ing. Seriously.**

**On a happier note; thank you all for your amazing response to the last chapter. I really do appreciate them, even if I didn't get to reply to all of them.**

**I do not own Twilight, or the song used in this chapter - Lullaby for a Stormy Night - Vienna Teng**

**Bella's POV**

We walked into the house only to be nearly bowled over by a bouncy Alice, and Jasper trying to catch her. I giggled as she came to a complete stop, a massive grin spreading over her face as she saw me.

"Bella! Oh how'd it go? Come on. I went shopping today and bought some things you HAVE to see!"

Alice took my hand and pulled me along, remarkably slowly for Alice.

Jasper gave me a look and quietly asked "how did you do that?! I've been trying to get her to sit down for 2 hours now!"

I grinned a little at Jasper.

"It's all in the baby. Get yourself pregnant Jasper and she'll bend to your every whim, watch this..."

I stopped walking and let go of Alice's hand.

"Alice...could you please get me a glass of water. I'm feeling a bit nauseous for moving so quickly..." ok, so that was a complete lie, but I was proving a point to Jasper.

Alice walked to the kitchen and returned about a minute later with a dry cracker and a glass of water, motioning for me to sit down.

Jasper looked dumbfounded as he watched Alice moved at a normal pace and not giggle once.

"Are you ok? Did you want to lie down?"

"I'm fine, just needed to sit for a moment" I grinned at Jasper who looked like he was about to pass out. It's not that Alice is inconsiderate; she's just so hyperactive all the time that it's hard to keep up with her or keep her still and quiet for more than 5 seconds.

I stood up again and turned to Alice.

"Ok, so what is it you wanted to show me?"

Alice smiled and started to walk and talk.

"Well...we went shopping today as I said and..." we stopped outside a room down the hall from Edward and my room.

She opened the door, and I gasped.

Inside was a beautiful white crib with lace trimmings, and a small mattress. There was a white baby blanket in the crib. In the corner was a matching white rocking chair and change table.

"You like?" Alice was grinning like a 5 year old now as I looked around the room. It was picture perfect, and even though I was only about half way through, it seemed right to have something set up.

"I...love it!"

Alice grinned and closed the door again.

"You can ogle later, for now; we have some talking to do!"

x-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------x

**Edward's POV**

Bella's mother was coming down in less than a week, and Esme was fussing over the guest room to make sure everything was ready. Bella had assured my mother that she really didn't need to do that and that her mother really wasn't that fussy, but Esme had insisted. I think secretly she just enjoyed to organise these things. It was what made my mother feel comfortable, and I wasn't going to stop her doing that.

Charlie was coming for dinner tonight as well, it had been a while since he and Bella had seen each other, even though they'd talked on the phone a lot; it was still a bit awkward. Bella was nervous, I could see it in the way she fidgeted with the sleeves of her shirt and paced.

"Bella... calm down love, it'll be fine I promise."

x-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------x

About an hour later I came out of the shower to find Bella not in our room, where she had been when I left, and started to panic, before I looked.

I walked downstairs to the kitchen to see if she was in there, then the lounge room, to no avail. Finally I heard a soft voice coming from the nursey.

I opened the door quietly to see Bella sitting in the rocking chair, a hand on her stomach, singing a song I didn't recognise softly.

_**Little child, be not afraid  
The rain pounds harsh against the glass  
Like an unwanted stranger  
There is no danger  
I am here tonight**_

**_Little child  
Be not afraid  
Though thunder explodes  
And lightning flash  
Illuminates your tearstained face  
I am here tonight_**

**_And someday you'll know  
That nature is so  
This same rain that draws you near me  
Falls on rivers and land  
And forests and sand  
Makes the beautiful world that you see  
In the morning_**

**_Little child  
Be not afraid  
The storm clouds mask your beloved moon  
And its candlelight beams  
Still keep pleasant dreams  
I am here tonight_**

**_Little child  
Be not afraid  
The wind makes creatures of our trees  
And the branches to hands  
They're not real, understand  
And I am here tonight_**

**_And someday you'll know  
That nature is so  
This same rain that draws you near me  
Falls on rivers and land  
And forest and sand  
Makes the beautiful world that you see  
In the morning_**

**_For you know, once even I  
Was a little child  
And I was afraid  
But a gentle someone always came  
To dry all my tears  
Trade sweet sleep the fears  
And to give a kiss goodnight_**

**_Well, now I am grown  
And these years have shown  
Rain's a part of how life goes  
But it's dark and it's late  
So I'll hold you and wait  
'til your frightened eyes do close_**

**_And I hope that you'll know  
That nature is so  
This same rain that draws you near me  
Falls on rivers and land  
And forests and sand  
Makes the beautiful world that you see  
In the morning_**

**_Everything's fine in the morning  
The rain will be gone in the morning  
But I'll still be here in the morning_**

She finished singing, and I could see silent tears running down her cheeks. I walked to her, and knelt next to the chair.

"Bella...are you alright?"

She looked down at me and smiled, and I saw happiness in her eyes, rather than grief.

"I'm better than alright Edward. I heard that lullaby the other day, and I haven't been able to get it out of my head...Charlotte stops kicking when I sing it...it's like it calms her down."

"What is it?"

"Lullaby for a Stormy Night. It's by Vienna Teng."

I placed my hand on Bella's stomach, and lay my head on her leg.

"It's going to be alright. You know I will do anything for you and my baby girl don't you?"

Bella said nothing. Instead she ran one hand through my hair, and started humming again.

**AN – a bit of fluff there, leading up to the next chapter, which will involve Bella's mom and dad. I hope you all liked it, and the aim for this chapter is to get to 550 reviews. That really shouldn't be too hard :)**

**Everyone should get that lullaby and listen to it. It will seriously make you cry.**

**DO NOT ADD ME TO ALERTS AND FAVS WITHOUT REVIEWING OR I WILL GO INCREDIBLE HULK ON YOU! It is my pet peeve, and you seriously don't want me Incredible Hulk-ing. Seriously.**


	13. Monopoly

**AN – The beginning of this is in Renee's POV. I don't know why, but to me it seemed important that we see how she is thinking/feeling about this whole situation.**

**Renee's POV**

It had taken me up until a few days ago to accept that my daughter was pregnant. I hadn't been angry at her; it was just difficult to think of my baby girl having a child of her own. It seemed like just yesterday that I was bringing her home from the hospital.

I stepped off the plane, onto the wet asphalt, and was immediately cold and wet.

_This is why I didn't stay in Washington._

Charlie was getting me from this airport, and taking me to stay with him, in Bella's old room. This was going to be awkward. No, more than awkward. I racked my brain for a word to describe how awkward this would be, but came up with nothing.

I walked to the pick up area of the airport with my single duffle bag, and spotted the ominous police cruiser that was so very Charlie.

It wasn't that we did get along anymore. We just didn't talk. Whenever we did, the conversation was filled with silences and 'yeah...so....'

I walked up to the car and tapped on the window, forcing a smile as he leant over to unlock the door.

"Hi Charlie..."

"Ren... how you doing?"

_How am I doing? Scared shitless...terrified of being a grandma...nervous about being in the same car as you again...the list goes on..._

"I'm fine I think..."

_Yup, that's a good answer._

"Have you talked to Bell's yet?"

"Yeah...she called me just after her ultrasound. Has she told you yet?"

Charlie grinned and looked over at me quickly.

"Yeah she has. I'm actually excited now. I never thought I'd be this excited to see my teenage daughter pregnant. But I'm going be Pop to a baby girl... it makes it all more real, you know?"

"Mmm yeah... I do..."

I looked out the window, thinking about how miserable this place was, whilst trying to fight off the suffocating feeling that came with being back here.

"Are you looking forward to dinner tonight?"

I raised my eyebrows at Charlie.

_Am I looking forward to the awkward conversation with my daughter's boyfriend's family? Are you serious? Oh god...I sound far to much like Bella..._

"Not really... are you?"

Charlie smirked. "Yeah ok, so that was a bit of a stupid question...I'm not looking forward to it either. I haven't actually seen Bella since the night she told me. We've talked over the phone, but I guess I was avoiding having to go through that. Looks like I can't avoid it much longer."

I just smiled and turned out to look at him. He really hadn't changed a bit. Don't get me wrong, I would never go there again, I am happy with Phil; more than happy. Sometimes I just wonder what things would be like now if I had never left.

**Bella's POV**

I was running around the house trying to get things organised for the dinner. Edward was watching on, following me around like a sick puppy, making sure I didn't hurt myself. It was sweet really, just he was getting in the way, and I was at my wits end already.

"Edward, for Christ's sake! Would you stop following me?! You're getting in the way and I have so much to do for tonight that I don't have time for you to pander me and make sure I don't fall over!"

The moment the words came out of my mouth, I regretted them. Edward's face turned from one of concern to devastation in 0.001 of a second, and he nodded, turning away.

_Fucking hormones._

I took a deep breath before walking after him.

"Edward, wait. I'm sorry, you know I didn't mean that...well...I did mean the part about having a lot to do. But I didn't mean to take my frustration out on you..."

Edward looked at me, watching my eyes as I spoke. I could see him trying to determine how upset I was. He hated me upset, about as much as I hated seeing him upset.

He took a step toward me, placing a hand on my cheek, smiling slightly.

"Bella, it's ok. You don't need to apologise. I do need to stop worrying so much, I know. You're perfectly capable, even though your coordination does leave much to be desired, you're a perfectly capable person. I just wish I could help out with more...you're not going to let me do anything though, are you?"

My first instinct was to say no, that he wasn't allowed to exert himself, but I could see his eyes begging me to let him help with ANYTHING.

Sighing I said, "you can help me clean the dining room..."

"Didn't you already clean that last night?"

"Yes I cleaned it LAST NIGHT! Before dinner! Now it's had people in it!"

Edward took my hand and dragged me to the bedroom.

"Bella, sit."

I glared at him, but sat on the edge of the bed anyway.

"What?"

"You need to calm down. You're stressing far too much about this, and it's going to be ok. Your parents are going to be here to see you, not to examine how clean the house is. Why are you so worried about this? You seemed fine when we first organised this..."

"I don't know...I guess I just hadn't really thought about this properly until recently. I know my mom isn't angry, but do you actually think she's going to be happy about this? And well...dad didn't exactly take it all that well either."

"Bella, you have talked to both of them since then, and has either one of them ever done anything to make you think that they're really angry with you?"

I thought about it for a moment before shaking my head. No, they hadn't. It didn't stop me from worrying though it did make it a bit better.

"Come on. We need to get changed, they'll be here soon anyway, and I want to leave time for Alice to change you three times before deciding you're wearing something acceptable."

Suddenly, as he walked to the dresser, I found myself with the courage to ask him what had been on my mind for the past few months.

"Edward...do you still want me? Physically I mean..."

He turned to look at me, and his eyes widened as if I had just grown a second head.

"Are you crazy Bella? Of course, I still want you physically! Why on earth would you think otherwise?"

"Well..." _Oh god this is more awkward than the first conversation we ever had about sex... _"We haven't had sex since we found out I was pregnant..."

Edward looked down, pinched the bridge of his nose, sighing before looking up at me again. He walked over to the bed, and sat down next to me, one leg underneath him.

"Bella...I just don't know if it's a good idea to have sex while you're pregnant."

"Why? I want it! So much! It's sending me insane!"

I said this before I even thought about it, and cringed as I realised what I had just said.

"What if I hurt you? Or the baby? I don't know anything about this Bella...I don't want to risk it when we don't know what could happen..."

"Well...why don't we ask the OB-GYN?"

Edward looked at me incredulously.

"I don't want to talk to some stranger about my sex life?"

"Edward...they kind of already know we have sex..." I said, motioning to my swollen belly.

"Regardless, Bella..."

I sighed. I was getting frustrated. I could understand that he didn't want to hurt me or the baby. That was just Edward. But I wasn't going to go the next 20 weeks without an orgasm; especially when my hormones were making me want it more than ever.

"What about Carlisle then? Ask him."

Edward could hear the finality in my tone. It was either asking Carlisle, or asking the OB-GYN.

"Fine...I'll talk to Carlisle tonight, after your parents leave. Do you have any idea how embarrassing an awkward this conversation is going to be?"

I grinned at the thought, but quickly wiped it off my face as I saw Edward glaring at me. Unfortunately, I couldn't keep the expression off entirely, and Edward growled at me, before pushing me down on the bed by my shoulders. He looked at me longingly for a moment, before giving me a soft kiss.

"I'll talk to Carlisle tonight, I promise"

He kissed the side of my mouth before getting up, and starting to get changed.

x-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------x

At exactly 6 pm there was a tentative knock on the front door. I stood up from my seat on the lounge, smoothed out the non-existent creases in my dress, and walked to answer the door, Edward by my side.

I took a deep breath, put on my best smile, and opened the door to a very nervous looking mom and dad. Mum was holding a silver wrapped gift with a little pink bow on the top.

"Hi mom" I gave her a hug before turning to dad.

"Hey dad..." I said awkwardly.

"Renee, Charlie; it's good to see you again. Why don't you both come in?" Edward said, smiling genuinely.

I mentally slapped myself for not thinking about the fact we were all still standing in the doorway as we walked through to the lounge room.

Esme and Carlisle stood up, and greeted my parents, while Edward and I walked back over to Alice, Jasper, Rose, and Emmett, who were sitting on the floor playing monopoly, rather competitively. Emmett slammed his piece (the cannon, go figure) down on the free parking space, and scooped up the money in the middle of the board with a loud resounding "YES!" and earning himself a glare from Alice, who was 7 spaces away from free parking.

After another round of monopoly, in which Edward won by a long shot, Esme came out to tell us all that dinner was ready. So far Mom and Dad had spent the time talking to Esme and Carlisle, but I knew it was my turn soon, and I was getting more nervous by the second, because once dinner was over, I wouldn't be able to avoid it anymore. Alice, Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett were going out to a party, and it would just be Edward and I with the parents.

**AN – ok, this wasn't where I was gonna end it, but I was getting peeved at how long it was taking me. So in the next chapter we have some parental Deep and Meaningful conversation, some Edward and Carlisle awkward talk about sex, AND if you're lucky, some lemony goodness between none other than our Edward and Bella.**

**Thank you**


	14. Conversations

**AN - Ok guys, I'm going to have to say I'll update at 675 reviews this time. That means 60 reviews for this chapter. What do you reckon? I need the time :p LOL. More than that would be fantastic, but I'll update ASAP after 675? Thank you.**

**Thank you to erickandedward4ever for the 600th review, and nessa19, for a close 601st review.**

**This chapter is dedicated to meilzdoggg01, and her story, Never Letting You Go, which has currently been stopped because of one reviewer in particular, who saw it necessary to leave reviews such as "just stop writing". I hope you will all join me in hoping she decides to start writing again.**

***snicker* the conversation between Edward and Carlisle was so fun to write, so I hope you all like it too :D**

**Bella's POV**

The end of dinner came all too quickly, and Alice, Jasper, Rosalie, and Emmett left with an encouraging hug.

Now we were all sitting back in the lounge room, awkwardly trying to avoid eye contact with anyone else in the room.

"Oh, Bella" Esme spoke up first.

_Oh fuck me..._

"Yup?"

"Did you show Renee and Charlie the ultrasound prints yet?" she asked, grinning. Esme had already framed one of them and put it in her room, so it didn't surprise me that she wanted to share.

"Erm...no? Did you guys want to see it?" I asked, turning to Mom and Dad.

Mom nodded enthusiastically, and Charlie smiled and said "yes".

I grinned as I realised that my parents weren't as against this as I had assumed they were. Getting up, I walked to the kitchen were a copy of the ultrasound was held to the fridge by a magnet. I paused for a moment, staring at the picture. There was my baby. You could see the shape of a baby, just smaller. All the limbs and you could make out the fingers and toes if you looked close enough. I had asked Carlisle how he could tell it was a girl because I couldn't see anything. I had laughed when he pointed out the lack of a penis as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

Shaking myself out of the memory, I changed my grin to a small smile and walked back to the lounge room.

I handed the picture to Mom first, and her face lit up as she saw her grandchild for the first time.

"Oh, Bella! She's amazing!"

I let out a small laugh at this, and I suddenly felt five pairs of eyes on me. I saw Edward looking amused, but a little confused.

"What's funny Bella?" He asked.

_Um..._

"Well, a couple of hours ago I was terrified I was about to be yelled at for being pregnant, and now I'm watching my mother coo over a picture of Charlotte."

"You're naming her Charlotte?" Charlie said at the same time as Carlisle said "Charlotte?"

Both of them had smiles that could rival my happiness at this moment.

"Well...yes. We thought it was close to both your names, and we're trying to decide on a middle name at the moment that is close to both your names, Esme and Mom, but that's more difficult than we thought it would be..."

"You thought we'd be angry? Oh, Bella. Of course we were upset at first, you're our baby girl. It was always going to be hard for us to accept that you're going to have a baby of your own. But I don't think I could be happier now. I can't wait to be a grandmother, despite the fact it's scaring me to think that I'm going to be a grandmother this early in life."

I looked at dad, hoping he had something to say.

"Um...yeah. Me too."

From Charlie, this was a big statement, and told me he was ok now. That he and I would be ok.

"Oh, and Bella, we bought you and Edward a present. We found it when we were in Port Angeles earlier today, and it's absolutely perfect."

Mom passed me the wrapped present that she was holding earlier but I had completely forgotten about until now.

I unwrapped it to reveal the most beautiful intricate baby blanket I had ever seen. It was crocheted with ribbon woven through the edge of it. The white seemed to glitter, and the light pink ribbon was tied in small bows at each corner.

X----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------X

**Edward's POV**

Charlie and Renee left at about 10pm, and Bella had gone to bed to read her book for English. I'm sure she's already read it at least 5 times, but that was just Bella. If she liked a book, she could read it again and again, and still find something new and interesting about it.

I waited until Carlisle went into his study and I followed him. I was starting to get nervous about having to ask my father about sex, of all things, but reality is, I was sexually frustrated as hell, and Bella had made it clear that she was about a thousand times worse than me at the moment. It made sense really, what with her hormones raging and all.

"Carlisle, I was wondering if I could talk to you about something..." I said as I closed the door behind me.

I turned to see him sit down and smile at me.

"Of course you can. What can I help you with?"

_Oh god, this is awkward. How do I start this?_

"Can Bella and I have sex?"

I cringed as I heard the words tumble out of my mouth before I could stop myself.

Carlisle raised his eyebrows in surprise.

"What?" he said, with a laugh in his voice.

"Well..." _fuck me, why is this so hard? I've had sex before, he knows this. Why can't he jsut figure out what I want to know and tell me? Read my mind damn it Carlisle..._

After a few moments waiting for Carlisle to figure it out himself, I continued.

"Well, Bella's pregnant, and we haven't had sex since we found out, and now Bella is making me talk to you about this" I put a lot of emphasis on the word making. I could definitely go without this conversation.

Carlisle nodded, telling me silently to continue, probably so he could figure out what on earth I was talking about.

"I haven't been...making advances...because I'm worried that by having sex with her, I might hurt the baby, and that's the last thing I want to happen. I don't want to hurt her either. So now she's making me ask you; is it ok for her and I to have sex while she's pregnant?"

Carlisle smiled and nodded again, before turning to his computer.

"Edward, there are a few risked involved in having sex while she's pregnant, but overall, I'd personally say the benefits outweigh the risks"

_Wow, that was far too much information right there, thank you._

"I'll print you out a little information, but like I said, it should be perfectly safe. I don't believe that Bella is a high risk pregnancy, so really there are no major problems I can think of. However, if she says it hurts or is bleeding, I need you both to come to me immediately, and I'll take you to the hospital. Other than that, you can read through this."

He handed me a large stack of paper that he had just printed out. I flicked through it quickly looking at the titles on each piece of paper. The were general things like 'All You Need to Know About Sex During Pregnancy' and...

_Positions for Sex during Pregnancy... Carlisle Cullen, you don't need to give me information on that! Ew!_

"Um...yeah. Thanks Dad."

I got up and walked out. As I closed the door I could have sworn I heard him chuckling.

**AN – ok, so review if you want lemons in the next chapter.**

**Aim is 675. :-)**


	15. Wow Uhuh

**AN – I have to thank heralice09 and meilzdoggg01 for their priceless help on this. Without them, this would NEVER have gotten out. I was stuck on one sentence for half an hour before Meilz came to the rescue, and rewrote it for me, so thank you!**

**Btw guys, all your reviewers and reader rock my awesome coloured mismatching socks! Reviews really do make my day, and as you can see, make me update. :D**

**Edward's POV**

I walked up the stairs to Bella's and my bedroom. Pausing for a moment outside the door, I took a deep breathe, and walked in, trying to keep the raging hormones that were threatening to have me jump Bella there and then in check.

She looked up from her position on the bed, where she sat, cross-legged, in nothing but a pair of undies and a tight t-shirt, showing off her amazing body as it grew. She was truly beautiful, and it was taking all my strength not to ravish her there.

"How'd it go?" she asked, smiling gently.

"Awkwardly. I am never doing that again."

Bella raised an eyebrow at me.

_Oh right, she wants to know the verdict._

"I learnt a bit too much about my father, but he said that it's fine for us to have sex." I said, grinning down at her.

Bella's face lit up the instant I said that, and she placed the book on the side table, before kneeling up on the bed, grabbing my shirt and pulling me toward her, and sucking my bottom lip into her mouth, giving it a little nibble before letting it go and licking my bottom lip. I opened my mouth for her, and began caressing her tongue with mine.

I climbed onto the bed, kneeling in front of her, and pulling her to straddle my lap.

"Bella, have I ever told you how beautiful you are?"

Bella grinned, and kissed me before saying, "mmm...quite frequently..."

I grinned, and kissed her again; running my hand softly down her back, lingering at the small of her back, before tracing patterns along the skin bared between the hem of her shirt, and her undies. Bella shivered under my touch. The small of her back always was one of her most sensitive parts.

Bella lifted the hem of my shirt, and slowly pulled it up. I lifted my arms for her, letting her pulled it off and discard it by throwing it somewhere in the corner of the room.

She scraped her finger nails lightly down my chest, and nibbled on my earlobe. I let out a deep moan and all but ripped her shirt up. Her arms flew up automatically, letting me get it off.

Bella giggled softly as I pushed her back so she was lying down. I looked over her body, taking in the amazing sight laid before me.

I kissed from her neck, to her breasts, and sucked in one nipple, biting it gently, making Bella let out the softest, most erotic moan I'd ever heard.

I did the same to her other breast, as I ran my hand up along her creamy thigh to her hip. I left a trail of small nips and kisses down her stomach, stopping just above her underwear. She sighed as I pulled them effortlessly down and let out a soft moan when I blew cool air onto her glistening wet folds.

I flicked out my tongue against her clit, and she bucked her hips against my mouth, causing me to smile.

I sucked her clit into my mouth, rolling it between my tongue and while I let my fingers stroke at her entrance. Slowly I slid two fingers into her.

**Bella's POV**

Edward slid two fingers into me, and I could definitely say in that moment, that being pregnant makes sex impossibly better. It had always been great, but the feel of Edward's fingers moving inside of me while he licked and sucked out my clit was bringing me closer and closer to orgasm faster than ever.

"Oh god Edward..." I moaned out as he slid his fingers back out of me and stopped working on making me orgasm for him "why the hell are you stopping?" I was about to get amazingly pissed off at me as he licked off his fingers and kissed me with a lot more force this time.

"I want you Bella"

I bit my bottom lip, and let out a moan. I fucking loved it when he said stuff like that.

I undid his pants, and sat up pushed him back so that he was sitting with his back against the headboard of the bed. I pulled his pants off, taking his boxer briefs with them.

The size of him never ceases to amaze me. I took him in my hand, and gently stroked him up and down, watching Edward's face as I did this. His eyes widened for a moment, before clenching shut. His lips parted slightly, and I leaned down to kiss them.

I stopped stroking him and moved up so that I was positioned just above his length, and I lowered myself onto him and he kissed me and massaged my breast.

I started moving up and down, the feel of Edward in me was enough to nearly send me over the edge, but I was determined to hold on a little bit longer than that.

Edward opened his eyes, and looked into mind.

I gazed into his eyes, and let myself go.

My whole body tingled, and my fingers and toes curled. My walls clenched around Edward as I moved faster.

"Fuck!" I cried out as I came around him.

I felt Edward's hips buck up wildly as he spilt his seed into me.

I slowed down my movement before stopping completely and just laying against Edward's chest, trying to catch my breath.

After a few minutes Edward broke the silence.

"Wow..."

"Uhuh..." was all I could manage to reply with.

We lay like that for half an hour, before I finally decided I should probably move off of him.

I rolled myself so that I was lying on my side, one leg draped over Edward's legs, my head against his chest.

"Edward?"

"Yes love?"

"That was hands down the most amazing sex we've ever had, and if you ever say that you're not going to do that again, I will cut off your balls, and feed them to the dog."

Edward looked at me, smirking with one eyebrow raised "we don't have a dog..."

**AN – omg thank Christ. It's there. You like? Review please! Aim is 750. Special mentions will go to the 700****th**** and 750****th**** reviews in the next chapter :) there will also be a mention for the best review! :) I have decided to make this reviewing stuff fun :D**

**Love you all! xx**


	16. Birthday Surprises

**THANKS TO INSATIABLE06 FOR MAKING THIS LESS OF A MESS!**

**AN – this chapter is dedicated to algonquinrt, you should all check out her amazing stories.**

**Also, there is a fic I love at the moment, but the(dot)lamb(dot)loves(dot)the(dot)lion called Midnight's Horizon. I'd love for you to go and read that if you get a chance!**

**Ok, as I said last chapter, I would like to give a special mention to reviewer 750 – hamistasty, reviewer 700 – signkat, and finally, the best review for last chapter goes to Kellie Stults! **

**Thank you all for reviewing last chapter, and I'd just like to say sorry that I wasn't able to reply to all of them. I did try, but it became somewhat impossible. I have created a livejournal to answer the most FAQ about my fics, it also now has PICTURES of the crib, rocking chair, and baby blanket featured in this story. The link to that is on my profile.**

**On with the chapter.**

_**September 13**__**th**_

**Edward's POV**

It was Bella's birthday. Alice and I had been up since 6 am organising everything, getting the house ready for her surprise.

She didn't want me to do anything, but as always, Alice and I had gone against her wishes. It was her 18th birthday after all, and there was no way we were going to let this important occasion go by without celebrating it.

The lounge room had been transformed into one big open space, with a table the table and small coffee table on the far wall.

Alice had insisted on this to give her all the presents that everyone had bought her. I, on the other hand, had opted for a more private present that I'm sure she would love.

I heard movement upstairs, and knew that Bella had just gotten up the first time to go to the toilet this morning. She would go back to bed and lie there for another half an hour, before getting up. I began to cook the chocolate chip pancake mix that I had made earlier, whilst frying the eggs and bacon in another pan on the stove. I flicked on the kettle, knowing that I had to time this perfectly if I were to get it up to her before she got up. I looked at the clock, realising I only had about 10 minutes to finish this off.

This wasn't my present to her, but I wanted to make her a nice breakfast anyway, and she had been craving chocolate chip everything, and eggs for the past month, so I knew that she would like this.

Putting the two teaspoons of sugar in her tea, and a splash of milk, I placed that on the tray, before carefully arranging the bacon and eggs in a smiley face, and putting a dollop of cream on the pancakes. I filled up a glass of orange juice as well as the cup of tea, in case she didn't feel like tea, and carried it upstairs to her.

I opened the door too find Bella sitting up in bed, looking out the window. She turned around and smiled at me.

"Mmm...I think I should have birthdays more often if you're going to feed me," she said, eyeing the tray in my hand.

"Oh. What, is this? This is from Alice. I was just coming by to check you were up." I said, jokingly.

Bella glared at me, silently threatening to kill me.

"Give me the tray Edward..."

I grinned at her, placing the tray on her lap, kissing her nose as I sat.

"Happy birthday my love," I said, grinning as I watched her devour the chocolate chip pancakes.

She swallowed at looked up at me suspiciously.

"Oh god, you got me a present didn't you? Edward I told you not to!"

"Bella, it's ok. I can honestly promise you that I spent no more than $20 on this present."

She seemed to be a little bit more ok with me getting a present for her once I told her how little it cost, but still slightly uneasy, so I sat behind him and began rubbing her neck. It was low, I knew that she couldn't stay angry with me when I did this, but quite frankly I had no desire to have my Bella angry on her birthday. Today would be perfect if I had anything to say in the matter.

The day passed without any hassle or dramas really, but I still hadn't given Bella her present. I was waiting until I could get her to myself for half an hour.

**Bella's POV**

By 6 pm, we had finished my birthday dinner of an amazing roast, and I'd been showered with gifts from Rose, Alice, Emmett, and Jasper. Carlisle and Esme had given me a nice dinner set, that I was going to need for when Edward and I moved out, a few months after Charlotte was born. My parents had called, as had half the town's people. Edward, though, still hadn't given me his present and it was making me more nervous by the second.

By 7 pm, I was just getting impatient, and by 8 pm I was ready beat it out of him, but at 8:15, we went up to our bedroom, and eventually, Edward told me to sit for a minute, and he'd be right back. The look on his face gave away that he was about to finally give me this infamous present.

When Edward returned a few minutes later, he was holding a wrapped present, about the size of a text book. I started at it, eyes wide, running through the possibilities of what it could possibly be.

"If the wind changes, your face will stay like that Bella."

I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Happy birthday, my only love." He said handing me the present.

I carefully removed the wrapping. I gasped as I saw what was enclosed within the wrapping paper.

"18 years of Isabella Marie Swan" I read the embroidered cover of the leather bound book out loud.

Opening the book I saw an array of pictures from my childhood. One of me the day that I was born and one of my first day of preschool. Me as in a ballet costume. The day that Edward and I went on our first date. My time overseas. I flicked through quickly to the end, to see a picture of me that was taken 2 days ago, looking down tenderly at my swollen belly, Edward standing proudly next to me, holding me around my shoulders.

My mind ran at a thousand miles an hour.

"Where did you..."

"Your mother and father helped. Esme has been taking photos secretly for the past 3 years waiting for this day. She knew that you would still be here years later, as did I."

Edward sat down next to me on the bed, and pulled out of his pocket, a small box. My heart to race as his opened it, looking deep into my eyes.

"I love you Bella," he started, his voice shaking slightly. "I wish to spend my life with you and this child. Will you do me the honour of spending your life with me, by my side, as my wife?"

**AN – ok, I can honestly say that I had no intentions of writing that in this chapter, but it just came, and I think it worked. What do you think? Reviews are very much loved.**

**A MASSIVE SHOUT OUT TO MEILZDOGGG01 – GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR EXAMS, LOVE!**


	17. Breathless

**AN – thanks to insatiable06 for making this readable.**

**Omigosh guys, I updated less than 24 hours ago, and I'm updating again. I'm on FIRE. This isn't particularly long, really, but I have put some song lyrics in, the song is playing in the background! :-) the song is Breathless – The Corrs. As much as I wish I owned the lyrics, I don't.**

**A massive thank you to EVERYONE who has reviewed so far, I hit 800 reviews last chapter, and I nearly cried I was that happy. Thank you to blueeyes31 for the 800****th**** review.**

**A massive CONGRATULATIONS to meilzdoggg01, for passing her maths exam today. We stayed up extremely late last night, teaching her Pythagoras' theorem, via MSN drawing. **

**Edward's POV**

_**Go on go on  
Leave me breathless  
Come on  
Hey... yeah...**_

I hadn't planned on proposing to her in that moment, but to me it seemed so right. I had the ring, it was Carlisle's grandmother's engagement ring; he'd given it to me the day after he found out Bella was pregnant.

_**The daylight's fading slowly  
The time with you is standing still  
I'm waiting for you only  
The slightest touch and I feel weak  
I cannot lie, from you I cannot hide  
And I'm losing the will to try  
Can't hide it, can't fight it**_

"_I'm not saying to propose to her because she's pregnant, but I know that she is the girl that you will spend the rest of your life with. There is no doubt in my mind of that. You will know when it is the right time, Son. I am so proud of you."_

_**So go on, go on, come on, leave me breathless  
Tempt me, tease me, until I can't deny  
This loving feeling (loving feeling)  
Make me long for your kiss  
Go on, go on **_

I looked at Bella to see her eyes wide, staring at the ring. It was impressive, I'll admit that. It had an oval blue diamond in the centre, flanked on either side by two round clear diamonds, all set in a thin platinum band. The blue diamond was perfect for my Bella. She looked absolutely amazingly beautiful in blue.

_**And if there's no tomorrow  
And all we have is here and now  
I'm happy just to have you  
You're all the love I need somehow  
It's like a dream  
Although I'm not asleep  
And I never want to wake up  
Don't lose it, don't leave it**_

Bella's eyes darted back up to me, down at the ring again, and then back up at me, where she finally rested her eyes.

Bella swallowed nervously, and I bit my bottom lip, mimicking an action Bella performed on a regular basis. My heart was beating a thousand miles an hour waiting for her to say something.

Eventually she opened her mouth a little.

"I...YES! Yes, of course I will..."

_**So go on, go on, come on, leave me breathless  
Tempt me, tease me, until I can't deny  
This loving feeling  
Make me long for your kiss  
Go on, go on  
Yeah...  
Come on**_

Bella flung herself at me, wrapping her arms around my neck, kissing it softly. Eventually I remember that I had to put the ring on her finger yet, so I pushed her away gently, grinning from ear to ear.

I slipped the ring gently out of the box it was encased in. I took Bella's left hand, and slipped the ring gently on. It fit perfectly, and I hadn't even had to get it fitted.

_**And I can't lie  
From you I cannot hide  
And I've lost my will to try  
Can't hide it, can't fight it,  
So go on, go on, come on, leave me breathless  
Tempt me, tease me, until I can't deny  
This loving feeling, make me long for your kiss**_

"Edward...the ring is beautiful, but where did you get it? It looks like it's from the early 1900's..."

I smiled at her gently.

"It was my great grandmother's engagement ring. Carlisle gave it to me a while back, soon after we told him about the baby. He told me to wait, until I knew that it was the right time to ask."

Bella leaned in and kissed me gently, caressing my cheek with her hand.

"Well, you picked the perfect moment," Bella paused for a moment, before continuing, "Does Alice know yet?"

I smirked. _Does Alice know yet?_

"Probably; I wasn't planning to do this today, but it felt so right... but you know Alice, she knows pretty much everything before we do. With the exception of Charlotte here, of course" I said, leaning in to kiss her swollen belly.

Bella's hand ran through my hair, humming the song that we had dubbed 'the lullaby' for Charlotte.

After a few minutes, Bella stopped humming suddenly, causing me to look up at her, alarmed.

"What's wrong Bella?"

"Do my parents know about this?!"

I rolled my eyes.

"Yes, of course they know about this! I asked them both the night that they were here for dinner."

"I was with the lot of you the entire night, how on earth did you manage that?"

"Well, when you went to get the ultrasound prints off the fridge, we all had a very quick discussion. Both your mom and dad agreed completely. I wasn't expecting Renee to agree though, so that was a surprise." I said, remembering the night as I spoke.

_**Flashback**_

_**Bella stood up and left the room, going to get the ultrasounds. It was now or never.**_

"_**Charlie, Renee, I have to ask you this really quickly, I want to ask Bella to marry me. I don't know exactly when yet, but I know that's what I want to do. I want to spend my life with her. I am asking for your blessing."**_

_**I sat and waited for them to answer. Charlie looked gobsmacked and Renee looked simply utterly devastated for a moment.**_

"_**It's ok if you say no, I would understand entirely. Bella is only seventeen after all and..."**_

_**Charlie cut me off before I could finish the sentence.**_

"_**Yes. You're a good man, Edward. You can ask Bella to marry you. I can not **__**guarantee**__** her answer for you though."**_

"_**I would never ask that. Her answer is her choice entirely, and I will be happy, as long as she is," I turned to Renee, who looked panicked "Renee? You don't have to decide now if you don't want to..."**_

_**I heard Bella's footsteps coming back from the kitchen, and smiled quickly at Renee and Charlie, to tell them that the conversation had to end for the moment.**_

_**x-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------x**_

_**Later that night when Renee and Charlie were leaving, Renee pulled me into a hug and whispered in my ear.**_

"_**I can see how much you care for my daughter Edward, and how happy you make her. Of course you have my blessing."**_

_**I kissed Renee's cheek, before letting her go.**_

"_**Thank you," I said softly, stepping back, letting Bella hug her mother goodbye.**_

_**End Flashback**_

**AN – Ok, I apologise for the short length, but how freaking cute is he?! Why is he not real? WHY?!?! I will be doing a podcast in just a little while about this chapter, so drop by and check it out. :-) the link is at the top of my profile!**

**I love reviews!**


	18. Halloween and Toes

**AN – thank you to insatiable06, for making this readable, AND going through and betaing chapters 13-22 in one hit. She's a gem.**

**Sorry this took a while to get up. I finished Close, and started a new fic. Put that together with school work, and family shit, and you have a very busy author. This chapter is just a bit of a light chapter, with a bit more Bella Pregnancy Diary. **

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed last chapter. Award for my favourite review goes to Sapphirepa. Thank you for your lovely review, and welcome to fanfiction.**

_**October 31st**_

**Edward's POV**

I woke to the sound of someone moaning in what sounded like pain from the bathroom. My first instinct was to panic, so I went with that and ran to the bathroom, and burst in to see Bella clutching her foot, sitting on the ground, her face crumpled in pain.

I sank down beside her.

"Bella, what's wrong?"

"Foot...shower...corner...fell...hurts..."

I took the words that I managed to decipher and placed them together.

"You stubbed your foot on the corner of the shower?"

She nodded her head once, and I had to fight back a laugh. It was just so Bella and it was endearing really.

"Ok, show me your foot," I said, gently remove her hand from its position squeezing the toes.

I looked over it once, and almost flinched when I saw her big toe obviously broken, and the two toes next to it already started to swell.

"Ok, stay here. Don't move. I'm going to go wake up Carlisle and get him to have a look. The big toe is obviously broken, but the other two might be as well."

Bella had her jaw clenched in pain, so she simply nodded her compliance. I got up and ran down up the stairs, and burst into Carlisle and Esme's room.

"Oh, holy crap!" I almost screamed, taken in the most disturbing sight I had ever witnessed, before turning around and closing the door.

_Carlisle and Esme having sex... EW EW EW. _

A few minutes later, I still hadn't moved from my spot in the hallway, with my head against the wall, trying desperately to get the image out of my head. The bedroom door opened, and then closed again. I turned to see Carlisle in a pair of pajama pants and his top on inside out.

_Really not helping the image._

"You needed something I'm assuming Edward?" he asked, quirking and eyebrow, obviously annoyed that I had just interrupted.

I nodded, "er...yeah...I think Bella has broken a couple of toes..."

Carlisle rolled his eyes, and held up a finger, telling me to wait a moment, before opening the door and saying something to Esme.

He turned back to me and asked, "how did she manage that?"

"Stubbed her toes on the corner of the shower," I replied quickly.

"With enough force to break a toe?"

I shrugged my shoulders, "it is Bella. She's done worse."

Carlisle smirked and nodded.

**Bella's POV**

Two of my toes were broken, but there wasn't much Carlisle could do other than set them in the right position and strap them. It did mean, though, that I couldn't walk on them for two days while they started to heal. Edward seemed a little bit too pleased about this, and I had shot him a glare when he asked Carlisle if we should leave it for a little longer than two days, just in case.

"You should be grateful, Bella. It's Halloween. By not being able to walk you get out of helping Alice and Rosalie set up for the party." Edward said, grinning at me.

"What if I wanted to help? I was looking forward to it!"

Edward smirked at me, and I felt an urge to hit him, so I sat on my hands. No broken noses today.

"No you weren't. The only thing you were looking forward to was making pumpkin soup, and you can still do that, with my help."

_Stupid over protective family._

I was now seven months pregnant, and effectively immobile.

Edward left me in the bedroom for half an hour while he went to help get breakfast ready. He and Esme were spending more and more time together lately. It was good. They had always been close, but now they were even closer than before, with baby stuff to talk about twenty-four hours a day.

_**Bella's Pregnancy Diary**_

_**I broke two of my toes today. My feet are swollen at the best of times; I do not need to the swelling of broken toes to add to that. **_

_**I am getting really quite sick of being pregnant. Everyone is a thousand times **__**more**__** protective of me then they had been before, and now I'm confined to the bed unless I want Edward or Carlisle to help me around the house.**_

_**Don't get me wrong, I am really looking forward to being a mom now. I love this baby already, and I haven't even seen her. But I wish people would stop treating me like an invalid. I have always been clumsy, but I'm still alive aren't I?**_

_**I am in the 3rd trimester now, and the stretch marks are probably the most difficult thing for me to deal with. I am not as upset by these now though, than I may have been 5 months ago.**_

_**Charlotte has been more active lately. She likes to kick my bladder at times of the night that should not be made aware to mankind.**_

_**She stops kicking when I sing the lullaby to her though. It's almost as if she knows it's me, and it calms her. It has the opposite affect if she's being still too. I suppose it makes her feel safer...better...it can't be that much fun in there. God knows, I'd get bored if I was in a tight space for nine months, that just kept getting smaller.**_

I shut the diary quickly as Edward came in.

"What are you doing?" he said, smiling as he walked in. I held up the diary and showed him.

"Ah. Anything new to report to me?"

I smiled at him as he sat down next to me.

"Nothing you don't already know," I said softly, pulling him toward me by his shirt, and I kissed him gently. "Happy Halloween, Edward."

He grinned back at me. "Happy Halloween to you too, Bella. I have a surprise for you later, and before you tell me I'm not allowed to buy you anything, I didn't."

**AN – Ok, next chapter: Edward's surprise.**

**Oh, do you want to see more of Bella's Pregnancy Diary? There will also be some of Edward's diary soon.**


	19. Sour Lolly Worms and Chicken Stock

**AN – ok, sorry this took so long, massive writer's block just after I posted the last chapter. I tried writing chapters for my other stories to get rid of it, no such luck. It's finally lifted a little to get this chapter to you. It's short, so please forgive me. It is full of awesome content though.**

**The best review for the last chapter was amazingly difficult to pick. There were 5 in the end that I had to choose out of. In the end I chose ****dreamngo4it9****. Thank you for your amazingly long, and complimenting review. I read it and couldn't quite wrap my head around how much you like this story. It made my day/evening.**

**Thank you to Just a Bella for my 900****th**** review. I'm so close to 1000 it's mind boggling.**

**On with the chapter, and I hope you like it.**

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_**Edward's Pregnancy Diary**_

_**Sine this morning, the rest of the day passed in a flurry of Halloween decorations, and pumpkin soup. There was a lot of pumpkin soup. 18 pumpkin head lanterns. Now imagine how much soup there was. I don't mind. Bella love pumpkin soup, and ate 4 bowls of it. She thinks I'm being overprotective, wanting her to lie down, and relax. She might be right, but I just don't want her to hurt herself again. What if she falls over? She could really hurt herself, and Charlotte.**_

_**I have her suprise to give her. She'll have no idea what hit her really. Well I hope not. Unless Alice has accidentally said something. That'd be Alice. Mind you, I'm sure if she had, Bella would have confronted me about it.**_

_**I don't want to write it in here, in case I accidentally leave this around somewhere. I don't think Bella would read it anyway...**_

_**I'm rambling.**_

_**I guess I should write a bit about my 'feelings' so far. Well, to start with, I feel stupid writing about it in a diary, but I want to give this to Bella, when Charlotte is born. And then maybe Charlotte can read it, when she's old enough.**_

_**I'm fucking terrified, to be completely honest with you. Charlotte is going to be my responsibility. I will protect her with my life, I can tell you that much. But what if I'm not good enough? What if Bella sees that I'm not good enough? It's pathetic isn't it? Being scared after all these years with her, that I won't be good enough. I love her and Charlotte with my whole heart. There is nothing I want more in this world now than to be with these too.**_

_**Bella agreed to marry me. I haven't written in here since before then... I can't believe it really. I am going to be marrying the love of my life. We haven't decided on a date yet. But it will be after the birth.**_

_**I should go anyway. Bella is in the kitchen with Alice. She's sitting down, so I doubt much could happen, but I do get nervous, being away for too long. I know it's unlikely, but she could technically go into labour. I don't want to be away from her when that happens.**_

**

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**

Edward's POV

I closed the diary, and slid it into the open drawer of my bedside table. Standing up, I took one look at myself in the mirror, making sure that the tears I had been crying left no physical evidence.

I walked to the kitchen, to find Bella trying to throw sour lolly worms at Alice. She was missing terribly, and one just flew into the open pot on the stove.

I went to fish it out with a ladle, and popped it into my mouth.

"Ew, Edward! That was chicken stock!"

I grinned at Alice, who looked disgusted, and Bella, who looked intrigued.

"Yeah. And it's yummy." I dipped another sour lolly into the stock, and held it out to Alice. "Want some?" I asked, grinning. She looked like she was about to vomit. "Aw what's the matter shrimp?"

"Edward, leave her alone," I heard Jasper's voice come from the doorway.

"I'll eat it! It looks yummy!" Bella said from her spot at the table. I poked my tongue out at Alice and walked over to Bella.

"Open" I commanded, and Bella opened her mouth.

Her eyes opened wide as she chewed.

"WOW! That is really good!"

I grinned at her. Perhaps we were having pregnancy cravings together or something, because Alice and Jasper were looking at us, disgustedly.

x-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------x

Bella and I were sitting alone in the bedroom, waiting for dinner to be ready. She had just woken up from a nap, and was looking at me, intrigued. I was sitting in front of her, with a folder in my hands, looking at her nervously.

"Edward, what is that?" she asked, motioning to the folder.

I handed it to her, biting my lips. She opened it, and I watched her face carefully as she slowly flipped through the papers inside. Her eyes narrowed, as she tried to decipher what the first page was telling her. They widened again as she got to the second page, and then her mouth dropped, when she got to the third.

"You bought a house?!"

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**AN - :O HE WHAT NOW? **

**Ok, I hope you all liked it. Reviews are LOVED. Aim for this chapter is to get to 950.**

**I'd like to ask you to all go read melonjane's stories. You know what, she's a heap better than me, and so much more imaginative. I don't know why she doesn't have more reviews on her stories. So please go read them when you have time :D**

**Ok, remember, aiming for 950. **


	20. Worried

**AN – ok. There are a few things that will be covered in the podcast; I'll just tell you here too.**

**I am sorry, but I did have insane writers block. If I tried to make these longer than they come out to be, they would never get out. What I publish is what I write, minus the bits that make little to no sense. I am sorry if they're not long enough for you, but I'm trying.**

**Lolly worms = gummy worms and chicken stock = broth. And yes, they're both actually somewhat amazingly delicious. You should all try it sometime.**

**Bella's reaction to the house is a mix of what you all predicted, but no one was spot on**

**Jasper wasn't yelling. He was just telling Edward to leave Alice alone, because he was teasing her.**

**OK, best review for last chapter was, again, terribly difficult to choose. In the end though, I chose to give it to ar080185****. Thank you, your review was not only long, but informative, and funny.**** Thank you so much :D**

**On with the chapter.**

**Bella's POV**

"Well, technically Carlisle and Esme bought a house..."

"No, Edward, technically you bought a house, with them backing you because you're under eighteen."

He answered me using a technicality and I was ready to kill him. I'm sure my face was bright red, not from embarrassment, but from anger. How could he do this? I hate having money spent on me and he KNOWS that. This amount of money was just absurd.

I dare myself to glance at the figure that was staring me in the face, beginning me to look, as if I hadn't nearly gone into premature labour the first time.

"Edward this is half a million dollars! Where did you GET the money FROM?"

Edward looked down sheepishly.

"College funds..."

My mouth fell.

"Well what on earth are you going to do about college now then?" I was nearly screaming at him, but how could he be so irresponsible?

"Bella, I had enough to go to Dartmouth three times over. I'm staying with you, and going to university in Washington...."

"You're giving up your dream of Dartmouth? For a house?"

Edward shook his head.

"It's not just a house Bella. Look at the pictures."

I flicked through the papers again, looking for one of pictures. When I found it, my breathing stopped.

It was a wooden cottage, with climbers up the front, framing the windows and door. It had 2 chimneys. And surrounding it, from what I could see, was bright green soft grass, for hundreds, of yards, any way you looked. I could see the woods in the background.

"You bought THIS house?"

Edward bit his lip, nodding. I could tell he was trying to hold back a smile.

This was the house that I had been looking at, pining over for months. I had wanted it the moment I saw it and now Edward had bought it.

"It's for the three of us, Bella. You, me, and Charlotte. Please, don't hate me for this..."

He pleaded with me, and my anger was fast melting away as I looked over the pictures of the interior. I wasn't one for interior design, but I couldn't help but admire the polished hardwood floors in the dining room, and the soft, fluffy carpet in the bedrooms. There were 5 bedrooms. The cottage wasn't huge, but it was perfect.

"I don't hate you..." I whispered, not wanting to admit to him that I wasn't actually angry at all anymore.

A wide grin spread over his face.

"It's not going to be ready to move into for another few months. Probably about 5. So that gives us time to adjust to being parents, before moving out on our own..."

I leaned in and kissed Edward gently. I couldn't possibly be angry with him anymore. He wanted to get a place that was perfect for all three of us; he took into account what I had wanted. Hell, he remembered what I had loved. And he still understands that this is going to be hard, for both of us. So being around Esme and Carlisle, and having them to teach us a thing or two is going to be the biggest help I could possibly ask for.

_**15**__**th**__** of November**_

**Edward's POV**

"Hey Carlisle..."

I stood in the doorway of the bedroom, watching Carlisle run after Esme, who was flustered about something to do with Christmas. Even though it wasn't for another month and 10 days.

"I was just wondering what would happen if Bella went into labour early... it's not likely, I know, but I guess I've been worrying about it a bit."

Carlisle looked thoughtful for a moment, before walking into the bedroom with me. Bella was out with her father, for the first time in months, and I was nervous being away from her.

"Well, she's about seven and a half months at the moment. So if she did today, it wouldn't be fantastic. If we got her to hospital quickly, everything would most likely be ok. However, the baby would be in hospital for a while. Her lungs would be underdeveloped, for one. After 8 months, Bella and the baby would be fine, again, provided we got to the hospital. She and the baby would probably stay for a few days longer than they would normally"

I nodded. I was still worried. What if something happened today?

"Edward," Carlisle placed a hand on my shoulder "she's going to be fine. Both of them will be. You need to stop worrying. It isn't good. For you, or for Bella. She can look after herself. And I doubt that she will go into labour today. Even if she did, she is only at Charlie's. He isn't an imbecile. He will take her to a hospital, and call us."

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**AN – that was chapter 20, and again, it's short. I know. Don't hate me PLEASE. I'm getting these out as quickly and as well written as I can, given that I have writers block, and a heap of school work to do. So please forgive me? *puppy dog eyes***

**I am so close to 1000 reviews. Do you think we can get there? :)**

**Love xx**

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	21. Hot Chocolate and Coffee

**AN – thank you to so many people for getting me to 1000 reviews. You have no idea how awesome that made me feel. This chapter is double the length of most of the others as a thank you.**

**CullenGirl30, you were review number 1000, so thank you :D to pick my favourite review from last chapter was really hard. It is tied. Between ar080185 and XXXbloodyXheartXXX. Thank you guys, your reviews made me *squee*.**

**Here is chapter 21, I hope you like it. Please review at the end. They really do make me pretty damned happy.**

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**Bella's POV**

_**December 1st**_

For the first time in a while, I stepped out of Edward's Volvo to stare at the school. I had, for the most part, been doing my school work at home, with permission from the very willing principal. It had been difficult, being away from Edward during the weeks when he went to school. And I was jealous. He could take weeks at a time off, and still be set to graduate at the top of the class. Back to my original point though. Here I am, ready to walk into the school. Nearly half way through the year, heavily pregnant, and only just scraping passes in most of my classes. I was still around a B for biology, but everything else I was just on a C. All that mattered to me at the moment was making sure Charlotte would be ok in life. And to me, that meant both her parents getting through high school, so we could support her without the money that Carlisle and Esme would willingly give to us.

I had to come to school for the next two weeks. We were heading into final exams. It was just like every other semester I had been through. But something about this seemed so different. And I realise there was the obvious possible reason, but that just didn't seem like it. It was like there was something else. Something about being here felt bad. I pushed aside that feeling though, and took Edward's hand, walking toward the doors.

I felt an arm link through mine, and I looked to my side to see Alice grinning at me.

"Hey stranger. Long time no see."

I raised my eyebrows at Alice, trying to hold back a smile.

"Alice, I saw you yesterday, when I made the horrible mistake of not knocking on Jasper's door," I shuddered at the memory, "you're the one who decided to sleep at your own home last night" I pretended to be upset at Alice's decision to actually spend time with her parents. Anyone who hadn't been told differently would assume that Alice and Rosalie actually lived with the Cullen's. That was an understandable mistake to make. They were there 95% of the time.

Alice pouted at me. "Don't sulk Bella, it's unattractive." The sides of her lips twitched, and it was now a battle to see who could hold off the inevitable laugh first. I looked at her, trying to remain serious.

"Says she who throws a tantrum if she doesn't get to go shopping for the little one here" I said, nodded my head towards my stomach.

"Bella, Charlotte needs the best. I'm only trying to do my duty as Aunty Alice by buying her everything I possibly can before she's born."

She grinned. And then started laughing hard. I held back for as long as I could, but Alice laughing sent me into a fit of laughter as well. We stopped, and she let go of my arm to clutch her ribs as she laughed.

We didn't stop laughing until I realised that Edward had let go of my hand. I tried to straighten my face as I turned to look at him, but the expression on his face sent me into laughter again. He just looked so serious.

He rolled his eyes, before brushing his thumb over my cheek where tears were starting to leave trails. People always talk about laughing so hard you cry, but it only happened to me once before. Edward smiled a bit, before saying "you'll be ok with Alice from here?" I nodded my head " I'll see you in class then, my Bella. Be good please, and careful."

He leaned in, and kissed me. I snaked my hand through his hair, pressing my lips harder to his, my body working in overdrive. I ran my tongue over his bottom lip, before sucking it into my mouth, biting it gently. Edward moaned, and his mouth opened automatically, his hand starting to caress my side. I had forgotten about where we were and who was around us, and my hands flew to the top of his pants, ready to make the dive in, when we heard someone behind Edward clearing their throat loudly.

Edward quickly pulled away, turning around, while moving me in front of him quickly, to hide the bulge that was now more than obvious through his jeans. There stood Emmett, looking stunned, but also almost proud, and Rosalie, who was looking disturbed.

"Bella, I did not need to see you try to get your hands in Edward's pants this early in the morning. If ever for that matter," she said, shuddering for the added effect.

"Oh please, Rosalie, you and Emmett disturb us on a regular basis. You aren't one to be talking," I almost spat at her. I didn't mean to sound so angry, but my hormones were in overdrive, I was horny, and she'd just interrupted my first real contact with Edward in...Ok, well in about 3 hours, but I still wasn't thrilled we'd been interrupted. It was probably for the best though, give that we were standing just outside the school, with people starting to gather in the car park we were all standing in. "Sorry" I murmured, before turning to Edward again. "I'll see you in class, Edward." I gave him a chaste kiss, "I love you"

"I love you too, Bella. Try not to kill anyone ok?" he said, with a grin, moving before I could hit him. I glared at his retreating form.

"Come on Bella!" Alice said, already walking toward the building where I had home room.

x-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------x

It was lunch time, and we were all sitting around the one table. I had my legs draped over Edward's and he was massaging my calves. The doctor had said this might help relieved some of the swelling that was making my feet the size of footballs, and I wasn't about to complain. The massaging felt damned good. I picked up my hot chocolate, and took a long sip. I missed coffee so much, but had found a whole new appreciation of hot chocolate and marshmallows. If you gave it a chance, it could wake you up just as much as coffee. You just had to get over your coffee addiction first. That was harder to do when everyone around you drank coffee by the vat. I looked around the table to see 3 empty cups in front of Alice.

_That explains the advanced state of hyper she's in._

And a cup each in front of everyone, except Edward, who had given it up with me. Everyone was slaving over various pieces of paper in front of them. Edward and I on the other hand had already got all our assignments out of the way, now it was just exams, and I was prepared to sit here all day having Edward's hands work wonders on my legs as my mind wandered to better, dirtier, places.

"Hey, Edward..."

His head turned toward me slowly, looking at me with lust filled eyes. Apparently his mind had been elsewhere also.

"Do we have to go to math?"

Edward smirked, but pulled out the outline for this class. He looked over it for a moment before frowning. He looked at me disappointedly, "yeah. It says we're getting a revision sheet today, and a practise exam to take home and look over."

"Oh...damn..."

"Mmm...tonight?"

I nodded at him, before returning my thoughts to Edward making love to me.

x-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------x

Edward and I got home later that afternoon, and barely made it into the bedroom before I had him pinned beneath me on the bed. I had long gotten over my insecurities about being naked in front of Edward. He all but worshiped my body, and it made me feel more beautiful that I ever had, even with my insanely huge belly, with the dark line down the center. Ok, maybe I was still a little insecure, but even so, I ripped my shirt over the top of my head and through it somewhere behind me. It wasn't long before all clothes were discarded, and I was gently kissing Edward's neck. He sat up slightly agains the headboard, and I positioned myself on top of him. This was the most comfortable position we had found.

One of Edward's hand softly and absently mindedly stroked the flesh of my belly, while the other massaged my breast. His breathing was ragged, fast, and shallow before I lowered myself onto him. When I did, he sucked in a sharp breath and held it, before letting it out as a long pleasured moan as I moved up and down on him.

x-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------x

I woke up to the annoying ringing from my cell phone. Reaching over to the bedside table, I looked at the caller ID. I groaned, and answered, ready to kill someone.

"Alice, what the hell do you want?"

"Oh so cheery, Bella."

"Alice...before I kill you, what do you want?"

"It's a tiny bit physically impossible for you to kill me at this very moment. Anyway, Esme told me to tell you dinner is ready."

"So you called me?!"

"I didn't know if you were decent or not. You and Edward were...loud...earlier."

I rolled my eyes, and hit the hang up button. I untangled myself from Edward's arms, and lifted myself carefully off the bed. Glancing at the clock, I saw that it was nearly 7pm.

_That explains my bladder killing me._

Edward and I made our way to the kitchen 10 minutes later the smell of roast chicken, and saw Esme just starting to serve up. Apparently she had had the forethought to give us and early warning.

"Mmm, Esme. That smells amazing." I said, as she smacked Emmett's hand away from the two chickens sitting on the counter top.

"Rosalie, can you get Emmett out of here please? Before he eats all the food." Esme turned to Rosalie, almost pleading with her. It was funny. This happened every dinner time, and yet it was still amusing to watch Emmett sulk like a child denied his favourite toy, and Esme scold him like her was a toddler.

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_**21**__**st**__** December**_

"You have no idea how glad I am the semester is finally over!" Alice flopped down on the bed next to me, as Edward gave her an incredulous look.

"Yes I do, Alice. Why are you on my bed?" he asked, to which Alice simply poked out her tongue at him.

"It's Bella's bed too, Edward. And she doesn't mind, do you Bella?" she looked toward me, grinning.

_Way to put me on the spot. To side with Edward, or to side with Alice? Well...Alice is likely to annoy me more if I don't agree...Alice it is..._

"Not really." I looked at Edward, silently apologised. He nodded, the sides of his lips twitching. He probably saw the internal battle going on, and knew exactly where my answer was coming from.

I stood up, and continued folding the washing that I had been doing all afternoon. I had left school around midday, after my last exam. I made a mental note to never leave the washing for two weeks ever again. Who would've thought I could go through so much clothing? Edward had tried to get me to sit down while he folded it, but gave up pretty soon after I threatened to stab him to death if he didn't stop worrying so damned much about me. I'm fairly sure that he wasn't sure if I would go through with it or not, but obviously he decided not to risk it, and had settled for putting it away as I folded. All of a sudden I felt an ache in my back and abdomen, like I was getting my period. Just a few seconds later, it relaxed. I shook my head, and dismissed it, continuing with the washing. It happened again about fifteen minutes later, and I narrowed my eyes a little, and winced.

"Bella? What's wrong?"

"It's nothing, Edward. My back just hurts a bit. I think I'll lie down for a bit..."

Alice jumped up off the bed where she'd made herself comfortable, and pulled back the covers for me to get in. I slid into the covers, and got myself comfortable. Edward brought me up a warm cup of tea, and sat down next to me.

"Are you sure you're ok, Bella?"

"Yeah, I was probably just standing up for a bit..." I winced again as another pain came, and worry struck across Edward's face.

"Bella, I'm getting Carlisle. I'll be back in a minute. Don't move, please?"

I nodded at him, relaxing as the pain started to subside again.

_I couldn't be...could I?_

Carlisle and Edward came up the stairs and into the room.

"Ok, Bella. Where are you getting the pains?"

I sat up in the bed, and motioned around my abdomen "there" and moved my hands to my back, "and also about there on my back..."

I looked up at Carlisle, and bit my lip nervously. He narrowed his eyes at me.

"What do they feel like?"

"Um...I guess kind of like an ache? Like I'm getting my period..."

"Bella, you might be going into labour. I think we should go to the hospital."

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**AN – Yes, I did just leave it there. I am super nervous about this chapter. I'm not sure how I did, so p****lease review, and tell me what you think?**


	22. Glue Stick?

**AN – ok, here is the chapter. Please read this AN first???**

**A massive thank you to all the wonderful ideas from the mothers out there. Your help was priceless. Also, a massive thank you to the(dot)lamb(dot)loves(dot)the(dot)lion, who helped me through a writers block, and gave me an awesome idea to use. If you could go read her story "Sewing the Wounds" after this, that would mean a lot to me :D**

**Best review for the last chapter goes to: XOXOgossipgirl21, just because your review made me *squee* with happiness.**

**On with the chapter. Reviews at the end make me ecstatic.**

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**Edward's POV**

"Bella, can you get in the car yourself?" I immediately regretted my words. I knew that I worried too much, but a contraction hit Bella the moment we got down stairs. Apparently they were starting to hurt more. I could feel her fist hit my chest before I saw her start moving. I cringed as she hit me.

"Sorry, Bella..."

"I'm not a fucking 3 year old, Edward. I know how to get in a car!"

Carlisle smirked as he opened the driver's side door. "Edward, just get in the car. Bella, do you have the birth plan?"

"Yeah. You're going to make sure they give me an epidural right? I don't want to be pushed a basketball through a golf hole with no pain relief"

Carlisle burst into laughter this time, apparently unable to contain his amusement.

"Well, really Bella, it's not the size of a basketball, more..." Carlisle stopped suddenly when her realised that Bella was shooting him a look to shut even the bravest man up pretty damned quickly, "yes, I'll make sure you get an epidural if there's time..."

"If there's t....oh never mind. Come on. Let's get me to the hospital, before Edward freaks out" Bella glanced over to me, and it was true. I was anxious to get to the hospital. I'd heard stories about horrible things that had happened because they didn't get to the hospital in time...

Bella rolled her eyes at me as I bit my lip.

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**Bella's POV**

"Ok, Bella. If you'd like to sit on the bed, I'll just fix this around your stomach. It will monitor the heartbeat of the baby, and also let us know when you're having contractions"

"Ok..." I bit my lip and nodded. I was scared. No, that's a lie. I was fucking terrified. I was three weeks early. Carlisle, and my OB-GYN (who was already at the hospital, and free, luckily) had told me that they weren't going to try to stop the labour. Charlotte might be a bit small, but three weeks wasn't too early, and they very easily could have miscalculated the date.

"Bella, it says on your birth plan that you'd like an epidural. When would you like that?"

Fuck I don't know. Maybe when it's hurting like a bitch?

I decided against that answer, and went with "I'm not sure...not yet. It isn't really hurting at the moment. I mean, the contractions are uncomfortable, and hurt a little. But I wouldn't call it anywhere near unbearable"

The nurse just smiled. I could tell what she was thinking. Something along the lines of, "it will be, don't worry".

Edward gave my hand an encouraging squeeze, and lent in, kissing my temple lightly, before brushing a bit of hair out of my face. His hand was shaking. I felt sorry for him. I'm fairly sure that he was more nervous that I was. He kept looking around the room, inspecting everything that he saw. As if they were going to provide us with faulty equipment. As sorry as I felt for him though, I was pretty sure I wasn't going to be wanting his worrying in a couple of hours.

"Ok, Bella" my doctor said from beside me, as he placed my chart on the table next to the bed "I'm going to have a look, to see if you're dilated, and if you are, how far you are." He looked around the room at Carlisle, who suddenly looked like a dear in headlights.

"Um, I'll be going outside for that."

He walked toward the door, smiling meekly at me, and giving Edward an encouraging pat on the back, before closing the door quickly behind him.

The doctor looked at Edward, and Edward all but glared at him. "I'm not going anywhere" he said, menacingly. It was clear to anyone in the room that nothing was going to get Edward to leave my side. I looked up at him and smiled.

"Ok..." the doctor said, surrendering "Bella, I need you to lie back, ankles together, and just let your knees fall apart. Just like a pap smear"

I did as he said, and he lifted the sheet from my legs. Edward looked uncomfortable watching him.

"Ok, deep breaths, Bella. And try to relax. If it helps, focus on one point." I looked up, and stared at Edward. He looked down at me, whispered "I love you, so much."

I could see tears starting to form.

I didn't speak, instead I mouthed the words "I love you too"

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"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! FUCK! Give me the fucking epidural NOW!"

This had been going on for an hour now, and they still hadn't given it to me. I was ready to kill someone. Just as I screamed that though, they door swung open, and someone walked in. Now that I wasn't in quite so much pain, I could look around to see what was happening. There was a new doctor, setting up something on the table.

"Ok, Bella. After we give you this, we're going to take you up to the delivery room ok?"

"You're going to MOVE me?!"

I could have sworn that the doctor fucking smiled. I wanted to choke him to death with that catheter.

"Don't worry, we'll wheel you there on the bed. You don't have to move."

I huffed, and turned away from him. I hoped that I had another few minutes before the next contraction.

"Bella, can you roll on your side, toward the young man there. I'm going to insert this catheter, via a needle, into your spine. It might hurt, but I need you to stay as still as possible"

Can't hurt anywhere near as much as my uterus trying to squeeze out a fucking baby.

"Mmhmm..."

All of a sudden a pain worse than anything I had felt, including the contractions, ripped through my body.

"Ow, what the fuck are you doing?!" I screamed at the doctor.

"It's in now. You'll be numb in a few minutes."

Edward quirked an eyebrow at me. "Was it that bad?"

I snapped then. As if it wasn't enough to be pushing this thing out for him, he had to make a comment like that?!

"Oh, how about you have a needle stuck into your SPINE! While you're at it, why don't you push a baby out of a whole the size of a fucking GLUE STICK!"

"Glue stick?" Now he was smiling.

"OUT! Get out!"

His face fell pretty quickly then, and he looked down at me.

Fuck me, now he's going to cry.

"No. I'm not leaving. You know that..." he didn't sound convinced though. He knew he'd leave if I told him too again. But he really didn't want to.

I just shook my head, and looked away from him.

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An ear-splitting scream filled the room, and it was a couple of moments before I realised that it came from me. I'd been "pushing" for the past what felt like hours, and they kept telling me that it was just going to be a couple more. I didn't think I had the energy left to scream. I was drained. There was nothing left in me. I couldn't hold Edward's hand anymore. Instead he was sitting behind me, stroking my hair out of my face, whisper that he loved me, and that it would be ok. It had been encouraging, at first. Now it was the only thing keeping me from giving up and stoping entirely. The pain was still excruciating. The fucking epidural was doing shit all, and I'm pretty sure something was about to tear down there.

I felt another contraction come over me.

"Ok, Bella, we can see the head now. Push."

I give one more push, with what little strength I had left, and suddenly a loud cry filled the room, replacing my agonized screams. I fell back onto Edward, tears running down my face.

"Congratulations, Bella, Edward. You have a daughter" the midwife beamed up at me, standing up, with a baby in her arms.

It took me a moment to realise that this baby was mine. Ours. This baby was Charlotte. A sob escaped my chest, and I could feel Edward's tears against my neck.

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**AN – oh my gosh. I'm crying. I'm so pathetic.**

**Reviews are appreciated. More than appreciated. Loved, and cherished. What did you think? Did I do it justice?**


	23. Sleep

**AN – thank you to everyone who read and reviewed the last chapter. I'm glad you all liked it so much. To all those worried that I was going to end it there, don't worry. I still have AT LEAST another five chapters up my pretty little sleeve.**

**Sorry this took so long to get up. I had the final week of term, so assessment was due. Then I got to spend an amazing evening with one of fanfiction dot net's amazing writers, Meilzdoggg01. Who would've thought that getting desperately lost could be so much fun?**

**Favourite review for last chapter goes to: DustiJits. Thank you for your amazing review. Keep up the good work people, it's getting harder to choose my favourite, and I love a challenge!  
**

**Don't forget, review at the end. I loves them, so show me the love.**

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**Edward's POV**

They cleaned my baby girl off, and wrapped her tightly in material so thin I was amazed it kept her warm. She was sleeping in a plastic crib next to Bella's bed. She was a bit small, but fully developed. And healthy. That was what made me happiest. My baby girl. OUR baby girl; was healthy. Bella had just fallen asleep too, facing toward Charlotte. I was lying next to Bella on the bed. Amazed by how beautiful the sight was. The love of my life, and our child.

After a few minutes more minutes, I tore myself away from Bella. It was time to go see the family. Alice was probably bouncing up and down right outside the door. Sure enough, when I opened it, there was Alice, with Rosalie, standing right outside the door, apparently in the middle of a whispered argument. They stopped when the door opened, and turned to look at me. A grin took over my face, and I started babbling about how beautiful she was, and her tiny little nose, and soft bronzy brown hair, that looked like it might have soft curls. Her eyes were still a dark blue, but looked like that might change to brown.

"Edward, slow down!"

Alice was standing with her hands on her hips, eyebrows raised.

"Oh, sorry. Um, is Charlie here yet? And is Renee on her way?"

Carlisle walked up to me, and pulled me into a tight embrace, before letting go and stepping back.

"Renee's plane just landed, Charlie is getting her. They'll be here in about an hour...how is she?"

"You can come in if you want. Just...be quiet. Bella and Charlotte are asleep" I said, narrowing my eyes toward Alice, who poked her tongue out before all but skipping into the room.

"So, did you come up with a middle name yet?"

"Not yet. We want to make it special. But we don't know any names that are a mix of Renee and Esme."

"You know that Renee and Esme have the same middle name? Anne."

I smiled at my father. He looked so hopeful, and I liked it too. "I'll talk to Bella about it. I like it though."

We stepped into the room to see Bella awake, sitting up, holding Charlotte.

"Alice, did you wake her up?!"

"Edward, no she didn't wake me up" Bella rolled her eyes at me "Charlotte woke up"

"Oh, I didn't hear her..."

"She was just fussing. Not crying. Besides, I don't really want to fall asleep just yet..."

I walked over and sat next to Bella and looked down at the face of Charlotte. It was scrunched up, and she looked like she was about to cry about something.

"What do you think she wants?"

Bella shrugged her shoulders, and bit her lip. It was terrifying. I had no idea what to do. The nurses had said someone would come in to talk us through it soon. Esme walked over to the bed, and started crying.

"Oh, she's beautiful!"

"Did you want to hold her?" Bella asked, looking up at Esme, who was furiously trying to wipe away the tears that were rolling down her cheeks.

"Would I?!" Esme softly lifted Charlotte from Bella's arms, and Carlisle walked over to Esme, standing behind her, with his chin on her shoulder. He whispered something in her ear, and Esme's face lit up, even brighter than before.

Alice sat down on the side of Bella's bed, a lot more gently than I would have expected, given her current excessively hyperactive state.

"How are you doing, Bella?"

Bella beamed at Alice.

"Fantastically. A bit sore, obviously. But I can't believe I finally have our daughter, here. She's more beautiful than I could have imagined. I'm scared though... she was fussing before, and I couldn't figure out how to quiet her. Then Esme held her... and look. She's quiet and nearly asleep again..."

Alice gave Bella's hand a small squeeze, careful of the IV drip that was in there. Dehydration was a problem after child birth apparently, so they'd fixed up a saline drip for a couple of hours. "You'll be fine, Bella. Remember, Esme has had three boys. She knows how to handle babies. You'll learn quickly, and you'll be fantastic."

"Here, Bella. Try holding her again. I promise you'll be great" Esme said, smiling and handing Charlotte back to Bella. Bella looked nervous. She bit her lip, and I could have sworn she was about to cry.

"Hey, Bella. It's going to be ok. I promise. Trust me, ok? I love you..." I whispered in her ear, not wanting everyone else to hear.

Charlotte woke again as she was handed from Esme to Bella, and Bella look terrified again. Charlotte let out a cry, and scrunched her face up.

"Ok, Bella, just try rocking her, very gently. Talk to her, and hold her close to you."

Bella did just as she was told, and Charlotte quieted her cries to small whimpers.

Bella's tears spilled over, and I immediately started panicking.

"Bella, what's wrong?"

"Nothing. Nothing's wrong. Just...I did it! She's not crying!"

**~*~o~*~**

Bella spent the next two days learning to feed Charlotte, and I spent the next two days spending as much time as I could at the hospital. Bella was discharged early Christmas Eve, and we spent the day setting up Charlotte in her new crib. We had moved the crib into our room for the first few weeks, to satisfy both Bella's and my fears that something would go wrong.

Now I lay in bed, awake, watching Bella sleep. It was a rare occurance, now that Charlotte was home, and I could see it wearing her down. Bella was scared to sleep, in case she didn't wake up when Charlotte cried out. Finally, I convinced her to let worry about that. I had told Bella that I would wake her up after two hours sleep, and if Charlotte cried in the mean time, I would look after it. She could feed Charlotte when it was time, and then she was to go back to sleep. I wanted Bella to spend today relaxing, getting what rest she could. I thanked my lucky stars that she had agreed, so long as I woke her up when Charlotte needed feeding.

I heard a small whimper from the crib next to me, and sighed, giving Bella a quick gentle kiss on the forehead, before walking to the crib, picking up Charlotte, and walking quietly out of the room. I went and sat in the nursery. The rocking chair was quickly becoming the most used piece of furniture in the house.

The rain fell gently on the window, and I rocked my daughter softly. She was the most beautiful creature to grace this planet. I still could not understand how two women held my heart completely, but it was undeniable that Bella and Charlotte did.

"Charlotte Anne Cullen..." I spoke my daughters name softly, careful not to wake her again. She looked peaceful. A stark contrast from when she was awake and knew no way of communicating other than crying. I understood why she cried. I was worried though. Bella had been crying so much of the time, and was terrified to hold Charlotte. She wouldn't admit that she was upset, but I could see it. And I was resolved to make sure that Bella knew I was here for her...

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**AN – oh shit ayye? So what's wrong with Bella? Theories people, they are loved in the reviews.**

**Love you all for your amazing support :) support = chapters = support. It's like one big circle :D**


	24. Photo Albums

_**TWILIGHTED FORUM – there is a link at the top of my profile to go to the forums, on Twilighted. You must be over 18, but there I will be providing teasers, and chatting to readers about this story, and other Twilight related stuff!! Check it out; I hope to see you over there!!**_

**AN – hey everyone. Sorry this took a couple days to get out. I've been a busy bee, with my lovely best friend, Meilz, down visiting her Nanna, and me hanging out with her when we could, and my internet is reasonably determined to die every time I go to load this.**

**Favourite review for last chapter goes to Meilzdoggg01, just cos it was funny as hell.**

**Thank you all for your theories, and I hope I live up to your expectations in this chapter.**

**VERY IMPORTANT NOTE**

**In most cases PPD does not preclude women from breastfeeding, and while SSRI antidepressants may pass through breast milk, it is still safe in A LOT of cases to breastfeed. Women out the need to know that having PPD does not mean you HAVE to do less as a mother. You are still capable, and loving, and every mother is amazing.**

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I lay restlessly in my bed, trying desperately to sleep. I had heard Edward leave just minutes ago with Charlotte, and I was immediately terrified, being away from her. I couldn't explain my fears. They were more irrational than anything I had felt before, including love. But that was just it. I was terrified. I was fucking terrified and I loved my baby girl. I didn't want to be a bad mother, but the moment I saw her for the first time I realised that she really was a baby. She was real, a human, she was tangible, and she looked so damned fragile that it scared me. I didn't know what to do. I spent hours crying for no reason. I tried to hold my head high in front of everyone, but I knew Edward saw through it.

I sighed, frustrated that sleep wouldn't come. I swung my legs over the side of the bed, and lifted myself to my feet. I stood in front of the full length mirror, and lifted my shirt. There under all the loose skin were stretch marks to rival anything you'd ever seen. I hadn't realised just how much weight I had put on during pregnancy, but now that there was nothing in there to blame the weight on I felt vulnerable and exposed.

All of a sudden the door pushed open a tiny way, and I heard a soft voice coming from the doorway.

"Bella, dear. Can I come in?"

I bit my lip, and wiped away the tears that fell in a silent, continuous stream.

"Of course, Esme," I replied, and sat on the end of the bed, waiting for her to enter the room. Two moments later the door pushed open the entire way, and in walked Esme, a book of some sort in her hands, and a frazzled look on her face.

"I hope Edward doesn't come in. He won't be happy if he knew that you weren't sleeping, and I wasn't encouraging you to... but I have something I want to show you."

Esme walked over to the bed, and sat up against the headboard, and patted the spot next to her. I crawled over the bed, and sat down, wiggling a little so that I was comfortably squished between two thick and fluffy pillows.

"What you got there, Esme?"

Curiosity got the better of me, and I wanted desperately to know what Esme wanted to show me. Thankfully she didn't wait too long before showing me. She opened it slowly, running her hand over the first page. There, in gold letters, that lifted off the page a little, were the words "Edward Anthony Cullen".

"It's a photo album of Edward. They are pictures that the boys haven't seen. It's something Carlisle made me, to remind me of something. But we'll get to that later. Would you like to see?"

I nodded. Of course I wanted to see. I had seen photos of Edward as a baby before, and he truly was an adorable baby. Charlotte looks a lot like he did actually...

Esme flipped the page, and there, in the centre of the page, was Esme, holding Edward, in the hospital. She looked like death. I suppose that it wasn't an easy labour. I was about to ask, when Esme spoke.

"This was taken just moments after Edward was born. He nearly died. And I nearly died along with him. I was in labour for twenty hours, but it was too late to do a caesarean section by the time they realised something was wrong." Esme ended her sentence with a finality that let me know it wasn't appropriate to ask questions. You could hear the distress in her voice as she spoke of the labour.

Esme turned the page again, and in the centre of the page once more was a photo of Edward, no more than a few days old, in a crib. The crib was old, brown, and rickety. "We didn't always have money, Bella. Well, no. That's a lie. We had the money at hand. Carlisle's parents were more than happy to give us the money that we needed. But I was so much like you. I didn't want to take money from them, even if it meant that I had to give Edward the bare minimum and nothing more for a while." Esme was crying silently, and I started to realise just how amazing this woman was.

Esme continued to flip through the album, and tell me the story of each of the photos. I sat in silence, my head resting on her shoulder as she spoke. There was something in each of the photos, and I couldn't be sure, but it looked as if over the course of just a few weeks, through these photos, it looked as if Esme was getting more tired, smiling less, and her eyes were bloodshot from crying a lot of the time, just as mine were.

Finally she got to the last page, and stopped for a moment, furiously wiping at the tears that stained her cheeks.

"This, Bella, is the day that I stopped being able to feed Edward because of post-partum depression."

My mouth fell open, and I took my head from her shoulder to look at her.

"But, Esme. You're the most wonderful mother in the world. Your boys love you more than anything. Emmett, Jasper and Edward...they were all raised so well..."

Esme nodded "yes, they are quite amazing aren't they?"

"Why are you telling me this, Esme?"

She placed to photo album next to her, and turned toward me, stroking a piece of hair out of my face.

"Because I see so much of me, how I was back then, in you now. I want you to let me help you; before you get to the stage that I did. But I can't force my help upon you."

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**AN – we can only hope that Bella will accept the help! Please review, I love to hear what everyone thinks!**


	25. Ready to Talk

**AN – internet = fail. For all you aussies out there who know what I'm on about, GOD DAMNED TESLTRA! *throws spears* I swear to god. They are the most annoying inefficient company in the history of the universe. Anyhow. I finally got the internet up long enough to load this chapter. I hop you like it, and internet is MEANT TO BE being fixed tomorrow or the next day, so we'll see. **

**Best review for last chapter definitely goes to Wake-up Soon for her positive review, and also some amazing advice on how to get past writers block. I tried it and it worked! So thank you. Everyone else's reviews were amazing too, and I hope you like this chapter as well!**

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**Bella's POV**

Esme and I lay on my bed, laughing at stories about when Edward was a baby. I had agreed to her helping me, and was already starting to feel a tiny bit better. Esme really was amazing. Edward had brought Charlotte back in here about half an hour ago, and left Esme and I to talk. All the new found confidence was suddenly ripped away from me though, when Charlotte let out a shrill cry. I picked up Charlotte gingerly, and held her. I tried to put the pacifier in her mouth, but she spat it out again. I rocked her gently, but she continued to cry. I pulled my top down, and undid my bra, and tried to tempt Charlotte into feeding. But nothing happened. She just continued to cry. I felt my own tears stinging my eyes, and I wanted to scream at her. Why wouldn't she just stop crying?

I felt Esme's hand on my shoulder, and I let the tears roll down.

"I can't do it, Esme. She just won't stop crying!"

"Shh...Bella it's ok. You have to try to stay calm. Charlotte will be more likely to be calm when you are. They can sense how you're feeling. You're tense, dear. Do you think you can try to relax?"

I took a deep breathe and nodded, and Esme took Charlotte for a moment. I breathed in and out slowly, wiping the tears, and reminding myself that I could do it.

After a few minutes I opened my eyes, and looked at Esme.

"Ok. I'm ready." I went to get up, but Esme placed a hand on my shoulder, and picked up Charlotte, and placed her in my arms.

Charlotte continued to cry.

"Try holding her close to you, and talking gently to her."

I held Charlotte closer to my chest, and stroked a finger gently across her red cheek.

"Shh...Charlotte. It's ok. Mommy's here... shh..." I softened my voice even more and starting to sing gently "the rain pounds harsh against the glass, like an unwanted stranger. I am here tonight." Charlotte began to quiet at little, and I continued in a different verse "someday you'll know, that nature is so. The same rain that draws you near me, falls on rivers and lands. On forests and sand."

Charlotte stopped crying, and was looking up at me. Tears fell from my eyes, and a small smile came over my face.

"She's stopped..."

"That she has. See, Bella. You can do it. You just have to remember to relax. And sometimes Charlotte will be crying for the sake of crying, and there will be nothing you can do. That's when you throw Edward, or myself, or even anyone else in this family in this room, and go downstairs and make yourself a cup of tea. When you come back, she'll most likely have cried herself to sleep."

I stood and placed Charlotte gently in her crib, rocking it slowly until her eyes fell shut.

"And now, young miss. You are going to go have a shower, and get changed while I take this little beauty downstairs and watch her. You parents will be here for dinner in 2 hours. The turkey is in the oven, but I left making desert to you, if you want to..."

My smile widened, and I pulled Esme into a tight hug.

"I would love to make desert. I'll be downstairs in half an hour."

Esme picked up Charlotte again, and started to walk toward to door.

"Oh, and Esme?"

Esme turned around to look at me.

"Thank you."

"That's alright dear. You'll be fine. I promise."

"Yeah... I think I will."

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"Where is my beautiful granddaughter?" my mother all but bowled me over to get to Charlotte, who was in her rocker by the lounge.

"Right there..." I mumbled, as I walked over to say hi to dad.

"Sorry about that Bells. She wouldn't shut up all the way from the airport. She's just excited k? Don't take it personally..."

I just nodded.

"How you been Char- dad?"

Old habits die hard. I'm not sure I'll ever call him dad without thinking about it first.

"Pretty good. Went fishing with Billy the other day."

I suppressed the eye roll that was threatening to make an appearance. He and Billy went fishing twice a week, so it wasn't surprising that they went the other day.

"And how have you been Bella? You look tired..."

"Well, yeah. I have a 3 day old daughter. I'm tired, and sore. But I think I'm good."

Charlie pulled me into an awkward hug. I was thanking my lucky stars that Edward chose that moment to walk into the room.

"Dinner's going to be ready in a few minutes," Edward grinned at me, motioning for me to follow him.

I leaned against the wall when we got out of the lounge room. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before opening them against to look at Edward.

"You look better."

I grinned again.

"Yeah... I'm feeling a bit better actually." I paused. "But I'd like to talk to you about a few things, after dinner, if that's ok?"

Edward stepped toward me, and brushed a strand of hair out of my face.

"Bella, love. You never have to ask to talk to me about something. Anything you want to discuss, I am all ears."

I smiled at him.

"Come on. We have to get back in there before my mother runs off with Charlotte."

We walked back into the lounge room just as everyone was filing out to go to the dining room. Alice and Rosalie were spending Christmas Eve with their families. Jasper and Emmett were already at the table. It seemed so quiet. I was waiting for Charlotte to cry, but other than that, it was almost peaceful.

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Dinner passed with strained conversation and awkward silences. Esme and Renee were the only two who never had a moment of silence. They were talking between themselves about various baby items they'd seen. About half way through Charlotte had cried out for a feed, and thankfully she hadn't cried for long.

Edward and I walked upstairs at about nine, with a sleeping Charlotte in my arms. I placed Charlotte in her crib, and pulled the small baby blanket over her, tucking it in tight at the sides. I did a double check to make sure there was nothing in her crib that she could choke on or could end up cover her face, and when I was finally satisfied, I turned to see Edward just inches behind me.

He pulled me tight against his chest and whispered "are you ready to talk, love?"

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**AN – ok. So I battled with myself over where to end it. I decided on there. I will write the conversation next chapter. I didn't want to make this one too long, and I think the conversation and Edward's reaction need to be in a chapter of their own. So tell me what you think.**

**Don't forget there is a Twilighted forum where I will give teasers and such if people are over there. The link is at the top of my profile.**

**Please review!**


	26. Nightminds

**AN - Ok. Here is another chapter. This is so not how I saw this one happening, but you know, she can't be all better just like that. It doesn't happen. Before you kill me, remember, Edward is TRYING to understand, and Bella is TRYING to let him.**

**Thank you to "dazzled eyes22" for your awesome reviews for nearly every chapter. And yours was my favourite for last chapter too.**

**Everyone, please remember to review. They make me really happy, and encourage me to write quicker.**

**The song in this is Nightminds – Missy Higgins**

"Are you ready to talk, love?"

_**Just lay it all down.  
Put your face into my neck and let it fall out.  
I know, I know ,I know. I knew before you got home.  
This world you're in now,  
it doesn't have to be alone,  
I'll get there somehow, 'cos  
I know I know I know  
when, even springtime feels cold**_

Bella nodded against my chest, and pulled away slowly, wiping tears from her cheeks. I pulled her gently over to the bed, and she sat down. I sat next to her, and looked at her.

"I'm not doing so great, Edward. I know you probably already know that though..."

"I know you're having a bit of trouble coping. But you're going to be ok. You know that right?"

Bella nodded again, and I took it as my cue to shut up.

_**But I will learn to breathe this ugliness you see  
so we can both be there and we can both share the dark.  
And in our honesty, together we will rise,  
out of our nightminds, and into the light  
at the end of the fight...**_

"I'll be alright eventually, I know. But right now I just want to talk about WHY I am feeling like this..." Bella took a deep breath before continuing "it seems like everything I'm meant to be doing everyone else can do so much better than me. It's like there was a gene on how to be a parent that everyone else has but I missed out on. And to top it all off, I look in the mirror and all I see is loose skin and stretch marks. I feel like everything I used to be is gone, and now it's just loose skin and baby."

Bella tears were matched by my own as she spoke, and I wanted to man up and hold her and tell her it would all be ok, but I'm not sure she understood completely that I was fucking scared too. I nearly panic every time I hold Charlotte because I don't know if I'm doing something wrong or not.

_**You were blessed by  
a different kind of inner view: it's all magnified.  
The highs will make you fly,  
but the lows make you want to die.  
And I was once there,  
hanging from that very ledge where you are standing.  
So I know, I know, I know,  
it's easier to let go.**_

"Bella..."

She looked up at me, panic in her eyes. I could understand that. It mustn't be easy for her to tell me that she doesn't think she knows how to be mother. I just needed to placate her. Make her feel better. It broke my heart seeing my love so upset.

"I want to help you. How? How can I help?"

Bella shook her head "I really don't know, Edward. I guess talking about it will help. But I don't think I'm ready to go into the details just yet..."

"Have you thought about medication? Maybe seeing someone about it..."

"I don't want to talk to a complete stranger...but I suppose I'm not completely opposed to the idea of medication..."

"Ok well..."

"Edward can we go to sleep now?" Bella asked out of the blue. I looked up to see her fiddling nervously with the edge of her shirt, and chewing on her lip, fresh tears threatening to spill over. "I think I've talked enough for one night. I just want to sleep now."

"Of course. Just let me get your pajamas..."

_**But I will learn to breathe this ugliness you see,  
so we can both be there and we can both share the dark.  
And in our honesty, together we will rise out of our nightminds  
and into the light at the end of the fight.**_

"Edward I can..." she stopped midsentence, and took a deep breathe "sure. Thank you."

Bella smiled meekly at me, and I leant in to kiss her. She turned her head slightly, and I paused. I fought back the hurt, and kissed her cheek instead. I turned to get her pajamas from the chest of drawers, and fought the tears that were threatening to spill over. Now it wasn't just about Bella feeling like she wasn't good enough. I couldn't help but worry that this was the beginning of the end.

_**And in our honesty, together we will rise out of our nightminds  
and into the light... at the end of their fight...**_

**AN – ok. Please review. Seriously. They make me write faster. And, to add to that,**

**IF YOU REVIEW, I WILL GIVE YOU A TEASER.**


	27. Not So Merry Christmas

**AN – hey guys. I just want to say, WOW to all the reviews received last chapter. It made my day. I hope you all got my teaser that I sent out. I don't think I missed anyone.**

**Best review for last chapter goes to Audrey Eddie Cullen, because it was made of pure win. Oh, I totes forgot, *high fives*.**

**_TEASERS ARE OFFERED AGAIN FOR REVIEWS ON THIS CHAPTER!_**

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**Bella's POV**

I felt Edward's weight lift off the bed, and the door open and then close. I drew in a deep breath, and rolled onto my side.

_Christmas day..._

I had always hated Christmas, now I just wanted it to disappear and let me stay in bed. Instead I slid out of bed, and checked that Charlotte was still asleep. She'd woken up four times last night. I was ready to scream. I just wanted to sleep it all away. I kept thinking that maybe if I fell asleep for a really long time I'd wake up and it would be all better. Unfortunately reality got the better off me, and Charlotte started screaming again.

I picked her up and sat down on the bed, and tried to coax her to feed. My breasts were aching, I was lactating, and I just wanted her to feed. Instead she screamed and wriggled trying desperately to get free of my arms. It took three times to get Charlotte to latch on, and the screaming stopped. I listened to the gentle suckling noise. It was almost calming...

Charlotte finished feeding, and I placed her back in her crib. I glanced at the clock. 7:30am... I lay back down on bed and pulled the covers over my head as I heard Edward's car moving on the gravel.

_Hope he remembers diapers..._

He'd said he had to go out this morning, but I didn't realise he meant this early. He must be going into Port Angeles, because the only place open was the 24/7 general store.

Charlotte started whimpering in her crib again, and I pulled the covers further over my head.

_Please be quiet, please, please, please..._

I begged Charlotte silently to just let me be for a few hours. Instead Charlotte's cries filled the air, and I started crying with her. I didn't want to get up. I didn't want to be this. I wanted to be happy.

_I wish I could go back... wait... do I?_

My sobs grew louder, and my tears stained the pillow. I hugged my chest and felt my heart ripping itself apart. How can I love someone and just want them to leave me alone?

_Do I even love her?_

A loud knock at the door joined the screaming coming from the crib, mixing nicely with my own sobs. It could hit the top 40's I swear. People liked depressing shit like that. Maybe throw in some nice lyrics and I have a chart topper. In the meantime though, I only have seconds before someone barges in through that door and... My thoughts were interrupted by just that, and next thing I knew Charlotte was quiet and someone had softly sat on my bed and was pushing my hair out of my face.

"Oh, Bella..." Alice's voice came softly from the body invading my space. I wanted to scream at her, to make her go away. Instead I turned on my side and looked up at her.

I bit my lips and closed my eyes at the sight of her face. Her eyes were filled with concern, and lips pulled down into a frown. She was disappointed with me. I knew it. Everyone should be. I was incompetent. Perhaps they should just take Charlotte away. It'd be better for her...

"Bella, your mother is here... do you want to see her?"

I shook my head violently. I didn't want to see anyone. I wanted Alice to leave too. I opened my mouth to tell her that, but she cut me off.

"Don't bother asking, Bella. You know I wouldn't come here unless I wanted to. And when I want something I don't leave until I get it. We're going to talk. Rosalie has taken Charlotte downstairs, and the boys are out playing football..."

I glanced out the window, and then raised my eyebrows at Alice. It wasn't just snowing, it was icy, the wind was gusting, and you'd have to be plain stupid to go out and play in it.

"Yeah, that's what I thought too. They're insane, but Emmett got a new ball, and wanted to play with it. After he broke the vase Esme told them to take it outside of stop playing."

I smiled a tiny bit at the thought. It was just so...Emmett.

"Ok, so did you want to talk, or just lay here?"

I looked up at Alice, and shrugged my shoulders. I really didn't care at the moment.

Alice narrowed her eyes at me. "Use your big girl words, Bella."

"I don't mind what we do" I said with a huff.

"Ok, well either way, you're sitting up. There is no way in hell I'm letting you lie down while I have to sit up."

I could see past her pretences. She didn't want me to be lying in bed all day.

"Merry Christmas by the way" Alice said, as she pulled the covers off me.

"Yeah. A very merry Christmas..." I rolled my eyes as Alice threw clothes at me. She turned her back, and I slipped the sweat pants and hoodie on.

"You can turn around Alice..." I said after a few minutes of watching her, waiting for her to turn around.

"Ok, so what's wrong?" Alice asked, jumping on the bed, and offering me chocolate that seemed to have appeared out of nowhere.

I shrugged my shoulders again.

"Is it because she cries all the time?"

I shook my head. That wasn't it. Well, not entirely.

"Are you tired?"

I bit my lip and shook my head again. I wasn't too tired.

"Did Edward do something?"

Something inside me snapped.

"Alice! Shut up and get out! Ok, how would you feel if you were suddenly thrown in the deep end! Just fucking imagine that! I'm a new mom; I have no idea what to do! I feel absolutely useless! I want to scream at my fiancé for every little thing! And now I have someone shooting questions at me like I am supposed to know how to answer them! Just leave me alone already!"

Hurt flashed across Alice's face before she stood up off the bed and walked toward the door. "I just wanted to help, Bella. You're not the only one who feels useless." She closed the door gently behind her.

Picking up my pillow I held it to my face and let out a scream.

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**AN - Remember:**

**_REVIEW FOR TEASERS!!_**


	28. Smile

_**!!!IMPORTANT NOTE BEFORE THE AN!!!**_

_**Something disturbing was said about PPD recently, and I just wanted to say that depression (or mental illness for that matter) is not something that is easy to just get over. It doesn't happen like that. I implore all of you to go and Google PPD; learn a bit more about it. The amount of people in the world who are ignorant of the way that metal illness affects a person and the affects of stigma surrounding mental illness is staggering.**_

**Onto the AN – **

**Holy freaking shit. I'm sorry I took so long!! I don't want to go into detail, but suffice it to say I had a really bad few days, and needed to get my head in the right place before I could finish off this chapter.**

**I just want to say thank you to everyone who reviewed last chapter. Trust me, you readers are the only reason this chapter is now out. I hope I live up to your expectations in this chapter.**

**Best review for c27 goes too... *drum roll* ... flamingheart1974. Your review was indepth, helped me go with my idea (I wasn't so sure about it before your review) and was overall just a very good review.**

**On with the chapter, sorry for the long AN.**

**

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**

**Edward's POV**

I lay back in the bed and looked over at Bella. The things she'd said, the way she cried... it made me which I could help her. But I was stuck myself. I didn't know what to do, think, or say. I was scared of making a wrong move in case I upset her. I didn't want to walk on eggshells around my fiancé, but I didn't know how to make it all better either.

Sighing, I slid out of the bed, and showered quickly. I slipped out of the room, hoping I didn't wake her. It was just 7am, and she'd been up and down all night. I had gotten up with her the first two times, but after she told me to stay in bed, and that she didn't need me to... to help. I gave up. I didn't know what to say to her.

I drove a few miles, before pulling into a driveway nearly as concealed at the one at home. Slowly the trees started to thin, and a cottage appeared. This was the cottage I had bought for us, and it was nearly ready. I wasn't sure how Bella would feel about moving out yet, and I didn't want to put her in a position where she felt more vulnerable than before, but I was nearly finished with the renovations. I had been coming here whenever I had a free moment, and I had paid some people to do what I couldn't. Esme had picked out the furniture, and placed it around the house.

Today I would show Bella. Today would be just she and I. Charlotte was only a few days old, I knew that, but Esme had offered to look after her for a few hours, and there was bottled breast milk in the fridge. I needed time with Bella.

Opening the front door I walked in, and pulled the photo frame out of my jacket pocket. I looked at it, kissed it, and threaded a rose through the wire frame. I placed it on the mantel above the fire place, which would be lit later.

I sat on the cream couch, and looked around the living room. It looked amazing, I could give Esme that much. I just hoped Bella loved it as much I did.

Making sure everything was stocked in the kitchen for Bella's lunch, I looked around. Stainless steal appliances, brand new pots and pans, everything was new. I wasn't sure it was what Bella wanted, but it was the best on the market, and that oven... well I'm sure Bella would love the oven at least. She had said she wanted to do more cooking...

After checking everything off my list, I drove out of the limits of Forks, and toward Port Angeles. Today was a day for my Bella, and I wasn't going to have something for her to worry about.

**Bella's POV**

At around 8am, I slid out of the bed I had used as my fort after Alice had left my room, and walked quietly to the kitchen. There, as I knew they would be, were Carlisle and Esme.

Esme looked up at me as I entered, and grinned.

"Bella, honey. I was wondering when you were going to join us. Charlotte is with Alice and Rosalie."

I took a deep breath and looked at my feet for a few moments before looking back up to Esme.

"Actually, I was wondering if I could talk to you for a few minutes. And Carlisle. If that's ok..." my heart was pounding a thousand beats a minutes, I could feel my stomach jumping around, and my brain was telling me to stop, and run. I ignored everything; I knew I had to do this.

"Absolutely, what can we help you with?" Carlisle asked, standing up "coffee?"

I shook my head "no thanks, but tea would be nice..."

Esme sat down at the bench, and motioned for me to sit down next to her. Carlisle stood on the other side of the bench, and busied himself pouring the water into my tea. Pushing it across the bench to me, he looked up expectantly, as Esme rubbed my arm encouragingly.

"I think... I think maybe... I need help" I managed to stutter out. A blush took over my face, and a feeling of shame flooded through my entire being. Tears I hadn't even tried to hold back this time flowed, and I didn't bother trying to wipe them away. Uninhibited, I just let them fall.

Esme's arm snaked around my shoulders and pulled me to her. She held me as I cried, and Carlisle spoke to me.

"Bella. You have no idea just how brave it is of you to come and ask us for help. We're extremely grateful you did. There are a few options we can discuss... I just want you to remember that we are always here for you, no matter what."

I looked up at Carlisle and nodded. I wasn't able to speak yet, but my tears were slowing, and it felt as if a weight had been lifted off me.

x-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------x

Carlisle and Esme talked to me for nearly an hour, and I walked back up to the bedroom to shower and get ready for breakfast. Edward had called to say he was on his way home, and I was starting to feel slightly better. Not fantastic, but I could work on that. I felt like I could walk out of the house without breaking down, and that was an improvement of monumental magnitudes.

I showered slowly, taking the time to feel everything, the hot water cascading down my back, the way the soap felt as I rubbed it down my arms. I shaved my legs, something I hadn't done in two weeks. Stepping out of the shower I dried myself, blow dried my hair, and put slid a nice pair of jeans and a flowing shirt on.

I heard Charlotte cry from downstairs, and I walked down quickly, remembering to breathe, and telling myself I could do this.

I walked into the sitting room to see Rosalie starting to be panicked when rocking Charlotte wouldn't quiet her. As sadistic as it is, seeing someone else struggle made me feel a little bit better. I suppose it was just a gentle reminder that I wasn't the only one who didn't know what to do.

I pulled down the shoulder of my top and let Charlotte latch on at start suckling. I was amazed when it only took two tries to get her to start feeding. A small smile crept onto my lips, but I didn't want to get my hopes too high yet. It was enough for now that Charlotte was feeding this time.

The door was pushed open and I tore my eyes away from Charlotte's tiny face to see Edward stumble through the doorway, arms full of packets of diapers. He placed them on the floor as smiled at me, walking over to stand behind me, and put his head on my shoulder.

He whispered in my ear "Merry Christmas, my love" before leaning forward to whisper "and to you too, my daughter".

For the first time in days, I smile genuinely.

"I have a surprise for you, love." He started walking around the couch just as Alice huffed at looked up at us "after we open all the presents of course" Edward said as he sat down next to me. Alice smiled. Apparently she wanted present opening too.

Charlotte finished suckling on one breast, and starting whimpering. I ran one finger down her cheek.

"Shh..."

I turned her around, and let her latch onto my other breast.

"That sounds nice, Edward..." I said quietly "Um, can I talk to Alice alone for a moment?" I asked, biting, my lip.

Edward smiled; "of course" he leaned in and placed one hand on my cheek. Remembering how I had turned away from him last night, I leant in as far as I could without disturbing Charlotte, and brushed my lips against his.

Edward sighed and smiled against my lips before standing up.

"I'll be upstairs, love."

Edward walked out of the room, and closed the door. Charlotte finished feeding, and I pulled my shirt and bra up again. Alice sat down across from me. I opened my mouth to speak, but Alice beat me to it.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I shouldn't have pushed you. I was just a little too enthusiastic. I guess I... I don't know... but I'm sorry."

I closed my eyes before speaking, trying to figure out just how to word what I was going to say.

"Alice, you don't have to be sorry. I guess you were pushing a bit, but I shouldn't have snapped at you. I... asked Carlisle and Esme for help... we're going to set me up with a counsellor appointment, and Carlisle said that there's a mother's support group in Port Angeles. I might go to that... I'm not sure yet. I just... it's been hard. And I shouldn't be pushing you away."

I bit my lip and looked up at Alice. She was crying, and I was about to apologise again, although I had no idea how I had upset her this time.

"Alice... stop crying... I'm sorry..." I begged, the feeling of helplessness starting to surface again.

Alice starting laughing and the confusion was overwhelming.

"Wha..."

Alice cut me off "I'm not upset you idiot! I'm happy that you asked for help. And I'm laughing because you're so cute when you're confused."

I narrowed my eyes at her, and looked around for something to throw at her. Picking up a pillow, I threw it with one hand, careful not to shake Charlotte. Needless to say I missed terribly, and Alice just raised an eyebrow at me. She stood up and walked over to me, sitting down where Edward had been previously been. She looked at me, and hugged me awkwardly. Despite the awkwardness, the warmth of her intentions flowed through.

"I've missed talking to you, Bella... We're scared too. Probably not as much as you, but we're scared that we won't be able to help. That you'll just push us away... we don't want that, Bella..."

"I don't want to push you away either, but sometimes I suppose it feels like there's no way you're going to understand..."

I prepared myself for the anger from Alice, and almost jumped when she came in for another hug.

"Bella, we might not understand completely, but I promise you we're sure as hell trying."

I took a deep breath, and then scrunched up my noise.

"Um... Charlotte needs changing..." I said.

"Yes, she does. I was waiting for you to smell that."

I pushed Alice gently, and playfully, and laughed.

I cradled Charlotte and stood. Alice jumped up and opened the door for me, and I walked up the stairs. Pushing open the door I saw Edward staring at a photo of us on the dresser.

"When are you parents coming over love?"

"Around six. They're spending time in La Push today, catching up with old friends." I answered, placing Charlotte gently on the mat I threw onto the bed. "Can you pass me the diaper and powder?" I asked, and Edward walked over to me with them already in his hands.

I took off Charlotte's diaper and wrapped up and passed it to him.

"Why do you want to know?" I asked, wiping Charlotte's bottom.

"I want to take you somewhere today. I just need to know how long we have."

Charlotte squirmed as I put the diaper under her.

"Have you got the baby carrier set up in the car?"

Edward paused, and I knew there was something more.

"Um... well I was thinking... Esme said that she can look after Charlotte for a few hours... if that's ok with you..."

I bit my lip hard, and thought about it. I was scared about leaving Charlotte for a few hours. She was still new born, but Esme had given Charlotte a bottle before.

"Is she really ok with it?" I asked, finishing sticking the sides down on the diaper.

Edward knelt down next to me and took over putting on Charlotte's jumpsuit. "She'd love to look after Charlotte for a few hours, love. I promise." He said, kissing my cheek before picking up Charlotte.

I sighed "ok... but we have to make sure our cell phone's are on, just in case she needs to call."

Edward nodded, and placed Charlotte into her crib.

"Of course, love."

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**AN – ok, remember, TEASERS FOR REVIEWS, REVIEW FOR YOUR TEASER.**

**Next chapter will be Edward's present. It won't be a complete lemon (because come on, she just had a baby. That shit hurts :P), but there will be something good, gentle, perhaps half lemony provided you show me some love.**

**So come on, gentle lovin' AND teasers. Do you really need more of an incentive to review?**


	29. I Swear To You

**AN – thank you to everyone who reviewed last chapter. You made me so happy. I woke my brother up with one of them, which I got at about 3am. He came in cos I squealed. I suppose he thinks I'm insane. Which I probably am.**

**Anyhow, best review for last chapter goes to (by the way I really need a pre-recorded drum roll) mommy2matty, for your awesome review. I always like to hear how I'm making people feel with this story. Writing emotions is one of the things I really hope that I'm good at, if nothing else.**

**On with the chapter?**

**Edward's POV**

Throughout the entire process of opening presents, and clearing of the paper that Emmett and Alice seemed to love throwing at each other, my heart was racing. I was starting to have second thoughts about this. What if she didn't like it? What if I upset her more because she thought I was pushing her? However just as I was about to say that I couldn't show her the "surprise" today, Bella piped up, saying she was ready to leave.

I walked over to her and kissed her cheek.

"Are you sure you're ok with leaving Charlotte here, love?"

Bella bit her lip.

"No, but we can come back any time can't we? And do you promise we'll have cell phone reception?"

I smiled gently. "Of course we can come back whenever you want, or if Esme calls. We won't be very far away. Also, I know there's cell phone reception."

Bella breathed in deeply and closed her eyes, calming herself.

"Ok, let's go then. I'll just say goodbye to Charlotte one more time" Bella said, and turned to walk toward the sitting room where Esme was with Carlisle. I followed her in, because I missed my daughter already. I knew we needed this though. We needed a couple of hours to ourselves.

Charlotte squirmed as Bella said goodbye, and kissed her noise. She put her back down in her portable crib, and I leaned in.

"Goodbye, princess. Make sure you're good for Grandma and Grandpa, ok? I love you munchkin" I whisper the last bit, not really wanting everyone to be a part of that moment. Bella could hear though, and leant in placing her head gently on my shoulder.

"Come on, Edward. If we don't go now we're never going to get out of here," Bella said before turning to Esme "make sure SHE" Bella tilted her head to the door where Alice was bouncing off the walls (someone gave her sugar) "doesn't run off with my baby"

Bella looked to Esme seriously, and Esme held in giggles.

"I would never allow it, Bella. Now you two go, have a little fun. I'll call if I need you."

Bella was about to walk out, but stopped.

"There's fresh breast milk in the fridge, I have diapers upstairs in her nursery, and also down here. Her pacifiers are in here. Is there anything else? I feel like I'm forgetting something."

Esme walked over to Bella and wrapped her in a hug. She pulled away saying "Bella, sweetheart, it's going to be ok. I promise."

Bella bit her lip and nodded, before hugging Esme once more, and waving to Carlisle. I took her hand, and we walked out of the house, and to my car.

The drive to the house was quiet, but not uncomfortable. Bella's hand sought out mine, and they lay entwined between us as I drove. Within minutes I was pulling into the driveway of the property and starting down the winding overgrown path leading to the cottage.

I pulled up outside the house and looked over to Bella. She was staring at it.

"It's even more beautiful than the pictures..." she whispered, stepping out of the car "can we go in?" she asked walking toward the house.

I stifled a small laugh.

"Yes, love. We can go in."

I walked up the steps to the porch and slid the key into the lock, turning it, it clicked, and I pushed the door open, letting Bella pass me.

Bella walked into the house, and my heart and mind started racing. What was she thinking? Did she like it? What if she didn't like it?

Bella turned to me, her mouth half open, her eyes wide.

"Do you... I mean is it..." I started stuttering.

"It's..." Bella started "it's... wow. Edward. When did you find the time to do all this?"

"Esme, Carlisle, and... well everyone helped." I said, walking behind her as she examined everything that had been done; the repainting, furnishing, and hanging pictures.

"It's completely finished? Like... ready to move into?"

I bit my lip and nodded "it's ready when you are, love. I don't want you to feel as if we have to rush to move out." I took Bella's hand, anxious to show her the kitchen.

We walked in, and Bella gasped. She ran over to the cupboard and opened and closed them. She turned on the gas to the oven and opened the fridge.

"Everything connected too? It's ready to use?"

I smiled and nodded again. I had missed seeing Bella excited about something.

"Can I... I mean... is it ready to be cooked in?"

I suppressed a laugh, "yes, you can cook if you want. I was going to make us some pasta for lunch or something though."

Bella's head shot up, and looked at me.

"I'll do it!" she exclaimed, grabbing a pan from where they hung above the bench, and filling it with water, placing it on the stove, and turning it on. She went around the cupboards and got out spices and vegetables for the sauce.

"Do you want me to help, love?" I asked raising an eyebrow as Bella ran around excitedly.

Bella shook her head "no. No I want to do this. If that's ok?" she ended in a question, and I walked over to her, kissing her forehead.

"Whatever you want love, I will let you have it."

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**Bella's POV**

After lunch, Edward cleaned up the kitchen while I walked around the house. I pushed open a door and gasped. In there was a four poster bed, with beautiful white comforter and matching pillow cases.

I went and sat on the bed and all but sunk into it. Lying down, and revelled in the softness. Sighing, I closed my eyes and slipped into a light sleep.

I woke up to another warm body holding me, and I turned to face it.

"Are you awake, love?" Edward's voice whispered from beside me.

I nodded into his chest as his hands ghosted over my back. He started applying a little bit of pressure, and rubbing. I sighed in contentment as sore muscles started to relax.

"Roll on your stomach?" Edward asked and I complied, letting him sitting over me and rub my back. I moaned as his hands worked on my lowered back.

"Edward..." I started.

"Mmm?"

"Can you massage... well... my whole body?" I asked, biting my lip and turning my hand to try to look at him. A blush took over my cheeks, and I felt ridiculous. Edward had seen so much of me before, but this would be the first time he'd seen me completely naked since Charlotte was born.

Edward leaned in and kissed my neck softly.

"Of course," he said, rolling me over gently, and unzipping my jeans, he pulled them from my legs.

Starting at the balls of my feet he rubbed gently, moving up to my shins and calf muscles, slowly working out the tension built there. Moving up to my thighs he ran his palms up and down the outsides, slowly, carefully, before gently squeezing his way down from my hips to my knees, and back up again.

He moved his hands to the inside of my thighs, and an uncontrollably jolt of desire ran through my legs, up to my core, making me moan in pleasure. Edward paused, and I looked down to see what he was doing.

He was staring up at me with concern filled eyes.

"Are you ok? Did I hurt you?" he asked frantically. It took all the strength I had not to slap him.

"Edward, I'm fine. It felt nice..." I replied, shaking my head incredulously.

"Oh..." Edward said softly, before saying "top off, love. And role onto your stomach".

I sat up and slid my jacket off, before pulling my top over my head. I felt immediately exposed, and pulled the comforter up to cover my chest.

Edward looked at me before shuffling over and kissing me gently.

"Please, don't hide from me. You are beautiful, Bella..." he whispered. I let the comforter fall hesitantly, and turned to lie on my stomach.

Edward's soft but strong hands ghosted over my shoulders, running gently down my back. He stopped at the bottom of my back and pressed down, running his hands out to my hips.

"Mmm... that feels good Edward. My hips really hurt" I sighed, revelling in the pleasure of having his hands on my body.

Edward spent a few minutes massaging and kneading my hips. I felt my entire body relaxing. His hands started to move back down, and to the inside of my thighs. I felt my legs part unconsciously, and Edward paused, before brushing his fingers gently over my panties.

I moaned as the electrical desire coursed through my body. I wanted him to touch me, but I knew that penetration would hurt too much.

Edward move his hands away from my centre, and back to my thighs. I groaned, and tried to push my self back so that his hands would touch me again.

"Edward... please..."

He needed no more coaxing, and his fingers slid under the material of my panties, pushing down gently on my swollen clit.

"Oh god!" I moaned as Edward moved his finger around in gently, agonisingly erotic circles. He lent down and kissed the back of my neck, sucking and nipping gently before moving to my shoulders and doing the same. His free hand sliding gently up my side, leaving a feeling of tingling fire in it's wake before moving underneath my body to take my breast in his hand. He pressed gently, running his fingers around my nipple in the same motion as he was my clit.

"Fuck..." I said quietly, enjoying the gentle, slow burning desire that was building in my stomach. Edward pressed harder on my clit, pinching it between his fingers and rolling it, making me cry out in pleasure as he brought me even closer to my climax.

"Bella, roll over, please" Edward whispered in my ear "I want to see you... you're beautiful"

Unable and unwilling to deny him, I rolled onto my back and looked into Edward's lust filled eyes. He was pleasuring me and asking nothing in return. It was almost enough to send me over the edge in that moment.

He leant down and kissed me gently. I opened my mouth slightly, grazing along his bottom lip with my tongue; Edward opened his mouth, and caressed my tongue with his. Moaning into his mouth, Edward rolled my clit between his fingers again. My stomach clenched, and toes curled. My back arched involuntarily as my orgasm took over my body. My cried were stifled by Edward's mouth as he slowly pulled his hand from my soaked panties and pulled me close to him.

I lay there in his arms as I came down from my high.

"Wow... Edward that was... thank you..." I managed to choke out.

"Bella, you don't have to thank me. Seriously." He said, smiling at me.

I strange feeling on my chest pulled me out of my high very quickly and I looked down to see breast milk running down my chest.

Grabbing up my shirt I wiped it off, a fresh feeling of embarrassment bringing me back down to earth and making me want to sink into the ground.

_Edward saw you like this... you lactated on his HANDS! _My mind screamed at me as tears started pouring.

"Oh my gosh... Edward I'm so sorry. Oh god," I stuttered, jumping off the bed,.

Edward stood up and grabbed my arms, stopping me from flailing them, trying desperately to find something to wipe my chest off with.

"Bella..." Edward whispered quietly, handing me a couple of clean tissues from the box next to the bed "it's ok... I really don't mind. It's actually... well in a weird kind of way it's absolutely beautiful..."

I froze, and looked up at him, eyebrows raised.

"What?" I scoffed incredulously. He had to be freaking kidding me. Beautiful?

"Well... I guess that it reminds me of what we have together. Bella we have a beautiful daughter, I'm going to marry you! We're a family! Hell it scares the fucking shit out of me sometimes! But the truth of the matter is that I wouldn't change any of it for the world. Even if that means a little bit of lactation now and again," he said, taking my hands in his and kissing my knuckles gently.

"You're really weird you know that right?" I said, looking up at him.

"No, I'm not. It's not weird to love someone so much that you won't be scared off by a little bit of... well... for lack of a better term – bodily fluid".

I took a deep breath and stepped toward Edward, leaning my head against his chest.

"I know, Edward. I guess I'm just scared because... well I'm not the skinny girl I used to be. I have stretch marks in places I didn't know I had to begin with. My breasts get lumpy and sore when I don't feed Charlotte on time. I have so many different things about me now, and I get scared that maybe you won't want this... maybe you'd want someone... better."

Edward wrapped his arms around me and held me to his chest.

"Bella, there is no one better for me. I really wish you could see that," Edward said, kissing my hair.

I nodded against his chest, trying desperately to believe his words.

"Bella you have to believe me! I love you. No matter what stretch marks – which by the way are no where near as prominent as you see them – or lumpy breasts, or any of that stuff!"

"Really?" I mumbled uncertainly against his chest.

"Really, Bella," he said gently "look at me, Bella"

I looked up at him hestitantly.

"Do I look like I'm lying to you? Have I ever lied to you?"

I smirked "well, actually. There was that one time, when you told me that you weren't horny..."

Edward let out a laugh.

"Yeah, ok. There was that one time. But in the past two years, since that one time, have I lied to you?"

Thinking about it for a moment, I shook my head.

"No. You haven't..." I said quietly.

"And I'm not about to start now."

"Ok," I said, stepping up on my tiptoes "I believe you" I murmured before kissing him softly.

"Good," Edward said smiling, kissing me again "now, you should get dressed. We have to get home, to our daughter. And of course the rest of the family, who have probably tried a thousand different outfits on Charlotte already."

I laughed, pulling away from Edward, silently mourning the loss of warmth.

"Dear god. Not the outfits. Imagine what Alice has done!" I said jokingly. We both knew that Alice wouldn't have redressed Charlotte. She really wasn't as into fashion and shopping as everyone made her out to be. Maybe a little over excitable at times. But not to the point she'd subject a baby to hours of outfit changes. I hope...

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**AN – holy wow. That was kinda long. Longer than usual at least. Please, feed my addiction. I'm a review addict. I bribe you with TEASERS! **

**So did you like the gently loving? *squee* gentle Edward is a loveable Edward. Don't we all want one?**

**Teasers for reviews my friends, I will give you a TEASER for a REVIEW. Ok. That probably isn't anywhere near as funny when you're reading it as it is in my head, but I'm rereading it with funny accents, so you know... just do that. Then it's funny. But seriously. Please review, and I will send you off a teaser :)**


	30. Lost

**AN – a freakin' huge thank you to everyone who reviewed last chapter. They really do make my day. Like, no jokes. I get so happy when I get review alerts. There's squee-ing, and clapping, AND I treat myself to a piece of chocolate for each review I get. :D**

**Best review for last chapter was soooo freakin' hard to pick. Fer cereal. You guys are totes awesome. In the end though I chose to give a shout out and thank you to SimplyDazzling.**

**Without further waffling from me, the chapter.**

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**Bella POV**

Edward and I pulled into the driveway and stepped out of the car onto the damp gravel. Rushing inside to avoid the freezing wind and drizzling rain, we threw our coats onto the coat rack, and shook the sleet from our hair.

"I swear it's even colder than last year!" I exclaimed.

Edward snickered, picking a piece of ice out of my hair. "Didn't you say that last year, love?"

I tilted my head from side, and stuck my tongue out at Edward.

"It's global warming. Making me freeze me toes off."

Edward just shook he's head, and wrapped his arm around my waist, leading me up the stairs. I walked quickly down the hallway. My baby girl was so close and for the first time since the day I brought her home, I wanted nothing more than to hold her, feed her, see her tiny cherub face. I opened the already ajar door to Carlisle's study to see Alice cooing over Charlotte in her portable crib. All but pushing Alice out of the way, I ran to the crib, and leaned in, stroking Charlotte's cheek gently.

"Hey baby, did you miss me?"

Charlotte poked her tiny tongue out of her mouth, and pulled it back in again. Watching a child learn about their mouth was nothing short of absolutely adorable. Giggling, I picked her up, cradling her carefully in my arm.

"How was your day?" Esme asked from the couch in the corner. I turned around, smiling brightly. I loved this high, and never wanted it to end. Realistically though, I knew I was going to come down eventually. I was determined to make it last as long as I could though.

Turning slowly to Esme, I walked to the couch and sat down next to her.

"It was amazing. No doubt you were in on the furnishings. I doubt Edward could put all of that together so well," I said. Esme smiled and nodded. "How have things been here? Was Charlotte good?"

"She whimpered a bit when you left. I don't think she liked not having her mommy around, but she quieted down not long after. She was fed about two hours ago, maybe a bit more, so you might have to feed her again soon."

I breathed a sigh of relief. My breasts were killing me, and the breast pump was not the most comfortable why of relieving that pain.

"Would it be strange if I said I was looking forward to that?" I asked Esme jokingly.

"Not at all. I completely understand how uncomfortable it is," Esme said smiling.

As if on cue, Charlotte let out a cry. I opened my shirt and unclipped my bra. Charlotte latched on straight away, and I silently thanked whatever presence may be out there. Glancing at the clock I saw that I still had two hours before my parents came.

_I wonder if Charlotte will sleep so I can have a nap..._

I started hoping, but didn't expect too much.

"Did she sleep much while I was gone?" I asked Esme.

"Actually, no. She was a bit restless while you were gone..." Alice piped up from her spot on the carpet drawing in her sketch book "she slept for half an hour or so just after lunch, but Emmett woke her up..." she continued, grinning slightly at something she must've been thinking.

Rolling my eyes I started thinking about how I didn't even want to know what Emmett had subjected for Charlotte too. My mind started running over the possibilities. Knowing my luck he was probably already showing her all the tricks he knew. I doubt he would take learning at an early age to a whole new level though.

"What are you drawing?" I asked Alice. She looked like she was concentrating on something with a lot of detail. Instead of talking, Alice turned the sketch book and held it up for me to see.

"Dresses?" I asked, cocking my head to the side.

"Yeah. I thought that with your wedding to help plan and all that I might as well get a head start on designs."

"Aren't we just going to buy all the dresses? There's a store in Port Angeles..."

"We could..." Alice started "but this way you can choose what you really want... the one I'm working on is what I might like for my dress..."

Looking over it I decided I really did like it. It was simple, halter necked, falling to just below the knee.

"Did you have any ideas for flowers? Colour schemes and all that sort of thing..." I asked just as Charlotte stopped suckling and started whimpering. Clipping up that side of my bra I undid the other and let her latch on and start drinking again.

"I did, yeah. Do you prefer purple or light blue, Bella? Alice asked from across the room.

I looked up at her, and then to both of the colours she was holding up in her hands.

"Alice, do I really have a choice?" I asked, raising my eyebrows.

"Yes, silly. This is your wedding we're planning for. I'm not going to take over completely..."

Grinning, I stuck my tongue out at Alice. I was all for being immature today.

"Ok then, Alice. Light blue. But not too light."

Alice nodded, and pulled out a colour pencil, and started shading the picture.

Charlotte finished feeding and I flung a cloth over my shoulder and starting to burp her. The feeling of being able to help her, make her more comfortable... it made me feel amazing.

A loud burp came from Charlotte and I felt wetness seep through the cloth and I rolled my eyes. Lowering Charlotte I pulled the cloth of my shoulder and placed it next to me. Esme picked it up and walked out of the room, to the laundry no doubt.

"You're a messy girl aren't you?" I cooed to Charlotte, wiping her mouth. A small bubble popped between her lips, and I felt a smile come over my face "you're beautiful, you know that? You're going to be a heartbreaker one day..."

Charlotte's eyes started drooping, and slowly closed completely. She was asleep. Picking her up, I walked out of the room and down the hall to my room. Placing her in the crib, I ran my finger gently down the middle of her forehead, and down her tiny nose.

"I don't hate you... you know that right? It's just... hard sometimes. I don't know what to do most of the time..." I wiped tears from my cheeks that I didn't realise I was crying "I love you..." I whispered before crawling into bed hoping to have an hour or two of sleep before my mother and father came round.

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_I ran from room to room, trying desperately to find Charlotte. She was no where to be seen. No one answered me when I asked where she was. How could I lose a baby? One minute she was in my arms, and the next she had just vanished._

"_Bella..." a soft voice whispered from down the hallway. Running down the hallway, I listened for the voice again._

"_Bella..." I heard again, this time louder than last "come on, sweetie."_

_My heart was pounding. I could feel sweat damp on my skin. My breathing was so fast it hurt._

"_Charlotte!!" I screamed out "some body, help me!" I screamed to the people lining the walls of the hallway "where is she?!" I screamed at the faceless person closest to me._

"_Why? It's not like you want her anyway..."_

_I tried to hit the person, but my arm was heavy. I couldn't move it._

"_You're wrong! I do want her! Give her back to me! Tell me where she is!" I sank down to my knees, sobbing painfully._

"_Please... I just want my baby..."_

_The floor started to shake, and a hole opened beneath me. I started falling into complete nothingness. There was nothing around me, nothing below me. It was a sea of gray._

My eyes shot opened, and I sat up so quickly my head started to spin. I felt a pair of soft arms around me, and I could hear whispers close to my ear.

"Where is she?!" I panted out.

"Bella, honey. It's ok. It was just a dream..." I heard the whispered voice tell me.

_It can't have been... it was so real..._

"Charlotte... she was gone. Please I have to see her. I need to know that..." I couldn't finish my sentence. I was choking on my words. Mom kissed my forehead, and swept a piece of hair out of my face. I shook off her affections and stood up off the bed to look around the room. I needed to see her. Now. In the corner I spied Edward cooing Charlotte. I could hear her soft whimpers. Edward started to walk toward me, and as he came closer I could see her face. It was red. She had been crying too. Edward gently lowered Charlotte into my arms and relief swept through my body.

"Oh thank god..." I whispered "I was so scared... please don't ever leave me again," I begged Charlotte even though she probably had no idea what I was talking about.

"Bella, I'll be downstairs when you're ready to come down..." I heard my mom say before walking out the door and closing it gently behind her.

Edward kissed my forehead and wrapped an arm around my shoulder.

"Are you ok, love?" he asked gently. I couldn't talk yet, so I just nodded mutely, staring at Charlotte, memorizing every detail of her face I could. I didn't want to forget. I didn't ever want to lose her.

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**AN – sheebus... poor Bella. A dream like that's so scary, trust me. What did you think? I promise we'll hear from Edward next chapter.**

**Please leave me love... I'll love you back with teasers. That's right; I'm still giving out teasers for reviews.**


	31. Embarrassing

**AN – ok, so thanks to people who reviewed last chapter. A bit of a fall in numbers, I didn't get to eat as much chocolate... my stomach hated you, but I didn't so it's all good *wink*. So, favourite review for last chapter goes to a new reviewer, BronzeHairedMystery. Not only for the cool arse penname, but the lovely review. Thank you!**

**I want you to all read and review this, and then, go read "Sewing the Wounds". It's in my favourites. Fer cereal, totes awesome. This chica needs more love than she's getting.**

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**Edward's POV**

I guided Bella toward to bed while she looked down at Charlotte. I tried to wipe the memory of her ear splitting screams, but I just couldn't.

I had thought she was hurt, I thought Charlotte was hurt. I had run up the stairs with Renee to find Bella thrashing in the bed, crying out for Charlotte, sobbing in her sleep. It broke my heart. Just as I went to comfort Bella, Charlotte started crying too. Renee sat on the bed, trying to wake Bella, while I walked from the room with Charlotte in my arms, trying desperately to calm her. There's so much pain in the world, so much to feel. But nothing could ever compare to the pain I felt when I heard the cries of my two girls. I wanted to help both of them at the same time. I rocked Charlotte gently as she cried; whispering that it was all ok, that mommy was fine and that everything would be just fine. Charlotte must've been able to sense the unease in me though, because as Bella's cries continued to filter through the closed doors, my heart was ripping itself apart.

When I eventually heard Bella's cries calm I walked back into the room to see her sitting up looking around desperately. Renee held her up to signal me to stay at the doorway and wait a moment. She was running her hand over Bella's hair, whispering that it was ok, that it was just a dream. But Bella continued to look around for Charlotte. After a minute Bella jumped off the bed and spotted me standing next to the door. Rushing over to me, she held out her arms. I lowered Charlotte gently into her arms, and placed my arm around her shoulders in an attempt to reassure her.

This was my fiancé, and love of my life. I couldn't bear to see her upset.

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Bella held, fed, and talked to Charlotte for an hour while I sat by her side, watching and placing small kisses on her cheek, shoulders, and head. Pride flowed through me as I watched.

"Edward..." she said quietly.

I turned my head toward her and waited for her to continue.

"I told Esme and Carlisle I want to talk to someone... a professional..." she said quickly, hanging her head. Taking a breath I filtered through the emotions that ran through me. Hurt, disbelief, relief, happiness, compassion...

"Oh..." I managed to say lamely "when?"

"I asked them this morning... they're going to try to set up an appointment for the day after tomorrow. Carlisle knows a psychologist at the hospital. I think it'll help, Edward..." she stood up and placed Charlotte back in her crib, before turning to look at me again.

"Ok..." I nodded "can I help? I mean, sure you'll see a psychologist... therapist... psychiatrist... whatever... but around here... you seem to be doing a bit better day by day. I want to help you..." I took her hands in mine and kissed them both gently.

"Today was good... I suppose just being around when I'm feeding. Letting me cry when I need to... I don't know... what you're doing already is pretty close to perfect, Edward".

"Ok," I said, sighing "I'll do whatever I can. I love you, you know that right?"

"Of course I know that, Edward. And I love you too," Bella said, kissing me gently "we should go downstairs..."

I nodded, standing, and picking up Charlotte. Bella stood and walked to the door, opening it.

"Shall we?" she said, taking a deep breath. We walked down the stairs to find the sitting room empty, walking into the dining room; we found everyone the table, with photo albums and loose photos strewn across the table. Emmett was looking embarrassed, and Rosalie was laughing so hard tears were running down her cheeks.

"What are you guys doing?" Bella asked.

"Oh my gosh. You guys have to see this!" Rosalie gasped through laughter. Bella and I walked closer to the table to see embarrassing childhood photos of Emmett, Jasper and I. My mouth hung open wide.

"No. Way. No! Mom. Please. Not the one with..."

"Oh, you mean this one?" she cut me off, pulling one out of under a pile of others and handing it to Bella, who had a wary look on her face.

"Bella, please don't..."

"Edward, shut up. If Rosalie got to see the one of my asleep naked with a bottle of wine in my hand, Bella gets to see that," Emmett snapped, obviously not so glad that Rosalie had seen that photo. Emmett had gone to the bin when he was about a year and a half out and gotten an empty bottle of wine out, pretending to drink out of it. This though... this was worse.

I watched Bella's face and she comprehended what was happening in the photo.

"You... peed on the cat?!" Bella asked, laughing.

"He what?!" Alice asked, jumping out of her chair and running over to Bella.

"Yeah..." I walked over to Charlotte's rocker and placed her in, fastening the straps, and sitting in the chair closest to it.

"But... why?" Bella asked still laughing, shaking her head incredulously.

"I was three! I don't think the why was going through my head at the time!" I buried my head in my hands, mentally cursing my mother for showing Bella that photo.

"Oh come on, Edward. When Charlotte is older, you'll have just as much fun embarrassing her with funny photos. You have to admit peeing on the cat is a little bit funny," Dad piped up from across the table.

Looking down at Charlotte who had woken up and was looking up at my face now in wonder, I whispered "I promise I will never let anyone inflict this much embarrassment on you, ever."

"We brought some of Bella, too" Renee said. My head shot up, and a grin spread over my face.

"Show!" I said, holding out my hands, grinning evilly at Bella, whose eyes now resembled saucers.

"No! No no no no no!" Bella said, desperately trying to grab at the photo that Renee had just passed me. Looking at it, my mouth fell open wide, before I belted out a laughter that would rival Emmett.

"Ok, peeing on a cat is nothing compared to this! Bella, you never told me you enjoyed riding animals... Naked," I teased and watched as a blush crept over Bella's face "whose dog is this any way?"

"A neighbour's," Charlie said, almost smiling.

"You know, I have a funny photo of Esme here," Carlisle said "anyone want to see that?"

Seeing this as the perfect opportunity for revenge, I piped up "I'd love to, dad" I said.

"I have to go check on the roast," Esme said timidly before running out of the room.

"I think I have one of Renee in here somewhere too..." Charlie said, filtering through photos, before picking up one.

"I have to... go help Esme," Renee said, running out of the room after Esme.

_This is going to be good..._

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**AN – LMAO. Can I just say that shit happens? I've been embarrassed way too many times by parents. The peeing on the cat was something my brother did once. It happens. Children are strange.**

**So, review, and I will give you a teaser. REVIEWS = TEASERS.**


	32. Fever

**AN – dear god, grant me the beauty of SLEEP. **

**Ok, so it's 2:30am, and I am wiped now, but here is the chapter, and I really hope you like it. This is dedicated to alicecullenobsessed. I posted this a day earlier than planned so that she will hopefully get to read it before she goes away. Hope you like. Thanks to PhilCaspar for staying awake with me to get this posted. He's totes my moral support. He cheers for me. Pompoms and miniskirts and all ;) mwahaha.**

**Favourite reviews last chapter are (I picked two, cos I couldn't choose. I swear the coin I flipped landed on its side. Although I might've been hallucinating... hmmm) by angelbaby696 and Cleo's Cooper. Thank you girls, you made my day with your amazing reviews.**

**Also, to everyone who shared their hilarious baby moments, thank you! You made me laugh my arse off for hours. It was great!! And one more thing, welcome to all the newcomers I've been getting!! :D**

**LAST THING I SWEAR – god read Sewing the Wounds, you'll find it in my favourites. It's awesome. I love it.**

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**Esme's POV**

I rushed into the kitchen, desperate to get away from the photos being passed around. It was all fun and games. Until Carlisle found the photo of me... I crouched down and peered into the oven to keep up the pretence of checking on the roast in case someone came in. I knew it wasn't done yet. Standing back up, I was startled to see Renee all but running into the kitchen with a flustered look on her face.

"They got you too did they?" I said, laughing. I grabbed the bottle of wine and poured a bit into two glasses, sliding one toward Renee, saying "you're going to need it".

Renee took the glass gratefully and lifted it to her lips, taking a long sip, before placing it back down and sighing.

"How bad is the one of you?" she asked, smiling a bit.

Laughing again, I took a long sip, mimicking Renee.

"Horrible," I replied, rolling my eyes "and yours?"

Renee replied by shuddering, followed by laughter.

"It's of me when I was 20. We all know the fashion then left something to be desired, but I think I might have been one of the people who went a little over bored with the bright pink latex leggings, and fluorescent shirts... that, and I was on top of a bar, dancing" Renee said, closing her eyes, embarrassed.

"Oh dear..." I said "mine is of me when I was about 30. Edward would have been 5 or so at the time. I thought it would be a fantastic idea for Carlisle and I to go out with some friends for the evening. One thing led to another, and I fell in the pool. It doesn't sound that bad, but it's more than unflattering. I managed to take down the pool chair with me," I finished, gulping down what was left in my glass.

Renee patted my shoulder comfortingly "it's ok. We have naked photos of them to show to anyone and everyone if we want. Like bath photos. There's a photo of Bella in the bath with bubbles stacked on top of her head, and all over her face. She was claiming that she was Santa" Renee sighed "so... how's she doing? I get the feeling things aren't fantastic at the moment. I've never been fantastic at emotional support".

"Yeah... she's not doing great. She's getting a little better day by day though. I'm a little bit worried, but she came to Carlisle and I this morning after snapping at Alice, and asked to see a therapist" I sighed, and started to chop up some vegetables as we talked.

"A therapist?!" Renee exclaimed "It's that bad? Why didn't she tell me? I'm her mother! She should be able to talk to me!"

I took a deep breath. Renee was obviously upset, but I knew any answers I could give her would upset her further. This was something Bella needed to tell her about, when Bella was ready.

"I'm really sorry, Renee. I can't tell you anything else. It's not my place to. Perhaps you could talk to her a little later on. Lord knows she could use you right now..." I trailed off, and turned to busy myself by looking in the cupboards for seasoning. I wasn't normally cowardly, but I knew what Renee must be feeling. I would feel the same way.

Renee just nodded, and picked up a knife, helping me chop up the pumpkin.

**Bella's POV**

Edward and I sat next to each other at the table, with Charlotte asleep in her rocker between us. The photos of our respective mothers were hilarious, but far too disturbing. Basically just things we didn't need to know about our parents. And it was all dished out in horrible fashion and pool furniture. Shaking my head, I glanced at the clock. Mom and Esme had been in the kitchen for nearly an hour now, and I couldn't help but wonder what they were discussing. The paranoia in me hit me immediately, and I worked hard to tell myself they weren't talking about me. Edward reached his hand over, and placed it on my leg, giving a gentle squeeze.

He lent over and whispered in my ear "what's worrying you, love?"

I shook my head, and whispered "nothing" patting his hand in reassurance. Of course it was Edward, and he saw straight through my lies.

"Come, on. Let's go into the kitchen," he said, standing. I stood with him, and picked up Charlotte gently, cradling her in my arms and rocking her as she woke up slowly. Once she was awake she looked up at me, and my heart lifted slightly. I smiled down at her, before looking up and walking into the kitchen. There, standing around the kitchen bench, fed faced, laughing, with a nearly empty bottle of wine between the, was Mom and Esme. Esme beamed when she saw me, and rushed over to coo over Charlotte. Shaking my head and laughing, I went and sat at the kitchen table, Edward sitting next to me, and taking Charlotte into his arms.

"How's dinner going?" I asked as my stomach grumbled.

Esme looked at the clock, and opened the oven to check something.

"It'll be about fifteen more minutes. Have a banana if you're hungry," the mother in her came out, and I couldn't help but giggle. I picked a banana from the bowl in the centre of the small table.

Mom came and sat at the table. Edward looked between us meaningfully, before standing up, handing Charlotte to Mom, and walking over to Esme to help her make a salad. Why we were having a salad when it was freezing outside was beyond me, but each to their own I suppose.

"So... how are you going sweetheart?" my mom started awkwardly, and I was torn between laughing at her awkwardness or being touched by the concern she was showing.

"I'm going ok, I suppose. Thing's have been hard, but they're getting better..." I said, not lying completely, but sugar-coating things a little bit "erm... I'm seeing a therapist later this week..." I threw in before I could censor myself. I started slapping myself mentally, but then I noticed the lack of surprise on her face.

"But you already knew that, didn't you? I suppose I didn't really expect you to not find out," I said, rubbing my forehead a little bit as a headache came over me.

"Yeah... I did, sorry. Please don't get mad at Esme. We were just talking and it came out," Mom said "I'm glad you asked for help though..."

I nodded, and took a bite of banana, unsure of what to say. It had always been awkward talking to my parents about emotional issues. Mom opened her mouth slightly to say something, just as Edward came over with a bowl of dried apricots. Smiling at him, I picked one up, and tossed it in my mouth, savouring the tangy taste.

"Mmm, you're so good to me," I said, winking at him as he leant down to give me a soft kiss.

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After dinner Edward and I sat on the couch, as Esme and Carlisle cleaned the kitchen. Mom and Dad went home a few minutes ago, and everyone else had gone to their respective rooms to 'talk'. I was starting to get a bit sleepy when I ran my finger over Charlottes forehead. I paused, and wondered if I had imagined it. My heart sped up as I placed two fingers on her forehead. I gasped, and Edward turned to me quickly, a panicked look on her face.

"What's wrong?"

"Edward. Her forehead. She's hot..." I said, terrified. My baby was running a fever and was drowsy. She hadn't cried for her feed yet, and normally I would have fed her over two hours ago.

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**AN - *gasp* What do you think is wrong!!?? Tell me your theories!!! REVIEW FOR TEASERS!!**


	33. Take A Seat

**AN – I do apologise for the slightly longer gap between updates. I think I sent everyone their teaser. If not, I apologise profusely. I have to say I think one or two of you got the answer to Charlotte's fever right. So congratulations. You'll know who you are by the end of this chapter.**

**CONTEST INFORMATION – A few friends and I (The Peenaters) are holding an Alice/Jasper smut writing contest. Link to the details is at the top of my profile. Please check it out!**

**Shout out to chatterly. Welcome back bb! Thank you for your review, and I'm glad you enjoyed the chapters you got to catch up on from your time away!**

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**Edward's POV**

"She does?" My heart started racing and I reached a hand out to feel Charlotte's forehead. She was warmer than usual. Biting my lip I ran through the list of possibilities. It could be an infection of any kind. She could just have a cold, although it's a bit early and she hasn't really been exposed to anything.

"Edward, what do we do?" Bella asked in a panicked voice. I wanted to calm her down, but truthfully I was just as scared. Perhaps it was simply that we were knew parents and were worrying over everything little thing, but I just didn't want to take that risked.

"Come with me, we'll get Carlisle," I said gently. Bella had tears in her eyes as she started to stand up.

"This is my fault, Edward. I'm being punished," she said quietly, the tears starting to fall.

I placed a hand gently on her shoulder and said "Bella, you have nothing to be punished for. I promise you it's not your fault. It's probably nothing anyway." We started walking out of the room only to find Carlisle walking past the doorway.

"Carlisle!" Bella called out urgently. He turned around and looked at us.

"What's the matter, Bella?"

Bella opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out. Instead I said "Charlotte's got a bit of a fever, we were wondering if you could take a look at her for us?"

Carlisle smiled gently, and took Charlotte from Bella's arms. "Follow me." Taking Bella's hand we walked to Carlisle's study where he kept his medical kit.

"Bella, would you mind undressing her while I set this up?" Carlisle asked as he opened the black case that you might see on old television shows with a doctor who did house calls. Bella gently unwrapped the fabric around Charlotte, and took off her pink jumpsuit that said "Daddy's Princess". Carlisle turned around with a thermometer in his hand.

"You're going to have to take her diaper off too in a few minutes. I have to take a rectal temperature," Carlisle said as he put on a pair of latex gloves.

"Why?!" Bella and I asked at the same time.

Carlisle smiled gently, and placed a hand on my shoulder. "It's ok, son. It's the most reliable way of taking a newborn's temperature. It shouldn't hurt her, although it might be uncomfortable."

After a few minutes Carlisle instructed Bella to remove Charlotte's diaper, and to place her face down across her lap.

"Ok Bella. I need you to support her head with one hand, and firmly place your other hand on the base of her back." Bella did this and Carlisle smiled at her comfortingly. "Perfect." Squeezing a little bit of lubricant onto the thermometer, Carlisle slid the thermometer into Charlotte's rectum slowly. Charlotte started to cry, and I wanted to tell Carlisle to stop.

Just as I was about to ask Carlisle to stop, he spoke. "Try soothing her. Talk to her gently. We really do need to find out what her temperature is."

Bella hummed "Lullaby for a Stormy Night" to Charlotte, and she started to relax a bit, although small whimpers still came. I knelt in front of Charlotte's face, and gave her a gentle kiss on her forehead. Three quick beeps came from the thermometer, and Carlisle removed it. I watched his face, and my heart started to race as he frowned.

"What is it?"

"99.6 degrees…" Carlisle said, jotting something down on a piece of paper. "It's not terribly high, but I would really like to keep an eye on it over night and take her in to see the paediatrician first thing tomorrow morning." Carlisle cleaned and disinfected the thermometer, placing it back in its casing. "Do you want me to tell you how to take her temperature, or would you rather wake me up every time Charlotte's awake for a feed?"

I looked at Bella, who shrugged, telling me that it was my choice. I looked at Charlotte who was starting to doze off in Bella's arms. I couldn't do that to her. I couldn't cause my daughter any sort of discomfort or pain. "Would you be able to do it?" I asked him.

"Of course," he said, nodding. I knew he probably understood why I didn't want to do that. "Try to wrap her lightly." Carlisle stood up and gave me a hug and Bella a gentle touch on the shoulder before leaving the room.

Bella redressed Charlotte and stood up with her in her arms. "Come on, Edward. It's going to be a long night. We may as well get some sleep while we can."

**Bella's POV**

Charlotte's temperature reading had only calmed me slightly. It was still high, and I was constantly worrying. Every time she cried I was pulled out a restless sleep. Her temperature didn't drop, but it didn't get any higher until breakfast the next morning. It hit 100 degrees. Edward threw out the rest of his toast, and Carlisle, who was already awake and dressed, helped us get our things in the car and head to the emergency department. He kept reassuring us that these things happen, that it probably means nothing, or that if it does mean something, it's probably not serious. I tried desperately to believe him, but I couldn't.

The one thought kept running through my head. 'This is all my fault'.

Within ten minutes we were sitting in the paediatric ward, with Charlotte in a tiny cot. She was in nothing but her diaper, and the paediatrician was on his way down to examine her.

Suddenly the door opened and an older doctor walked in, shaking Carlisle's hand.

"Bella, Edward, this is an old friend of mine. Dr. Wells, this is my son, and his fiancé."

"What can I help you with today?" he asked.

"Our daughter, her temperature hit 100 degrees about half an hour ago. It had been relatively stable all night before that." Edward stepped toward Charlotte's cot and reached down to touch her hand.

"Has she been fussing at all? Showing any signs of pain?"

I thought about it for a moment, and came up with nothing.

"Not particularly. She's been feeding a little bit less often than usual though," I said, looking at the doctor trying to gauge his reaction.

He nodded, and picked up a pen and the Charlotte's chart. "I'm going to order a couple of blood tests, if that's ok with you. I'd also like to get a urine culture." He wrote something down quickly, and placed the chart back next to the cot. "The best way to get urine from a newborn is to insert a needle directly into the bladder."

My hand automatically squeezed Edward's tighter, and I stared at the Dr. Wells. "Won't that hurt her?"

"It probably will hurt a little bit, yes. But newborns have a much higher pain threshold, for the most part, than adults do."

Edward nodded, and squeezed my hand reassuringly. "Ok then. How long will those take?"

"A nurse should come in soon to take some blood, and the urine sample; after that, maybe a couple of hours on the tests." Dr. Wells nodded at Edward and me before leaving the room.

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The wait was agonising. After the nurse took the blood and urine sample (during which Charlotte only fussed a little), Edward and I sat in the chairs and paced the room. Charlotte cried a bit, only adding to my anxiety.

After about two hours Carlisle, who had gone to do something else, came in and asked to speak to me for a moment. Edward stepped out of the room, and Carlisle motioned for me to take a seat.

"I've organised for you to see the psychologist this afternoon. It was today, or wait a week for the next available appointment." Carlisle looked at me. I felt like the breath had been knocked out of me. I knew that I was going to do this, but I didn't think that it would be for another couple of days. I suppose in a way it was good that it was today, because quite honestly I was scared, upset, and anxious. The progress I had made yesterday seemed to be slipping away quickly. Nodding, I stood and started to pace the room.

"What should I expect? What are they going to ask me?" I asked Carlisle, wringing my hands together.

"You'll probably just go through some routine stuff. You might have to fill in a couple of questionnaires about how you've been feeling over the past little while. Most of all it will give you a change to talk to someone detached from the entire situation. I think getting it all off your chest will help," Carlisle said, leaning back in his chair.

Taking a deep breath I nodded. "Ok… what time?"

Carlisle glanced at a piece of paper in his hand. "2pm." Glancing at my watch I saw that it was nearly midday.

There was a knock on the door, and Edward entered with Dr. Wells. My heart started racing again, and my stomach felt like it was trying to dispel what little I had eaten that day.

I felt Edward's arm wrap around my shoulders, and I leaned into his embrace, leaving one hand resting on the side of the cot where Charlotte lay.

"What did the results say?"

Dr. Wells smiled. "There was no sign of infection. The initial tests of the urine were clean. I'd like to take her temperature one more time, and provided her temperature is decreasing, I'd be inclined to say she's healthy. Perhaps she was wrapped too tightly, too many layers, or perhaps the heating was on too high. Newborns aren't as able to regulate body temperature as older children and adults are."

Dr. Wells took Charlotte's temperature one more time, and smiled. "It's 99.1 now. I'm happy to discharge your daughter if you are."

Letting out the breath I'd been holding I nodded. "Thank you."

x-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------x

"I'll be just down the hall with Charlotte if you need anything," Edward reassured me as I stood outside the door to the psychologist's office. Elizabeth Lubor; it was an interesting last name, as Edward had pointed out in his attempts to make me laugh, or at least calm down about this whole situation a little bit.

I kissed Charlotte's forehead, and Edward caressed my lips gently with his. "It'll be ok, love. I'll be right here when you finish. I love you."

"I love you too," I whispered, before turning to knock on the door. After a few moments it was opened by a frazzled looking woman with a heap of documents in her arms.

"Um… hi? I'm Bella… Swan. I have an appointment that Carlisle Cullen made for me." I looked around what I could see of the office. Eccentric was one way to put it. Two lava lamps resided on the bookshelf; there was a couch with wool throws over it and a couple of cushions.

"Oh; of course! Come in!" The woman stuck out her hand. "I'm Elizabeth." I took her hand hesitantly before she motioned toward the couch.

"Take a seat."

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**AN – a longer chapter as a sorry for taking a couple days longer to update. Please review. Remember REVIEW = TEASER. As always.**


	34. Talking Can Do A World Of Good

**AN – holy crappen. Guys, thank you soooo much for all your reviews last chapter. You blew me away with all your kind words. I made a few mistakes with temperature conversions last chapter, so I apologise. I was working without the internet while writing that, so the calculations were entirely from my memory of grade 8 math.**

**Best review last chapter... has to go to DrTammy1511 for having the balls to tell me I screwed up the temperature, and why. Guys, constructive criticism is good... as long as I'm not PMSing. Which I'm not, so you're safe!**

**MASSIVE PROPS to my man down under (that sounds way dirtier than what it actually means), PhilCasper, for helping me with the counselling session. He's studying, like me, to be a counsellor, so thank you Phil for treating me to your expertise and know-how!**

**Sorry about the wait on this. As I said in my review replies, I was practically bedridden with the flu for most of the week. When I was up, I had RL stuff to do, as well as stop neglecting my other stories.**

**So without further ado, on with teh chapter!!**

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**Bella's POV**

Taking a seat, I felt my stomach do back flips. I couldn't do this. I can't. I have to go.

_NO!_

My mind yelled at me, telling me to ignore the other part of it. I wanted to scream back at it. I wanted to tell it to come to a damn decision. While I was deliberating on what to do, Elizabeth sat down on the chair in front of me, and pulled out a folder that seemed empty, for the most part.

"I'm going to be taking notes throughout the session. If at any point you'd like to see what I'm writing, I can do that."

I nodded at her, and looked around the room. I had always imagined a Freudian couch, and the rest of it to be a completely sterile place. But the office had warm lighting, and the couch, though old, was comfortable.

"How was the ride in today, Bella?" Elizabeth pulled me out of my thoughts.

Taking a deep breath, I spent a few moments thinking about my answer to the simplest question. "Actually, I've been here since early this morning. My daughter was a bit sick..."

Elizabeth's face didn't seem to register any shock, so I assumed she must've already known. "She's doing a bit better now, I hope?"

Nodding I said, "oh yes, she's fine. It was nothing bad in the end. She was just over bundled." I wasn't sure what she'd think of that. What if she thought I was a bad mother because I had put her in too much clothing? I didn't mean to. I spent the next ten seconds fighting off a panic attack.

Instead of accusing me of anything though, Elizabeth just smiled and said, "That can happen with young children. How old is she?"

"Nearly a week now." I found myself smiling at the thought of my daughter. It didn't seem like nearly a week had passed since she was born.

"She's very new then. You must be very proud." Elizabeth smiled at me before writing something down on her pad of paper.

"She is beautiful." I thought about Charlotte's soft thin dark brown hair, and her beautiful eyes. She had her father's eyes.

"So tell me, Bella. What can I help you with today?" Elizabeth asked the question I had been dreading. This meant we were getting into the hard stuff. I didn't know how to put how I was feeling and what I wanted from this in words.

"Um... well..." I hesitated. "Actually, I've been feeling a bit down since Charlotte was born."

Elizabeth just nodded her head, and jotted something down on the paper again. "A lot of young mothers can have trouble adapting to a new child. It's a big change in a young woman's life. Not everyone copes as well as others," Elizabeth said.

"I suppose," I said while I fiddled with the hem of my shirt. "It's just that sometimes I cry over the smallest things. I want to scream at her sometimes. It just seems wrong. I love her, don't get me wrong about that, but sometime's it's like everything is too much..." I immediately felt my chest lighten as I got these words off my chest.

Elizabeth didn't write anything down this time. Instead she was looking at me intently, as though what I was saying was the most important thing to her. It was a bit disconcerting. "Do you feel this way about Charlotte all the time?"

Thinking about it a bit, I realised that the answer was no. I didn't feel like this all the time "No, not all the time, but a lot of the time. Although it does seem to be getting a litter easier sometimes."

"What is it that's getting easier?"

"Getting through the moments when I want to scream and cry..." I felt tears starting to form. The feeling of failure fresh in my mind from this morning.

"Do you have any good times with Charlotte? Times when you don't feel like screaming or crying?"

I didn't even have to think about the answer to that. "Definitely."

"Do you know what is different between the times when things are good and the times when things are not?" Elizabeth asked, leaning forward a bit in her seat.

"Um..." I stopped to think. I really didn't know what it was that made it easier. "I don't really see any particular difference. I suppose some days I am just more able to deal with everything."

"It sounds like you've had a pretty rough week. How do you feel personally? What impact has this had on you, on your health and your peace of mind?" Elizabeth asked while making a note on the paper.

"I feel drained. Like no matter how sleep I get I'm never refreshed," I said, picking up a tissue to wipe the tears that now fell.

"Is that feeling of being drained always the same each day, or do you sometimes feel a little bit refreshed?"

"It's just the same thing, everyday."

I could slowly feel myself becoming more comfortable talking with Elizabeth. I had expected it to take longer, but so far she seemed as though she really died care about what I was saying.

"Well I'm glad you came to see me so soon, Bella," she said with a smile. "It sounds like you're in a bad place just now, but I think we can help you get through this. Bella, are there any other people in your life who know what you have told me?"

I thought about it a bit. There was Edward, but I hadn't told him everything. Esme... she seemed to understand, and I had told her most of it.

"Edward, my fiancé, knows some of it... although I'm not sure he completely realises how bad it feels. I suppose Esme, Edward's mother, would know the best..."

"And what about your own mother? Other family or friends? How much do they know?" She asked.

"My mother knows I'm seeing someone. And so do my other friends. But I haven't really told them the details."

"How comfortable do you feel talking about this with them? Do you think they'll be willing to help you through this too?"

I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself. The idea of talking to other people about this was nerve racking. But I could see why she was suggesting it... I think.

"Maybe I could talk to Alice a bit. She's Jasper's, that's Edward's brother, girlfriend. She is also probably one of my best friends, I suppose."

"It helps to have people to confide in, Bella. People you can talk to other than me. We might even be able to bring some of them in here in future, if you are willing, to help us put together a plan for the next few months."

"Ok... I suppose I could do that. What sort of plan do you mean?" I was confused. I didn't know what sort of plan she meant. Was it to do with me? Or looking after Charlotte? Both? Did she want me to part with Charlotte?

"Well you still have a child to care for Bella and i'm sure you want the best for Charlotte as well as yourself, yes?"

I felt myself start to become angry. "Yes, of course. I wasn't saying that I didn't..."

"I know you weren't Bella," Elizabeth said calmly. "The plan I was referring to is how the important people in your life would aid you in caring for Charlotte and supporting you when you need it. That way we can work on making you better, and ensure that Charlotte is well cared for as well."

"Ok..." I said lamely, not sure what else I could say.

"Do you have anything you would like to ask me?"

I thought, trying to figure out if there was something I was meant to be asking. My emotions were so strong that logical thinking seemed impossible. I spent a few moments trying to calm myself and collect my thoughts before I answered. Once I had decided that I really didn't think there was anything else, I answered. "Not really..."

"Has this been useful for you, coming in here today?"

I smiled, and answered, "I think it's given me a bit of hope..."

Elizabeth seemed pleased. "That's good. We'll make another appointment to meet in a few days in a moment." She paused to write something down again. "What I'd also like to do is to arrange a few tests for you, bloods and such, just to discount any biological causes for your feelings and to get a better idea of what's going on. We should have the results next time you come in. How does that sound?"

"Um... yeah... bloods are fine... What sort of biological things could there be to explain this?" I'm sure my confusion showed on my face.

"It's just a precaution. There's no sense going through an involved process with me if it turns out to be something simple to solve, yes?" Elizabeth smiled at me gently. "There are certain things that can contribute to your feelings as well - vitamin/mineral deficiencies, hormonal imbalances, and so on. Having this information will help us map out the best way to proceed. You don't need to worry; you're in safe hands here."

I believed her, and smiled back. It felt good to be able to smile.

"Ok... yeah we can do that," I answered her original question.

Elizabeth got out a card and said, "Let's make that appointment then, shall we?

"Yeah, that sounds good," I said as Elizabeth flipped through her diary to the 29th of December.

"Are you free for an hour at 11a.m. on the 29th?"

I nodded, and she wrote down the date and time on her card.

"You can just meet me here again then. Feel free to bring someone along, but you don't have to."

"Thank you..." I said quietly, taking the card from her outstretched hand.

"I'll see you then, Bella." Elizabeth walked me to the door and placed a hand on my shoulder. "Good luck."

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**AN – whatcha think? As always... REVIEWS = TEASERS. Cos I give out like that ;)**


	35. Belief in Promises

**AN – No long AN this chapter, just a thank you all for your wonderful reviews last chapter.**

**Best review last chapter – Quisler. Read it to see why :P**

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**Bella's POV**

Edward and I waited to meet Carlisle outside the staff cafeteria of the hospital. Charlotte had been fussing while I was with Elizabeth, and it was good to have my baby back in my arms. Edward's arm was tight around my shoulders, and I could feel his smile against my hair as he kissed my head gently.

"What's got you so happy?" I asked teasingly.

"Nothing," he said, still smiling. "You're smiling at her, you know? You seem so much lighter after that session... like you feel a little lighter... does that make any sense?"

I looked up at Edward. "It does. I do feel a little bit better. I suppose talking helped a bit." I smiled at him, and went to say more, but the cafeteria door opened, and Carlisle came out with a colleague laughing after something. He waved goodbye to him, and turned to face us.

"Ready to go?" Carlisle clapped his hands together, and we followed him out to the car. The drive back home was relaxed. No one spoke, but it wasn't awkward. As we started to near home, Carlisle smiled at me in the rear view mirror.

"How did it go today, Bella?" Carlisle indicated to turn onto the road leading to the house.

"Good, Elizabeth was very nice..."

"Well that's good. I've spoken to her a few times, but never really had a proper conversation with her. I've been told she's good at what she does though." Carlisle looked at me again, and I nodded at him, smiling.

I was glad when we pulled into the driveway. It's not that I didn't want to talk about it. I was simply exhausted, and hoped to get Charlotte upstairs and into her crib without waking her. Hopefully then both Edward and I could have a few hours sleep.

Edward stepped out of the car and took Charlotte out of my arms so I could pick up her diaper bag.

"Did you want to have a nap, love?" Edward asked. "I don't mind staying up to look after her."

I smiled at Edward. "I'd love a nap, but perhaps you could come with me? Charlotte looks like she's ready to sleep after a feed."

Edward grinned and nodded.

We made our way into the house and upstairs. I fed Charlotte and changed her. After burping, Charlotte was asleep within minutes. I smiled, relieved. I slipped off my jeans and slid into bed. Edward came out of the bathroom in just his boxer, and I felt my breath hitch. I was mentally cursing the doctors for saying I should wait six weeks before having sex.

_Of course that doesn't mean I can't please him in other ways..._

I grinned to myself as he slid into bed next to me. I propped myself up on my elbow and let my gaze fall to his bare chest. This man really was a god. Edward looked at me, and I leant down to kiss his neck. I ran my tongue along his neck down to his collar bone, where I nibbled softly.

**Edward's POV**

Bella's tongue running along my neck made my cock turn instantly rigid. I wasn't sure where she was taking this, and didn't want to push her. But I couldn't suppress a groan when she nibbled at my collar bone.

I felt Bella giggled against my skin, and I couldn't resist flipping her over and kissing her. Her lips moved against mine and my hands travelled lightly up her body from her waist. They stopped to tangle themselves in her hair, making Bella moan into my mouth. I went to move my left hand to her breast, but Bella smacked my hand away and broke the kiss. I looked at her questioningly, wondering what was wrong.

"No way in hell, Edward. This is about you. I want to _please_ you." Bella grinned at me, and took the opportunity of my shock to push my back over so I was lying on my back with Bella straddling my hips. The comforter fell off her shoulders to reveal she was only wearing a t-shirt and a pair of panties. It took all my will power not to thrust up against her.

Bella leaned down and whispered in my ear. "Let me please you, my love." With that I grabbed Bella's shoulders and pulled her to me, kissing her roughly.

"Whatever you say, Bella," I growled into her mouth. Bella kissed down my chest, pressing her body against mine. I sucked in a deep breath when she licked at the skin just above my boxers. She pressed one palm against my erection through the fabric. My hips bucked against her hand and she grinned up at me.

She slid one hands beneath the elastic of my boxers, and pulled them down agonizingly slowly. When she finally got them down, she positioned herself on her knees between my legs and bent down. I hissed as she ran the point of her tongue from the base to the tip of my cock, and back down again.

"Fuck, Bella…" I groaned as she took me in her mouth, sucking her way down and back up again. Bella hummed as she used her hand to rub the base of my cock she couldn't fit in her mouth. I knew that if she kept this up I wasn't going to last long.

My hands found themselves tangling in Bella's hair gently, not pushing; just enjoying the feel of her hair as she moved her mouth up and down my shaft. Bella started moving her head up and down faster in response to my hands in her hair, and automatically my grip tightened. Her hum's and the movement of her mouth and hands made my balls start to tighten.

"Ung… fuck!" I groaned as Bella scraped her teeth lightly along my shaft. She sucked harder and faster, and I started to thrust up into her mouth, unable to suppress the groans as I felt my orgasm grow closer.

Bella grabbed my balls in her free hands and rolled them around in her palm. My cock twitched, and before I could pull out I had exploded into her mouth. "Fuck!" I moaned as Bella continued sucking, milky my cock. Swallowing, Bella sat up and reached for the glass of water on the nightstand, grinning at me.

"Thank you love," Bella said, smiling at me and lying down next to me. I pulled her into my arms and ran my hands through her hair.

"What are you thanking me for?" I asked incredulously.

"Letting me please you. I know how… selfless… you can be. I really wanted to do that." She said, resting her head on my chest.

"Well shit, Bella. That was amazing." I kissed her hair and smiled. "I'd be willing to be less selfless," I joked. Bella whacked my chest lightly.

"I'm sure you would. Get some sleep while we can love…" she said tilting her head up to look at me. I gave her a gentle kiss and stroked her cheek.

"I love you…"

"And I love you, Edward."

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A cry woke me from my slumber. Prying my eyes open I looked around to see Bella still sleeping soundly next to me. Charlotte's cries filled the room. I stretched and slid out of bed, throwing on a pair of jeans and a shirt quickly. I picked up Charlotte from her crib and rocked her gently.

"Shh… Princess. Mommy is sleeping." I continued to rock her, but Charlotte continued to cry. Sighing, I looked over at Bella to see her starting to stir. "Come on, let's see if we've got a bottle for you in the fridge," I whispered to Charlotte and walked out of the room quietly.

I walked down the stairs and into the empty kitchen. Glancing at the clock I saw it was just coming up to 6p.m. Smiling at the fact Bella had gotten at least a few hours solid sleep, I grabbed a bottle out of the fridge and stick it in the microwave for 15 seconds. I grabbed it out and poured a drop on my wrist.

"Ok, baby girl, you hungry?" Leaning back against the counter I coaxed the teat into Charlotte's mouth, and watched as she began to suckle. I smiled as I watched her drink. I held the bottle in her mouth until she started spitting it out again. I chuckled as she started squirming.

"Ok, ok. I get it." I placed the half empty bottle on the counter and grabbed the nearest clean wash cloth, slinging it over my shoulder. "You gonna spit up on daddy?" I teased as I started patting her back gently.

I heard soft footsteps and the door of the kitchen swung open to reveal a bedraggled looking Bella.

"Evening, love."

Bella just grunted and walked over to the tap to get herself a glass of water. When she had woken up a bit more she turned around to look at Charlotte and me.

"Did she wake up?" Bella asked, rubbing her eyes. I nodded and was about to say something just as Charlotte burped and I felt warmth seeping through the cloth.

"Good girl," I cooed as Bella took Charlotte from me so that I could clean myself up.

"You know, only parents could find that cute," I heard a voice behind me say, making me jump.

"Holy crap Alice, could you possibly make some sort of noise when you're walking so people know you're coming?" Bella said.

_My sentiments exactly._

"Fine, I'll hang a bell around my neck next time."

Bella giggled as Alice walked up to us.

"Can I hold the angel?" Alice asked, stroking Charlotte's cheek gently.

Bella nodded, and passed Charlotte to Alice.

"So, Bella… I was thinking…" Alice said slowly.

"Oh shit…" I muttered, earning myself a muffled giggle from Bella.

"Oh shut it, Edward." Alice glared at me. "As I was saying; I was thinking maybe if you're up to it we could do some wedding planning?"

Bella looked at me, "You can come help us if you want!"

"Oh god no. I'll be fine without playing with colours and fabrics with Alice."

Bella shuddered exaggeratingly and giggled a little.

"I'll go find Jasper," I said, kissing Bella's forehead and doing the same to Charlotte.

**Bella's POV**

I followed Alice into the study to find fabric colours strewn around the room, and pictures of different floral arrangements. Within the clusterfuck of a mess I could make out different bridal magazines, and I was suddenly overwhelmed by an urge to run away from everything that has to do with fashion.

"Alice, why can't you just pick everything out for me? I promise not to complain..." I begged her as she sat on the couch.

"Bella, just sit down and hold your daughter. You don't have a choice in this. It's now, or later."

Rolling my eyes I knew she was right. There was no way I was getting out of this.

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The rest of the evening passed in a flurry of wedding plans nursing Charlotte. Eventually Jasper came to steal back Alice, and I got to escape to find Edward. It didn't take long. I walked out of the room to find Emmett chasing Edward down the corridor with a water gun that he'd got for Christmas. Why anyone would think of giving Emmett a water gun is beyond me. Why'd they'd give anyone a water gun in the middle of winter is insane. Yet here he was, trying to squirt Edward from the other end of the hallway.

"Emmett Cullen! So help me god! If you squirt that thing inside one more time I am going to kill you!" we heard Esme yell from somewhere upstairs.

"I swear she has eyes everywhere!" Emmett said, grumpily storming off.

"Thank you, mom!" Edward held his hands up to the ceiling. I laughed and walked over to him.

"Are you safe, love?" I asked jokingly.

"I'm not sure. I think I was hit!" Edward said dramatically clutching the wet spot on his chest.

"Poor baby..."

Edward narrowed his eyes at me and stuck out his tongue.

"That's mature," I said, rolling my eyes. "Come on, let's get the actual baby upstairs to bed."

Edward placed his hand on the small of my back and walked upstairs with me.

"So how did the planning go? Anything I need to know?"

"We've decided on white lilies for the tables at the reception. There will be daisies for the bridesmaid's bouquets' and a mix of white and light pink roses for mine. Alice says we need to decide on a place to have it... I was thinking we could just have it here, in spring. What do you think?"

"Bella, anything you want to do, I'll go along with it. I think that here would be nice... then we could just have the reception here as well. I'm sure Esme would be ecstatic if she got to redecorate... again."

I laughed and I placed Charlotte in her crib. "That's true." I took a deep breath. "Edward... Elizabeth suggested something today..."

Edward looked up at me intently, telling me to go on with a nod of his head.

"Um... well... she suggested bringing someone with me next time... you know... to talk about things. I was wondering if..." I trailed off.

"If I'd come with you?"

I nodded, wringing my hands nervously.

"Of course I will. Were you actually thinking I wouldn't? I'd do anything to help you, love. Please tell me you believe that?"

I stood there, looking at my find. Unable to answer truthfully. Did I really believe he'd do anything? I knew he wanted to help me, but at times I felt alone.

Edward stepped toward me and held my face in his hands, trying to get me to look at him.

"Bella, please! Look at me..."

Reluctantly, I lifted my head to look at him.

"Bella, I would do _anything._" Edward sighed and let go of my face. "I love you, Bella. Do you believe that?"

I snapped my head back up again to look at him.

"Of course I believe that! And I love you!"

"Then tell me what I have to do to make you believe me?"

"I don't know, Edward..." I sat on the bed and looked up at him. "Maybe... maybe you just need to bear with me. Maybe there is nothing you can do to convince me. I just need to know someone is there by my side... not matter what shit happens."

"Of course I will be here by your side."

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**AN – please review. Reviews = teaser. I'd love to make it to 2000 reviews... that would be fuckawesome.**


	36. Is The Truth Better?

**AN – Thank you all SO MUCH for helping me get to 2000 reviews. I'm freaking ecstatic. This chapter is about 1000 words longer than the rest. I wanted to make it even longer, but I fail. I hope you enjoy this.**

**Best review last chapter FolsomBoogie, for pointing out where else could we give Emmett a water gun but in fanfiction?! It's true and it made me laugh so hard. I wrote that part as just a bit of comic relief and I'm so glad everyone found it so funny.**

**Enough of my rambling, on with the chapter.**

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Bella's POV

The next few days passed quickly. I didn't know where the time went, but at 3a.m. on Thursday morning I found myself waking up as Charlotte's cries began. Sighing, I slid out of bed and fed her silently, not wanting to wake Edward. Eventually Charlotte was quiet and her eyes drooping as sleep began to take over again. Smiling in contentment, I placed her in the crib and walked to the bathroom. I was happy that the bleeding was starting to slow, but it still required multiple trips to the bathroom. I began to wonder how Edward could've touched me that day while I was bleeding so profusely. I suppose he wasn't fazed by it. I sat on the edge of the bathtub and put my face in my hands.

Even with Edward's constant reassurances that he was there if I needed to talk, I still found it difficult to broach the subject of loneliness. Something just told me he wouldn't understand. Amazingly, I wasn't tired, so I walked back into the room, grabbed my diary, and left the room to sit in the barely used nursery. I began to write a list of things I wanted to talk about in the session with Elizabeth later today.

The feelings of emptiness and loneliness made the top of the list, followed by my inappropriate frustration and anger when Edward said and did little things. I know he meant nothing bad by them, if anything, he thought they would help. But telling me that I was doing better sometimes made me feel like I had something to live up to the next day, and the day after that. I felt tears start to fall as I wrote about feeling so isolated, even though I felt suffocated at the same time. I stopped writing and snapped my diary shut as I heard footsteps just outside the door, and a soft knock on the nursery door. I wiped my cheeks, trying to hide the evidence of my tears and softly said "yeah?"

The door opened gently, and Edward walked in looked at me worriedly.

"Are you ok?" he asked walking toward me. I nodded and held up the diary.

"I was just writing down some things that I want to talk about today... you know... with Elizabeth there..."

Edward bit the inside of his cheek and nodded. I knew that he almost wished I could just talk to him without having to use a psychologist as a mediator of sorts, but at the same time I knew he was just thankful that we'd be talking about something.

"Ok... are you coming back to bed?"

I resisted the urge to yell at him. I know it was irrational to be angry about something so simple, but at the moment I just wanted to be writing this down. Taking a deep breath, I calmed myself.

"I'll be in soon, ok?"

Edward seemed to get the hint, and leaned in to kiss my head gently. "Ok, love. Take your time..." With that, he left the room. Despite my internal willing for him to leave, suddenly to room seemed even emptier than it did before. It was almost metaphorical. Like the room was telling me if I keep pushing people away, eventually I'll just end up completely alone.

_Great, Bella. Now the room is telling you things. That's fantastic._

I sat by myself, staring at the beautiful, unused, room that I was sitting in. Minutes passed, and slowly I felt myself starting to grow tired. Eventually my eyes started to droop, and my body was begging me to return to the safe, warm confines of my bed.

"Fuck it," I muttered to myself. I picked up my diary and pen and walked back to the bedroom. Glancing at the bedside clock, I saw it was now closer to 4a.m. I'd been up for an hour without realising the time had passed. If you were to ask me, I would've said it had been ten minutes, maybe fifteen.

I placed my diary and pen on the bedside table, and slid carefully into the bed. Immediately I felt Edward's warm arm wrap around my waist, pulling me closer to him in my sleep.

_Maybe he is just worried I'll leave. Maybe even in his sleep he's scared I'll disappear. Maybe... maybe he does understand a little bit..._

I drifted off into an uneasy slumber, tossing and turning with dreams that did nothing. Nothing happened. In them I was just standing still, outside, looking up. The sky was black; there was nothing around me as far as the eye could see. No trees, no houses, nothing. I woke again once just after six to feed Charlotte, and then continued to beg my mind to let me sleep.

Eventually 8a.m. came around, and Edward woke. I feigned sleep as he brushed a lock of hair from my face and gently stroked my cheek. Eventually he left the bed with a sigh, and I heard the shower turn on. Edward showered quickly and came back in the room to dress. Minutes later he walked out of the door, leaving it slightly ajar behind him. Something he didn't normally do.

I sat up in bed looked over to the crib to see my daughter, sleeping soundly, wrapped up lightly. I was glad that she didn't seem to be dreaming of monsters yet, if she was dreaming at all. Something about knowing her mind was peaceful made me feel lighter, and I found a small smile gracing my face, despite my otherwise emotionally and physically exhausted body.

I heard the door push open again, and looked to see Edward walking in with two steaming mugs, and a plate resting on top of one of them. His skills at balancing things never ceased to amaze me. I would've tripped up the stairs or dropped the plate already. Upon seeing I was awake, Edward smiled at me and walked over.

"Hot chocolate for you..." he placed the plate free mug next to me on the bedside table. "And... chocolate chips muffins!" He grinned at me like the Cheshire cat, and I raised an eyebrow.

"Chocolate chip muffins and hot chocolate for breakfast?"

Edward nodded sheepishly. "I thought you'd like a muffin. Esme must've baked them last night. I snatched two before Emmett woke up."

Smiling at his thoughtful gesture, I picked up the hot chocolate and brought the mug to my lips, taking a tiny sip. It was still boiling, and burning my tongue would ruin the good mood that seemed to be rising.

"What are you drinking?" I asked, already knowing the probable answer.

"Coffee... Sorry love..." Edward smiled apologetically at me. I'd been craving coffee since Charlotte's birth, but knew it wasn't a great idea to drink it whilst breastfeeding. Scowling playfully at him, I picked up one of the muffins and took a bite.

"Mmm..." Edward had warmed them up, and the chocolate chips had melted, making them run into my mouth.

"Good?"

I nodded at Edward, taking another sip of my hot chocolate. "Delicious... thank you..." I said softly, looking at the plate.

"That's ok, love. Sorry you couldn't have coffee."

I shrugged and took another sip. "At least the caffeine addiction is way out of my system now," I said, grinning.

"True. So what time is this appointment again?"

"Um... 11... So we should leave here at 10:30... Are we bringing Charlotte?"

"Would you like to?"

The thought of being away from Charlotte today scared, and so I nodded slowly. "I... I'm not sure I can leave her... not today..."

Edward nodded his understanding, and leaned in to hug me. But, as if on cue, Charlotte's cries filled the room, begging for the attention of her mommy and daddy. Attention that was taking away from the little time we got to spend together in the first place.

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Edward and I made our way through the hospital doors, Charlotte in my arms, refusing to sleep. I think she could sense my apprehension, and it worried her too. I was glad we had 10 minutes to spare, because making our way to the psychology department proved more difficult this time around. Apparently hospitals enjoyed confusing patients.

Eventually we found ourselves knocking on Elizabeth's office door. A few seconds later, Elizabeth opened the door.

"Edward, I assume." She held out her hand with a smile on her face before she turned to me.

"And this must be the little one."

I nodded, and Elizabeth peered over to look at Charlotte's face, grinning. "She is a beauty isn't she?" I smiled back.

"She is indeed."

"Ok, come in." Elizabeth walked in and held the door opened for us before closing it again.

Edward sat next to me on the couch, awkwardly looking around. I could tell this wasn't his thing, but I really was glad he was coming along anyway.

"Ok, how about we start with a little bit about you two..." Elizabeth looked between Edward and me. "How long have you been together?"

"Nearly four years now," Edward answered quickly. I knew he could probably tell her the exact amount of days. It was just something Edward was good at. He kept track of the time more closely than I did. I'd almost missed our three year anniversary because I didn't realise the date.

"That's a long time for a young couple. And you're engaged now?"

I nodded. "We've started planning the wedding, although a date isn't set as of yet."

"Ok. So how have the past few days been for you, Bella?"

_Into the psych shit now._

"They've been... okay, I suppose. I've had my ups and downs, but I'm still here aren't I?"

"And it's great that you're still around. I'm happy that you decided to come to this appointment today. What about you, Edward?" Elizabeth looked at Edward. "How have you been coping the past week?"

"I've been doing okay as well. I mean... it's been hard, ups and downs, as Bella said. But I'm coping alright."

"So is there anything is particular you'd like to talk about today?" Elizabeth asked.

"Actually, I wrote a few things down. Edward, would you be able to hold Charlotte for a minute?"

Edward grinned and gently lifted her from my arms. Charlotte started to stir, but Edward quickly calmed her. Reaching into my handbag, I pulled out my diary, opening it, and glancing over the list.

"I suppose a good place to start would be emotional stuff..." I ran my finger along the line describing how I've been feeling. I'd like to explain to Edward some of these things. I realise we haven't been very good at talking to each other about it, mainly because I'm scared to."

Elizabeth nodded. "I think that'd be a good place to start too. Perhaps you'd like to first tell Edward why you're scared to talk to him about these things?"

"Well..." I thought for a moment. Why am I scared to tell him? Is there something in particular? "I suppose that I'm just scared that he won't understand. That he..."

"That I won't understand?!" Edward exclaimed incredulously.

Elizabeth shot a look between us, possibly trying to decide if she needed to intervene. Edward looked at me, his eyes full of disbelief.

"Edward, please; just let Bella talk." Elizabeth shot Edward a stern look, before turning back to me and smiling. "Bella, Edward does have a point though. Perhaps you should explain to him just how you feel..."

Taking a deep breath I tried to calm myself, yet again. Edward wanted to know, he wanted to understand, and I wanted to tell him.

"Edward, I want you to understand. I want to tell you, I really do. I'm just scared that it's too much. I'm scared... I'm scared that you'll run."

"Ok... but I promise there is nothing in this world that could make me run from you." Edward looked into my eyes, and I saw that he believed his words. But how could he be so sincere when he didn't know what I thought, what I felt?

"Ok, so let's move onto something you want to tell him, Bella. Maybe you could start with your feelings about being a new mom?"

I nodded, reading my diary again. My words were clearer when I wrote them down. This was going to be hard enough without having to explain myself again and again, trying to make what I was saying make sense.

"I'm scared, frustrated, upset, and tired. I don't know what to do with myself. I feel so over my head in everything. I feel like I'm drowning, and no one is coming to save me." I kept my eyes focused on the page, avoiding looking at Edward. I didn't want him to see the pain in my eyes, even though this session was about opening up. I suppose that most of all, I didn't want to see the pain in his eyes. I didn't want more guilt. I couldn't handle that.

"Do you want someone to save you?" Elizabeth asked.

_Do I? Do I want to be saved or do I just want to drown?_ I couldn't give an answer. I didn't know. I knew I wanted the feelings to stop. I also knew that there were days I wish Edward would sweep me up off my feet and make everything better. But I also knew that I had to do most of this myself. I had to be my own strength, because other people's strength only lasts so long. I couldn't bring everyone else down with me.

I whispered, "I don't know..."

"The other day you said you want to get better. Is that still the case?"

I nodded. I definitely wanted that. "Yes, but I don't know how. And I don't want to bring everyone down with me if it doesn't work."

"I would prefer to be on the ground with you than looking down from above knowing I'm powerless. I want to help Bella. Please just let me..." I brought my eyes up to meet Edward's. He was glancing between Charlotte, asleep in his arms, and me. "I know you think you're no good with Charlotte, but you should see yourself with her. You're amazing. She is quieter with you than with anyone else."

"Bella, would you like Edward to tell you how he feels when he sees you upset?"

I nodded again.

"Edward?" Elizabeth prompted.

"Well... it breaks my heart. You've always been so full of life, so... accepting of everything that happens. You were always my strength, when I was weak. Now all I want to do is help you, but you won't let me. It hurts. But what's worse is that I don't know what to do to help if you do let me." Edward's voice was soft, and I could hear the tears threatening to fall. My gaze dropped again to Charlotte as I spoke.

"We can work on that... I just don't want you to do everything. I still want to be able to do some of this on my own... I need to help myself as well."

"Do you have any ideas on how Edward could help?"

"Well... what he did this morning was really sweet. He brought me breakfast in bed; chocolate chip muffins and a hot chocolate. It cheered me up... just small gestures like that; but not all the time. Because a thousand small gestures feel... suffocating. The other night you picked up Charlotte when she was crying, and you let me sleep. That was nice... Like I said, little things make all the difference."

"Ok." Edward's voice was laced with sadness. I knew it hurt him to know he couldn't make me feel better with a snap of his fingers. Maybe....

Charlotte's cry broke through and stopped my thoughts. Edward tried rocking her to quiet her but her cries continued.

"She needs to be fed..." I said. "I'll just take her outside for a bit. Would you like to stay here, Edward?" I asked, silently hoping he would.

"I'd like to have a talk with Edward while you do that, if you don't mind?" Elizabeth said. I nodded, and took Charlotte gently from Edward's arms.

"Is there a room around or something I can do this in?" I really didn't like the idea of breastfeeding in public. I know a lot of women did that, and honestly, I thought it was amazing. I could barely stomach the thought of Edward looking at my breasts, let alone hundreds of strangers walking the corridors of this hospital.

"Oh, yes. If you walk down the corridor, to the left there's a restroom for mothers."

I smiled, and stood to walk out the door.

I found the restroom and sat on a vinyl chair. Flicking the latch on my bra, I held Charlotte up and she latched on quickly.

"It's a bit scary in there isn't it?" I whispered to her as she suckled.

**Edward's POV**

"So how are you coping with this session, Edward?" Elizabeth asked me. "You seem a bit uncomfortable."

"I'm just worried of saying the wrong thing," I replied, already missing the feel of Bella by my side.

"It's better that you be open than to just say what you think Bella wants to hear. You'd be surprised. A lot of the time people just want to hear the truth."

"But I'm scared that the truth, that telling her just how much I was worried, would upset her even more. I don't want to push her even deeper."

"How are you handling everything? Truthfully."

"I find looking after Charlotte easy enough. Sometimes I get frustrated and tired. Sometimes I want to scream. But most of the time, I'm just marvelling at how Bella and I created a being so beautiful."

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The session with Elizabeth finished soon after Bella came back. We were both under instructions to talk to each other when we felt upset or if something was worrying us. I couldn't stop thinking about the sadness in Bella's eyes as she had admitted how she was feeling.

The next few days passed quickly. We set a date for the wedding. April 10th. Esme was ecstatic that we had decided to have the wedding here, and was planning the rearrangement of furniture for the reception already. It would be spring, so Bella and I hoped we could have the wedding in the garden. Bella and I brought in the New Year, 2010, vowing to be honest with each other, no matter what comes, and I knew we would both keep our pact.

I woke on the morning of the 1st of January to a sheet of snow covering everything outside. The window sill was white, and the glass fogged up. It was one of those days that you just wanted to stay in bed and hold the one you loved. Bella woke not long after I did. Of course, Charlotte quickly followed. By 10a.m. Bella and I were sitting on the nursery floor, Charlotte lying between us in her little bassinet staring up at the mobile turning and playing an unidentifiable lullaby.

"Perhaps... maybe it's time that Charlotte sleeps in here?" I broached the subject gently, knowing that if I was apprehensive about it, Bella was likely to be ten times as much.

My worried were confirmed as Bella answered, "But what if she cries? What if she needs us Edward?"

"We have a baby monitor. We'll be able to hear. She'll be just two doors down the hallway from us."

"Edward... I don't know. I'm not sure I'm ready for that just yet."

Bella had made progress over the past few days, but it was clear to anyone that the anxiety and depression still loomed, threatening to break her down at any moment. For this reason, and the fact I was reluctant to be separated from Charlotte myself, I decided to leave the conversation for the moment.

"Okay... but we both know it has to happen sometime, Bella," I said gently.

She nodded. "I know, Edward. Just not yet, please..."

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**AN – The story is drawing to a close. We're in the home stretch now, with probably another 5 or 6 chapters to go.**

**Please review. Review=Teaser, and I love every single review I get. I tried to think of a witty analogy, but once again failed.**

**REVIEW=TEASER**


	37. Witty Repartee

**AN – No long AN. Just an apology. Internet down. Then doc uploader on FF down. Oh, yeah. And a whole lotta work. It all equals a long update time. But here it is.**

**Best review goes to ****andee823**** for the comment on how to make funny analogies. If my witty comment at the end sucks, blame her ;) *snort* NOT REALLY. But yeah, totes awesome. Thanks bb.**

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**Bella's POV**

Charlotte is now a month old. I've been going to therapy for the majority of that time... twice a week, for the past three weeks. Edward told me he'd like to move Charlotte into her own room, but it made me think. What is the actual age we should move her? I _know_ she's too young. I've told Edward that. He gets it. I think. But Charlotte's age and her own room has brought me to Carlisle's study door today. I lift my hand up to knock just as Alice run's past with a quick "hi, Bella!"

My hand faltered, and I walked away with a sigh. Everyone else has started school again; even Edward, although he's only going two days a week to satisfy the headmaster's expectations. There was a new headmaster, who was a lot more understanding and accepting than the last. She was letting me stay home and study. If I turned up for exams, and submitted all my assessment, she was willing to be lenient. I was grateful. I wasn't ready to leave Charlotte for a whole day, and I certainly didn't want to bring her to school yet. I wasn't ready for the prying eyes of the entire school body.

Anyway, back to the therapy. It has been helping, really. I'm starting to smile more, and I even laugh (genuinely) occasionally. I wouldn't say I'm recovered. I'm still depressed. But I can deal with it. I can get through a day without crying now. Elizabeth says it's going to be a slow recovery, but that I'm doing well. She's become a great support. It is fantastic having someone I can talk to without fear of judgement.

I've been talking to Edward more too. It's tough opening up to him completely, but it's getting easier, day by day. I have kept my side of the pact to be honest, for the most part. Some days it's harder than others, but I still try.

Charlie has been making more of an effort over the past couple of weeks, but I know it's hard for him to help emotionally. That's just not the sort of person he is. I know he loves me, and seeing him once a week is enough for me to feel wanted. It's so much more than some people have.

Elizabeth and I have been working on a type of therapy called radical acceptance and gratitude. Basically accepting a situation for what it is, and seeing if it can be changed. Also being grateful for what is good, rather than focusing solely on what is bad. She says that doesn't mean I should be discounting the bad things altogether. Just making sure I realise I do have some good things. For example; a loving fiancé, and his supportive family; a mother and father who love me; friends who want to see me happy; and, of course, a beautiful, healthy, daughter.

With everyone being at school today, it was just Esme, Carlisle, and I. Carlisle has work in the afternoon. But until then, they plan to take me shopping for new clothes for Charlotte. The idea makes me cringe, but she's growing so quickly! We are going to meet up with my dad for lunch at the diner in Forks.

I walked into the kitchen and flicked the switch on the kettle. I knew I had to go back in to have this damned conversation with Carlisle, but I needed something to do with my hands while I was in there. Hot chocolate was my form of liquid courage. It made me think of Edward. The thought of Edward always did have a way of making me more courageous.

After making the hot chocolate, I walked slowly to Carlisle's office again. Taking two deep breathes, I knocked, and waiting for Carlisle to tell me to come in.

"Come in," Carlisle's voice said from inside the room. I opened the door slowly and walked in. Carlisle was sitting in a leather chair by the bookcase, an open book in his lap.

He looked up. "Ah, Bella. How can I help you?" he asked, lacing this hands in his lap. He reminded me of an elder, a wise man from some unknown culture.

"Um... I was wondering if I could talk to you about Charlotte..."

"Oh?" Carlisle motioned for me to continue.

"Well... Edward and I have been thinking... and I know it's not time yet... but when... what age... should we move Charlotte into her own room?"

Carlisle nodded. "Well, really there's no set date. But I'd still recommend waiting a couple of months more at least. Experts are divided. Anywhere from three to six months. Some even recommend waiting a year. Personally I think that's too long. Edward and Emmett were in their own rooms by four months. Jasper took a little longer."

"So... you're thinking a couple more months at least?"

I can't explain how happy I felt knowing that we should be waiting longer anyway. I didn't want to let Charlotte go yet, and somehow moving her into her own room made me feel like I was putting a huge wall in the way of the progress I'd been making with her.

Carlisle nodded again. "I'd say so. I think the progress you're making now is excellent... I just don't think you two are ready for that step yet. It's really hard, and the undue stress would be... detrimental. But that's just my opinion. I really think you should ask Elizabeth when you see her again."

"Ok... thanks." I turned to walk out the door.

"Oh, and Bella?"

I stopped and turned to look at him again.

"You're doing great."

I smiled at him, unsure of what to say. I nodded and walked out of the room.

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"What about this one?" Esme held up a jumpsuit with flowers on it. I suppressed a shudder and shook my head. It's not that it wasn't cute. It's just that I really could not, in any crazy alternate universe, see Charlotte wearing something with pink and purple frangipanis on it.

"Bella, you have to pick _something_."

I had two outfits slung over my arm, neither of which I had chosen. Nothing I saw suited my little girl. Charlotte, who was being pushed around in her new pram, seemed to have her own mind about the clothes already. Whenever I held up something, she'd wrinkle her nose and start to fuss, as if to tell me 'oh hells no, mom. You can't make me go out in that!' Damn stubborn child. She must've gotten that from me.

"Ok! Fine!" I threw my hands in the air. "I'll pick something."

After strolling around the pathetically tiny baby's clothes section of the department store, I decided this wasn't the place I was going to find clothes for my little girl.

"Esme, Carlisle!" I called out. Esme turned around. "I'm going to take Charlotte and go to another little store I saw down the street."

"Did you want me to come with you, dear?"

I shook my head. "No thanks. I'll meet you out front of here in half an hour?"

"Okay! Have fun!"

I placed the outfits slung over my arm back on the stands, and pushed Charlotte out the front door.

"Come on, little one. Let's find you some proper clothes."

I found the store quickly. The huge sign saying "Baby's Got Style" with "No One Put's Baby in the Corner" in smaller letters beneath it kind of gave away its location. Anything that managed to work a _Dirty Dancing_ quote into the title was okay by me.

Smiling as I walked into the store, I took a look around.

"See, this is more like it. None of that trust fund baby crap," I whispered as I leant down to make sure Charlotte was still ok.

As I turned around again, something caught my eye.

It was a stand with jumpsuits. Each of the jumpsuits were various colours of the rainbow, with funny sayings on them.

I riffled through and picked out some that I like. They said "expensive but worth it", "I replaced the dog", "9 months in the womb, I can survive anything", "I knew I didn't look like a sea monkey", and finally one that said "this is the oldest I've ever been". I giggled and placed them over the handle of the pram.

_Much, much better._

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**AN – Review for Teaser. Reviews make me happier than fuckawesome baby jumpsuits with witty repartee.**


	38. Come a Long Way

**AN – Ok, ok. I know, I fail. I fail harder than the Blues seem to have failed playing the Maroons. But most of my readers aren't from Australia, so they won't understand that analogy. Suffice it to say that my favourite football team has sucked lately and made me sad. I too, have sucked, and made me sad. This update took ages, and I am so sorry. I am bombarding all my readers with hugs and chocolate.**

**People have been asking if I plan on writing a sequel. In all honesty, no. I have another 5 stories already in progress on this site, and others with the first few chapters written. So... yeah. Sorry!**

**_VERY IMPORTANT_** - **I am writing an entry for the Age of Edward contest. I'm super excited, so add me to your author alerts if you want to read it when it's up!**

**Edward's POV**

"Bella, you need to help me with this! I don't want you to be disappointed on your wedding day!" Alice's voice rang around the room as I sat on the couch watching Alice and Bella sort through different wedding plans and bridal magazines. Bella was looking on with disinterest, and Alice, obviously, was getting frustrated. I knew Bella was excited about the wedding; it was just that Alice had taken every night of the past week from her. I had lost interest two nights ago. I knew Bella wouldn't be far behind me. We will get married, but it doesn't have to be a lavish ceremony. As long as Bella is standing before me as my bride-to-be, that's enough for me. Plus, the wedding is still months away.

I've been back at school for a week and a bit now, and every minute I was away, I missed my baby girl and fiancé. It hurt to know that I was missing little things. I wanted to spend every day at home with them, but Bella all but threw me out the door each morning. Most likely because she knew if she didn't there's no way in hell that I was going to leave.

"Alice, can we please just leave this for tonight? I'm tired, I'm cranky, and Charlotte is finally asleep. I just want to go to bed." Bella rubbed her face and yawned as she spoke.

Alice huffed. "Fine. But I get to keep you on Sunday. Plus, we need to set aside a weekend to go into Seattle. Dress shopping, Bella."

"Yes, ok. Sunday. I'll figure out Seattle later." Bella stood and looked at Alice. "But now, I am going to bed." She looked at me, and then down at Charlotte who was sleeping soundly in her carrier. "Do you think you can carry her upstairs without waking her?" Bella asked tiredly.

I picked up the carrier and started walking. "Let's see, shall we?" I took Bella's hand in mine and we made our way upstairs, all the while I made sure to keep a hand on Bella's back. She was even clumsier when she was tired.

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"Bella..." I said softly. "Bella, wake up love..."

Charlotte was crying and nothing I was doing was calming her. Bella was in a deep sleep, and I felt bad for waking her, but there was no more breast milk stored, and it was obvious Charlotte needed a feed.

Bella started to rouse, and her eyes opened slowly. She quickly became more alert as she saw Charlotte crying in my arms, her tiny face scrunched up and red.

"Oh, sweetie, come here..." Bella held her hands out to take Charlotte from my arms. I watched as Bella tried to feed Charlotte. I could feel her frustration as Charlotte refused to latch on, and I could see Bella starting to get more and more distressed.

"Edward, why won't she feed?! What am I doing wrong this time?!"

"Bella..." I said softly. "You're not doing anything wrong." I swept a strand of hair off her face, kissing her temple gently. "Relax, love," I whispered as I stroked her back softly. Slowly Bella started to relax and Charlotte stopped squirming, gently latching on and starting to suckle. Bella breathed a sigh of relief and I smiled against her hair.

"See? You're perfect..." I whispered against her hair. She was truly the most perfect thing I'd ever encountered; the only thing that equalled her was our beautiful daughter.

I was so proud of the progress Bella had been making. Little things that I hadn't even noticed before started to improve. Bella was laughing more; she was smiling and coming out of the house with me more often. The process was slow, but I was more than happy to help her through it. I was determined to help her.

Bella yawned as Charlotte stopped feeding. "You're so high maintenance, you know that right?" Bella said to Charlotte with a sigh. She kissed Charlotte's forehead. "Good thing I love you."

I smiled to myself as Bella lifted Charlotte up and started to pat her back gently. Charlotte gurgled and squirmed. "Oh boy, I think she's gonna vomit," Bella said quickly, and I grabbed a towel off the night stand and moved behind Bella just in time to place it on her shoulder.

"You're so charming," I said to Charlotte as her eyes started to droop closed. I carefully took the towel to the bathroom and rinsed it out. I could hear Bella stand up and place Charlotte back down in her crib. She whispered something to her that I didn't hear. Bella's soft footsteps came closer to the bathroom, and I turned to see her standing in the doorway looking at me intently. I smiled nervously at her.

"Hey," I said. She giggled a little.

"Hey yourself." Bella took two steps toward me. "I can't wait for the end of this week."

I raised an eyebrow at her. "Why? Are you actually looking forward to dress shopping with Alice?

"Guess again," she teased with a grin. I thought for a moment. What could possibly be happening at the end of this week? Charlotte was one month a week, so it wasn't that she would be two months yet. We were going up to see Renee and Phil some time soon, but not yet...

_Oh... OH!_ It clicked. I pulled Bella closer to me, pressing my body against hers as I kissed her neck gently.

"Six weeks?" I whispered as I nibbled gently. Bella moaned softly, making me want to ravish her.

"Mmhmm..." She pushed on my shoulders gently. "And if I'm going to wait until then, you're going to have to stop that."

I pouted at her playfully and she smacked my shoulder. She turned to walk away, but as she did I could've sworn I heard her mutter, "Idiot..." with a small laugh.

**Bella's POV**

Five and a half weeks. I couldn't believe that after the weeks flew, the last few days were dragging. I missed Edward. I see him every day, and hold him every night, but I missed making love to him, and I'm positive he felt the same way. My suspicions were confirmed as he pulled me against his body and nibbled at my neck. I could feel his erection pressing into my stomach. I knew that if he didn't stop that we weren't going to make it to the end of the week, so I pushed against his shoulders, breaking his contact with my body. My entire being cried at the loss of contact.

Edward pouted at me. I turned to walk away, muttering "idiot" under my breath playfully. He was so damned adorable sometimes. I slid into bed, and waited for Edward. The moment I felt his body next to mine, I slipped into a deep sleep.

Waking the next morning, I groaned and rolled over to have a look at the alarm clock. It was just 6a.m., and Charlotte was fed at 4a.m. I had about half an hour, maybe an hour if I was lucky before she needed feeding again. I decided to take this opportunity to have a shower and relax a little. I was going to see Elizabeth again today, and Edward was going to spend the two hours I would be gone with Charlotte. I knew it was going to be hard on me, to be away from her, but at the same time it was almost a test for me.

I walked to bathroom, discarding my clothing; I grabbed my razor and shaving foam, and turned on the shower. I stepped under the cascading water, tipping my head back and relishing in the feel of the water on my body. I slowly massaged the shampoo through my hair, the sweet coconut smell filling the air. I leaned back so that my hair was under the stream again and rinsed it out. I sighed in contentment as I grabbed the sponge and placed body wash on it. I took my time rubbing it over my body. Just as I leant down to rub the wash over my legs I heard a constricted cough coming from the doorway. Smirking to myself, I slid the shower door open and peaked out to see Edward looking uncomfortable but trapped in his current position leaning against the doorframe, his erection straining against his pyjama pants.

"Good morning," I said as I grinned at him. He simply nodded at me, swallowing roughly. I shook my head at him and closed the door again. The need to shave my legs was overpowering my urge to have him in the shower with me. Besides, this was my time. Just as I finished shaving my legs I heard Charlotte's cry emanate from the bedroom. I quickly rinsed my body one more time before stepping out of the shower and drying myself. Wrapping a towel around me, I walked into the bedroom to see Edward desperately trying to calm her.

"She needs to be fed..." I said as I walked over to Edward.

"I know... I just wanted to let you have more time to yourself."

I grinned to myself at his gesture. "Thank you, but I'd pretty much finished anyway." I smiled gently as I took Charlotte from Edward.

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"How are you today, Bella?" Elizabeth asked as I took a seat on the couch I'd come to know so well. Over the past month more things had been added to her office, even a drawing that I'd done. It was juvenile, but I was having a bad day once, and during an appointment with Elizabeth I sat there and drew for the hour. In the end I came up with a bad drawing of a girl sitting in the corner of the room with her legs hugged to her chest and a massive elephant in the middle of the room. Symbolic much? I ended up giving that picture to Elizabeth, and she put it up on a corkboard.

"I'm going really well actually," I answered with a smile. "I was nervous about leaving Charlotte today, but I think I'm going to be ok."

"That's fantastic." Elizabeth smiled at me. "And how is everything going at home?"

"Things seem to be getting better... I've found myself talking to Edward more, about everything. Looking after Charlotte is getting easier. I only started to freak out once this week, and Edward helped me through it quickly and easily. I didn't cry or get angry. I was frustrated, but that was all." I smiled as I recounted my achievements. I really was starting to feel better about everything. Opening up to Edward was getting easier, and he was more understanding than I thought was possible.

"It sounds like you're getting a lot better. Is there anything in particular you wanted to walk about this week?" Elizabeth asked when she finished jotting down scribbled notes. I was starting to get more used to her writing during our sessions, and it didn't bother me anywhere near as much anymore.

"Well..." I started. "I was actually wondering something..."

Elizabeth nodded, indicating for me to go on. I took a deep breath. "It's coming up to six weeks since I had Charlotte, which means I'll be able to have sex again. And I think I'm ready. But..." I thought about how to phrase this. "What if I'm not ready, and what if it hinders my recovery in some way?"

Elizabeth placed the pen on her pad of paper and put them off to the side. "I think that's really only something you can judge, but I can help you if you'd like..." She looked at me intently.

I nodded. "How do I judge something like that though?"

"Think about how you feel when Edward touches you. Does it still scare you?"

I thought about it for a moment. I shook my head. It doesn't scare me anymore. It makes me crave him.

"And what about yourself? How do you feel when you look at yourself in the mirror? I know you said you felt very self-conscious, that was when we started these sessions. What about now? Has that gotten easier?"

"Sometimes... sometimes it still upsets me, but for the most part I'm okay with it."

"Well, I think that if you feel ready for Edward to touch you like that, then you are ready. You've come a long way in the past month, Bella."

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**AN – Review for your teaser. Reviews will make me update faster this week :) and you know what, while I'm bribing, if any lurkers (people who read but don't normally review) review, I'll give you a lemon next chapter. ;)**

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	39. Words and Deeds

**AN – I couldn't believe how many lurkers came out and reviewed. It made me freaking ecstatic to know that there are that many people actually reading this story.**

**We all know that I fail with updating, but work is to blame. And the fact I get tired too easily. But this chapter is a big one for you, so I hope you like it. Props go to PhilCaspar once again for believing that I could get this out this morning. I really need to buy that man some pom-poms. Can we get a big THANK YOU for Phil? :)**

**I know that I said this was going to be ending at about 40 chapters, but at this rate, it's still going to be another 5.****On with the chapter...**

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**Bella's POV**

_I sat with Edward, watching the snow falling gently onto the ground far below us. I used to hate snow. But now... actually, since Edward and I started dating, I love it. I see the beauty in it now. Edward holds me sometimes, when we're watching the snow fall. Just like he's holding me now. His arms wrapped gently around my waist, his chin resting on my shoulder. I was content, happy even. Charlotte was in her bassinet, by our sides. This was what I had always pictured our lives to be._

_I tilted my head slightly as Edward's lips ghosted gently over my neck. I let out a soft moan as his hands glided up my torso to cup my breasts. I lifted my hand up to run my fingers against the side of his face._

"_You're so beautiful..." Edward whispered into my ear as he nibbled on my earlobe gently._

_I said nothing, but turned to face him. I stood on my toes to reach his lips. Edward's hands tangled in my hair, causing me to moan loudly into his mouth._

"_Bella..." Edward whispered. I kissed his neck softly as my hands found their way to the hem of his shirt. As I began to pull it over his head he said my name again, louder this time. I looked up at him to see his eyes searching mine intently._

"_Bella," he said again._

My eyes shot open.

"What?!" I said, a little too fiercely. I looked at Edward to see him looking concerned. Glancing around, I saw that I was still in the sitting room. I wasn't upstairs, watching the snow with Edward.

"It was just a dream..." I whispered, to myself more than anyone else.

"Are you okay?" Edward spoke again.

"Yeah... I'm fine. Why?"

Edward smiled. "You were moaning in your sleep."

A blush rose to my cheeks and my hands flew up to hide my face. "It was just a dream, I'm fine," I managed to say.

"A good dream?" Edward sounded cocky this time. I wanted to hit him to wipe the smile that I could hear in his voice off his face.

"Yes..." I murmured as I brought my hands down again. I couldn't believe my mind would betray my like that. I knew my tendency to talk in my sleep. It's how I first told Edward that I love him. I'd wanted to tell him for a month, but ever time I tried I started freaking out and changed the subject. One night I fell asleep on his lap and ended up saying I loved him.

"Do I get to know what this good dream that had you moaning was about?" Edward grinned at me.

I shook my head and turned away, focusing all my attention on the TV. It was playing old Doctor Who episodes. I started laughing as the Darlaks came on screen. Soon Edward was joining in my laughter, and my dream was forgotten, replaced with the here and now of Edward's hand ghosting up and down my back and enjoying the rare quiet that probably wouldn't last.

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**Edward's POV**

"Sir, can I talk to you for a moment?" I caught the headmaster in the hallway on my way to the library. There was something I needed to talk to him about desperately. I didn't want to wait for this.

He glanced at his watch before looking back up at me. "I've got a spare half an hour or so... is that enough time?"

I nodded and followed him to his office. Sitting down across from him at his desk, I swallowed nervously.

"How's everything with the baby going, Edward?" Headmaster Jones asked kindly.

I smiled at the thought of Charlotte. "Excellent, thank you, sir. She's amazing. And Bella is going well too. Actually, that's sort of why I wanted to talk to you."

He nodded, indicating for me to go on. I took a deep breath. "I want to finish early, sir. I know I have completed all subjects I need to, and I got a 2215 on my SATs... I want to spend more time at home with Charlotte and Bella, sir. I feel like I'm missing out on so much."

He sighed softly, and rubbed his temple with his fingertips. "Are you sure about this, Edward?"

"I am..."

He nodded again. "Okay... well... there's going to be a bit of paper work for you to do. I should be able to get that finished. But other than that, I wish you the best of luck, Edward."

I smiled. "Thank you, sir."

It was only on the drive home that I realised I hadn't talked to Bella about this yet. While I'd been thinking about it for a while, I hadn't made the final decision until I saw him in the corridor. I parked the car in the garage, nerves fluttering through my stomach.

The door connecting the garage and the house opened to reveal a confused looking Bella. "Edward?" she asked, narrowing her eyes slightly. "What are you doing home already?"

If I was nervous before, it was nothing compared to how I felt under her gaze. "Um... well..." I stuttered for a moment. "Can we go inside, it's freezing out here..."

Bella hugged, but turned on her heel to go inside. Once we were inside, she shut the door behind me and pulled on my wrist. "Edward, why are you home so early?"

"I finished early..."

Bella took a breath. "You mean, a class was cancelled?"

I shook my head. "No... I mean... I finished everything early. I'm not going back. I've done my SATs, I've got enough subjects to get my diploma..." I trailed off as Bella's eyes filled with an anger I'd never seen before.

"And what?! You didn't even THINK to ask me?!" She threw her hands in the air and turned to walk away from me.

"Bella..." I said and I went to follow after her.

"Edward, don't follow me. I'll be back, but... FUCK!" I hadn't heard Bella swear in so long that it made me flinch. I chose to take her advice and not follow her as she stormed up the stairs.

**Bella's POV**

_What the hell was he thinking? He wasn't. Yep, that would explain it. Because if he had been thinking, he would've known how angry I'd be about this!!_

I was ranting to myself as I paced angrily around the bedroom, picking up clothes, tidying. This is what I did when I was angry. I would passively aggressively clean. Then I would passively aggressively cook. And then, maybe then, I would talk to Edward. But right now, if I tried to talk to him, I would literally kill him.

I wasn't angry so much about him leaving school. I knew that he was ready to leave. He'd completed everything that he needed to. He blitzed his SATs. What I was angry about was the fact he made a huge decision, that potentially will effect the rest of our lives, and he didn't even consider talking to me about it first.

I picked up a face cloth off the floor and threw it in the general direction of the washing basket. It missed, of course. That made me want to scream. Glancing around the room, I realised I had nothing else I could do without waking up Charlotte. The bed was made, everything was tidy. The only thing left to do was vacuum.

_Too noisy._

There was a soft knock at the door, and acting on instinct, I said, "Edward, I said don't follow me. I'll talk to you when I'm ready!"

The door pushed open despite my words and I spun around, ready to yell at him. Instead I was faced with a confused looking Esme.

"Oh... sorry..." I said timidly. I felt tears welling up as Esme walked over to me. I was expecting her to chastise me or something. Instead I felt her warm arms envelope me. The tears spilt over and I stood there sobbing as Esme held me, gently quieting me, stroking her hand with my hair.

"Shh... it's okay, Bella..." she whispered. Eventually my tears stopped, and I wiped my eyes dry. Esme led me over to the bed, sitting next to me gently. "Would you like to tell me what happened?" she asked softly, still running her hand over my hair.

I took a shaky breath. "It's kind of pathetic, really. Edward... I don't know if he told you he was going to or not... but he finished school early."

Esme's gasped told me that he hadn't told her. I instantly felt guilty, but I knew she was going to find out sooner or later.

"He didn't discuss it with me. He just went ahead and did it. I just that these decisions... the big ones... they're the ones we'd make together..." I trailed off. Esme's hand stopped stroking my hair, instead finding it's way to grasp my own hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

"Bella... try to think about how he's feeling lately. He has to leave you and his daughter for hours at a time. He can't contact you while he's at school. He must feel like he's missing out on so much. I know he wouldn't have made this decision lightly. Why he didn't tell you, I don't know. You'll have to ask him that. But I beg of you to understand that he's doing this for you and Charlotte, as much as he is for himself."

I sighed as I nodded. I could understand that he'd been missing us. And in all honesty, I probably wouldn't have minded if he'd told me that he wanted to finish early. After a bit of time, I would've been ecstatic knowing that he'd be at home more often, that we'd be spending more time together.

"Maybe I just overreacted a bit..." I said, to myself more than Esme. I looked at Esme to see her smiling gently.

"Are you okay now? Because I think you should go talk to Edward before he finds the headmaster's house and begs to re-enrol..."

I let out a small laugh. "Okay," I said as I got up. I glanced at the calender.

_What's the date?..._

I nearly gasped as I realised that it was the 6th of February. It had been six weeks and one day since Charlotte was born...

I'm not sure if it was just coincidence or if Esme realised what I was thinking, but she took that opportunity to speak up. "Bella... I'm going into Forks for about 3 hours with Carlisle. Would you like me to take Charlotte with me so you can talk to Edward in peace?"

I felt myself blush. I didn't know if she knew or not, but she wasn't a thick woman. She tended to know whenever something was happening. I suppose it's a mother-thing.

"Um... okay. I'll have to feed her first though. And there are two bottles in the fridge, so that should be enough, just in case..." I was rambling a bit. As if on cue, Charlotte's high pitched cry came from her crib. I smiled a little, and turned to pick her up.

"Come on, my little one. Are you hungry?" I asked her as I sat back down on the bed. I leaned against the back of the bed to get comfortable as I unclipped the sleeve of my shirt. Charlotte didn't fuss about feeding this time, instead she latched on straight away. Esme smiled at me.

"Just bring Charlotte down when you're done, dear." She patted my leg before turning to walk out of the room.

20 minutes later, I was packing diapers in a bag for Charlotte, and fussing, making sure she had everything that was needed. Putting Charlotte in her carrier, I picked up the bag and made my way down stairs. Esme met me in the kitchen. Edward was sitting next to Carlisle. Edward looked like he'd been crying, and was glancing back and forth between me and the floor. I wanted to smack him around the back of the head for being such a douche. I didn't find myself angry at him this time though. In fact, I found myself calm, and yet excited to be able to spend a couple of hours with just him.

Esme came up to me. Leaning up to me ear she whispered, "Have fun, dear." With that she took Charlotte from me as I blushed and kissed Charlotte goodbye. Edward did the same, and soon we were sitting at the table in silence, avoiding the awkward glances from each other.

I was the first to talk. "I'm sorry for yelling..." I said quietly as I played with my engagement ring. I looked up at Edward to see him looking at me.

"And I should've told you that I wanted to do this..." he responded timidly.

I nodded. "Yes, you really should've. So why didn't you?"

Edward sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I really don't know. I was going to talk to you about it, but I wasn't even sure I was going to until I saw the headmaster in the hallway."

"So... it was kind of an impulsive decision?"

He nodded. "Very much so. I know it was stupid... but I also know that it was right. I miss you and Charlotte so much when I'm at school. I want to know what I'm missing out on at home. I want to make sure that I'm there for her first smile, her first laugh. I would hate myself if I missed those things..." Edward's voice cracked, and I could see tears starting to well up.

I scooted my chair across so that it was next to his, and I placed my head on his shoulder. "It's okay. I understand... and I'm not angry anymore..." I laughed a little. "The room is really clean now too..."

Edward chuckled gently. "How much damage is done?"

I scoffed and pretended to be offended. "Damage?!"

Edward simply turned to look at me. I raised my head to see his eyebrow raised, and a smirk on his face.

"Um... well... the draws are rearranged... and everything is sorted. The washing basket is full, so we should do some washing... oh... and I cleaned the bathroom..."

Edward laughed gently and he brushed a piece of hair off my face. "We'd get so much done if you got angry more often..."

I smacked his arm lightly. "Or if you picked your clothes up off the floor, maybe we wouldn't have so much to do in the first place..."

Edward just shrugged. "I suppose. But you know... pfft."

I smirked at his immature response.

I wanted to figure out a way to get him to the bedroom, without giving away that I had every intention of making love to him.

"Um... I need a shower. Did you want to come with?" I asked him, pretending to be shy about it.

Edward smiled. "Sure..." he said as he stood from his chair. I stood with him, and took his hand. I tried to control my heart as we walked up the stairs, taking slow deep breaths. It felt like my first time all over again. I was nervous as all hell, I was scared I wouldn't know what to do. But I was sure that I was ready this time.

As we entered the room, I pulled my jumper off, and threw it into the washing basket. I walked into the bathroom, and discarded the rest of my clothing as I adjusted the water on the shower. I turned to see Edward walking in, wearing just his boxers. Images of Edward naked flashed through my mind, and I found myself trying to not hyperventilate. It had been so long... too long... since we'd made love. I wanted it to be special. But at the same time I just wanted it... so desperately.

I stepped in the shower and stepped to the side to let Edward step in and close the door. I looked up into Edward's eyes. He took a step toward me, and my breath hitched. Silently, he took the shampoo bottle from behind me and motioned for me to tip my head back into the stream of the shower. I did so, and when my hair was wet enough, he poured a little of the shampoo onto his hand. Slowly, he lifted his hands up and started to massage the shampoo into my scalp. I moaned softly as his fingers rubbed circles and run through the long strands of my hair.

Edward's hands ran down to my shoulders and he guided me to turn toward the door. My heart felt as though it stopped when Edward pressed himself flush against me. I could feel his erection pressing against my back as he kissed along my neck. It was only as my head lolled to the side that I noticed his was washing my body gently as his hands ran down my arms and back up my stomach. I closed my eyes as pleasure coursed through my body. His hand reached my breasts, rubbing them gently, Edward pinched my nipples, making me moan again. I pushed myself back against Edward, desperate for more contact.

"Uh, uh," Edward whispered as he pulled away from me. I took a step back again, but found myseld under the stream of the water. I closed my eyes automatically as the rest of the shampoo rinsed out of my hair. When I opened them again, I took in Edward's chest. My eyes trailed up to eventually meet his eyes, blackened with lust.

I stepped forward. Lifting my hands, I placed them on his chest. I pressed lightly as I stood on my tip-toes. I pressed my lips hungrily against his. I flicked my tongue out, and Edward's lips parted. Our tongues danced in his mouth until a low growl came from his throat. He pushed me back so that I was against the back wall. He stepped forward with me, and pressed himself hard against me.

I groaned in frustration as his lips left mine, but was soon moaning again as Edward kissed his way down my neck and to my collarbone. His lips left a trail of fire as he kissed further down, eventually darting his tongue out to circle my nipple. I hissed as he took it between his teeth. I could feel him smiling against my skin.

Edward was kneeling on the as his lips moved my my breast to my stomach, and trailing down to my left hip. His hands ran up the outside of my legs, but his left one moved slowly inside, until it was frustratingly close to my dripping core. Slowly, he ran two fingers along my folds, before delving one inside me gently. I moaned as I rocked against his hand, silently begging for more. He placed another finger inside me. I closed my eyes, focusing on the sensation he was giving me. I felt his tongue flicked against me before his free hand lifted my right leg up so it was over his shoulder. Edward flicked his tongue out again, this time hitting my clit gently. I moaned, and thrust against him, desperately wanting him to let me fall over the edge. He took my clit in his mouth, and scraped his teeth gently across it. I could feel myself growing closer. I lifted one hand up to roll my nipple between my fingers.

I was so close to my climax when Edward pulled away. I whined in frustration, about to beg him to continue. He didn't give me a chance though, as he stood up and grabbed my hips. I lifted on legs up to wrap around his waist, and Edward lifted the other. Pushing me against the wall, I could feel his erection pressing against my core. He looked into my eyes, and I gave him a small nod. Pulling back, Edward thrust forward, gently pushing into me.

I hissed as pain coursed through my body. Edward froze, his eyes suddenly filled with worry. I hadn't factored the pain into the equation. After a few moments, the pain started to subside.

"I'm okay..." I whispered in Edward's ear, nibbling on the lobe gently. Edward began to move again, starting to replace the pain with pleasure. His movements meant his was rubbing against my clit at the same time. His hands, placed on my arse to keep me up, gave a rough squeeze. I moaned against his neck. I bit down softly as I came closer to my climax again. Suddenly, I felt as though I was soaring. I threw my head back, hitting the tiled wall as I let out a loud moan. My entire body tingled with the sensation, and my walls spasmed. As I rode out my orgasm, Edward movements became more frantic, until I felt him shudder, and then slow to a stop. I was panting softly as Edward pulled out of me, still holding me up against the wall. I slipped my legs down, and slid down the wall so that I was sitting on the shower floor, under the stream of the water. Edward was leaning against the opposite wall now, his eyes closed as he tried to steady his own breath.

Eventually he leaned forward, turning the taps into their off positions. I stood up, and Edward pulled me against his chest. "You're amazing," he whispered as he kissed me softly. "Beautiful, wonderful, amazing. I love you..." He kissed me again as I smiled against his lips.

"I love you too..." I said softly, still reveling in my high.

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**AN – FINALLY! Geez, I thought I was about to die of sexual tension... is that even possible? Who knows... Anyway, review for your teaser!!**


	40. Important AN

**Important Author's Note**

First off, let me say that I am really sorry that this isn't a real update.

I want to let everyone who is reading this know that this story is now on TEMPORARY hiatus. I will be writing still, unfortunately recent events in my real life have given me less time to write.

I hope that you all understand, and will be reading when I return.

Love, Emmy xx


	41. Just The Way You Are

**AN – Well, thank you _all_**** so much for your kind words and support when I posted the hiatus notice. It meant a lot to me to know that there were so many people out there who cared about this story. Trust me, knowing that even just one person was reading this story would make me continue. To have so many people was overwhelming. So here is the real chapter 40.**

**Special thanks goes to meilzdoggg01, for being there when shit hit the fan. **

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**Bella's POV**

"Bella! What do you mean, you haven't chosen the flowers yet? The wedding is less than a month away!" Alice's voice filled the room as I desperately tried to block out her chastising. It wasn't that I hadn't tried to choose the right flowers… I just hadn't had the time. As I turned to answer Alice and tell her to choose them herself she threw her hands in the air and stormed out of the room, muttering something about having to do everything herself. I shook my head and slumped down on the couch.

Edward had taken Charlotte out for a drive, and wouldn't be back for another hour.

Running my hands through my tangled hair, I thought back, trying to remember the last time I had sat down and just relaxed. Deciding it had been far to long, I dragged myself up the stair to the bathroom. Running the water to fill the bath, I slipped off my overused sweatpants and t-shirt. Turning to the mirror, I picked up a brush and slowly pulled it through my hair, trying to rid it of the knots. After a few minutes, I was satisfied, and walked to the bath. Turning the taps to their off positions, I stepped in to the bath, slowly lowering my body into the warmth of the bath. I sighed in contentment as I instantly felt my muscles relax.

I let my mind wander as I absentmindedly washed myself. My life h ad changed so much over the past year. I went so quickly from the carefree student with a wonderful boyfriend to an expecting mother with a fiancé, and now I'm a mother, with a beautiful daughter, and a loving fiancé, who I am preparing to vow to spend the rest of my life loving him. Sometimes it's over whelming, and it hasn't been a smooth ride. But at the same time, I know I wouldn't go back to change anything.

A knock at the bathroom door pulled me out of my reverie. I jumped slightly, splashing a bit of water out of the tub onto the floor.

"Who is it?" I called out, still breathless from my scare. I stood up, letting the water out of the tub, and stepped out, wrapping a towel around me.

"Just me…" Edward's voice called back to me.

Sighing, I walked to the door and unlocked it. Standing there with Charlotte in his arms was a topless, god-like man. Biting back a moan as I took in the perfect look of my fiancé, I held me hands out for the squirming Charlotte. Just as I took her from her father's arms, she let out a cry, telling me in her own way that it was time to feed her.

**Edward's POV**

My fiancé stood before me, a towel wrapped around her body, her hair dripping down her back. My cock twitched at the sight. I wanted her so badly, but there were more important things to do. A cry from Charlotte reminded me she was hungry. Bella took her from my arms, and began feeding her. They looked so peaceful; I chose to take my leave, and give them some space.

I walked down the stairs, with the intent of getting a cup of coffee and going to see if dad was anywhere to be found. Instead, it wasn't two seconds before a frantic Alice pounced on me.

"Edward! Oh thank god! I've been looking for you everywhere! I don't know what to get her for the wedding, and she won't pick a color-scheme, and everything is wrong!" Alice's panicked voice startled me slightly as she attached herself to my side. I tried to keep my internal laughter from my voice and I walked us to the kitchen table and began to try to figure out what she was on about.

"You can't decide to get who _what_ for the wedding?" I asked, deciding to go with one issue at a time.

"Bella!" Alice sobbed. "I have to give her _something_. Something new!"

I rolled my eyes slightly. I should've figured that one out myself.

_Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue._

"Why are you getting her the 'something new' part? Shouldn't the dress just count for that?" Confusion filled my voice and I felt more and more like a fish out of water.

"No! She's… I can't tell you why!! Gosh! But the dress isn't the _new_ part." Alice huffed as she ran her hands through her hair, that was no longer spiky, but she'd started to grow out over the past few months. It now sat just above her chin, straight, framing her face.

"Okay… has she got her jewellery yet?"

I saw Alice's face go through trying to recall what Bella had already, and then excitement filled her face.

"You're a lifesaver Edward! She has most of it, except _one _thing."

Just as I opened my mouth to ask what, Alice cut in again.

"But that doesn't cover the other problem! She hasn't chosen a colour-scheme, I have no idea what flowers to order, and at such short notice!"

I took Alice's hand in mine. "Alice, you have to calm down about this. One day, you're going to be my sister in-law, and on that day, your wedding will be fabulously huge, in true Alice style. But this is Bella's day. She doesn't want something huge. It's just going to be in the garden, we're not going to have hundreds of people there… the reception will be the place everyone comes to congratulate us. But for the wedding, we have family, and close friends. Please, I'm begging you, don't put too much pressure on Bella." I took a breath. "That said, I will ask her about the colour scheme. Okay?"

Alice fidgeted with her hands before nodding her consent and leaning in to hug me tight around the chest. "I suppose I just want this day to be perfect for her."

"Me too, squirt, me too."

Alice punched me in the chest softly, before skipping away, yelling over her shoulder, "don't call me squirt!"

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**AN – I know it wasn't super long, but surely it's better than nothing. I promise to try to update as soon as I can again. I can't promise something tomorrow, but we'll see how I go, k?**

**Your reviews are loved.**


	42. Hen's and Buck's Preperation

**AN – I told you I'd have another update for you soon, did I not? Here it is. Thank you all for your reviews last chapter.**

**Thanks once again goes to meilzdoggg01, and my lovely boyfriend, for giving me a bit of a confidence boost about this chapter.

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**Bella's POV**

"Alice… I thought I wasn't having a hen's night?" I put my head in my hands, rubbing my eyes. Alice seemed to have organised something somewhat similar to a hen's night.

"It's not a hen's night! It's a couple of your good girlfriends getting together to spend some quality time with you before you get married. No one will be getting drunk, sure there will be a couple of drinks, but not completely rolling smashed."

I rolled my eyes. This was just like Alice. A week until my wedding, as if I wasn't nervous enough, now I had to spend hours entertaining people. "And who exactly is a few of my good girlfriends?" I closed my eyes, prepared for the worst.

"Me, of course, Rose, Ange, and Esme."

I breathed a sigh of relief. "Okay… that's fine… but I'm not staying up late, and Charlotte will have to be there, so it's not going to be loud."

Alice grinned and nodded her consent. "Okay!" She bounced and grabbed my hand. "In that case, Esme and Rosalie are waiting in your room to help you get ready!"

Groaning, I trudged my way up the stairs, trying to prepare myself for the onslaught of makeup and hair products that was to come.

I didn't make it 2 feet in the door before Rose had pounced on me, pushing me to the seat next to the bed, telling me to relax and enjoy as she ripped at my hair with a hair brush. Esme was slightly more tactful, kneeling in front of me and holding out a range of colour choices. I chose the light and dark blues and let Esme get to work doing my make up.

"So, are you excited?" Rose asked as she pulled my hair out of my face.

"For this, or for the wedding?"

Rose laughed gently, her grip on my hair loosening slightly. "Both, I suppose."

Butterflies filled my stomach as I thought forward a week to the wedding. Everything was planned. There would be a few good friends from Forks there… Mom, Phil, Dad and even some of the people from the Quilluete Reservation would be at the ceremony. It was the reception that would be the talk of the town. I let Alice plan that completely. I knew that it would be in the house, because the wedding was to take place in the garden. Other than that, I knew very little about the reception.

"Terrified about the wedding. I suppose I'm just worried that something will go wrong though, or that I've forgotten to do something. But tonight… I suppose I'll just have to try to enjoy myself." I bit my lip as I answered Rose.

"Well it's normal to be nervous about your wedding," Esme said gently. "But just think, this time next week, you'll be Mrs Cullen."

I smiled and laughed gently. I couldn't believe that it was happening, finally. I'd always known that Edward would be the person I married. Even before we were dating. His family had always welcomed me, his friends were my friends. He's my best friend. Now that it was actually happening though, it was all a little overwhelming.

"I suppose so. I can't wait, I'm nervous, but excited too. There is nothing I want more than to marry Edward…"

Esme simply smiled warmly at me as she stepped away from my face. "Done!" she exclaimed as she closed the make-up case. Rose spent another minute or so on my hair before stepping back and declaring that she too, was finished. I stood from the chair and walked over to the mirror.

I gasped when I saw the transformation. My hair was pulled back into a half ponytail, twisted at the hair tie. My make up was soft, but gave my face more life than it had seen in months now. I turned around, trying hard not to cry. I jumped at Esme and Rose, enveloping them in my arms.

"I think she likes it…" Rose whispered not so discretely to Esme, who laughed in return.

"Thank you guys, so much!"

"It's okay, sweetie. You deserve a little pampering every once in a while."

Just as I went to hug them again, a small cry came from the crib by the bed. Laughing gently again, I started to walk over to the crib.

"I suppose the rest of the pampering will have to wait a little bit. Someone's hungry," I said with a laugh.

Esme and Rosalie sat on the bed. "That's okay. Alice will be back up here soon to help with the choice of clothing."

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**Edward's POV**

"Emmett…" I groaned as he through a football toward me. "I really don't want to go out tonight! I don't care if you've organised a massive party or not. I want to stay in."

"Edward…" he mimicked my groan. "I don't care what you want. You're coming out tonight. Bella is going to be occupied anyway…"

"And what is that supposed to mean?" I was suddenly filled with worry as I thought of all the possibilities. Alice and Rose dragging Bella to town… A make over… Everything Bella hates... A sudden desperate need to rescue my fiancé overcame me.

"It just means that Alice, Esme, Rose, and Bella, are having a _quiet_ girls night in. I promise you, nothing huge. Just an attempt to relax Bella a little before the wedding." Emmett's massive hand clapped my shoulder. "I promise man… Would I try to deceive you?" He put on his best innocent face.

I scoffed incredulously. "Ah, yes. Do you need me to list the times in the past that you've promised something, and it's turned out to be something completely different?" Emmett feigned ignorance at my comment.

"Need I remind you of the time you dragged me to Seattle, telling me that we were going to do _research_ for our biology assignment? Turns out you dragged me to some ridiculous football game, when I had exam block coming up the following week?"

"Oh please, Edward. You were still the top of the class; you'd spent weeks studying. I was worried if you studied any more, you'd turn into the exam itself. What exactly did you get on that test in the end?"

I sighed in resignation. "Okay, okay. I'll go tonight. But you're letting me say goodbye to Bella first."

Emmett bowed and waved his hand in the direction of the stairs, silently willing me to go say my farewells. I laughed, and threw a playful punch at his chest. Emmett pushed me in return. Glaring at him, I backed away slowly, before turning to run up the stairs.

I stopped outside the door, and heard giggling, and Esme talking in a low voice. I heard soft footsteps, and all of a sudden the door burst open, to reveal Alice standing there.

"Edward, are you going to come in and say goodbye, or stand out there eavesdropping?" She grabbed my wrist an pulled me into the room. I almost gasped when I saw Bella, standing there in simple but very nice jeans and a nice shirt, her makeup done beautifully.

"See something you like?" Rose said with a laugh as she shoved Bella gently toward me. I nodded dumbly as I took in just how beautiful she looked. She waved her hand in front of me, laughing softly.

"You look… amazing…" I managed to get out.

"Why thank you," she said, still laughing. "So I hear you're spending the night with the boys tonight?"

I nodded. "As long as you're okay with that?"

She smiled. "That's fine. It seems I'm being pampered and then we're spending a girl's night in. I think this is Alice's replacement for a hen's night," she whispered the last part in my ear.

"Okay then, my love." I swept a piece of hair behind Bella's ear. "Have fun. Now, where's my other beautiful girl?" I turned my attentions to seeing where in the room Charlotte was. With 4 girls in the room, it was a fairly safe bet she wasn't in her crib. I spotted her in my mother's arms. Smiling gently, I walked over to them, kneeling in front of Esme.

"Hello you two…" I whispered.

Esme lifted Charlotte up gently, letting me take the tiny angel from her arms.

"I promise daddy will be back later, tonight. Okay?"

Charlotte squirmed a little, before poking her tongue out of her mouth, producing a small bubble. I laughed gently, before lifting her to kiss her forehead and nose.

"That's my girl…" I gave her back to Esme, knowing that Emmett and Jasper would more than likely already be waiting for me in the Jeep.

"Okay, I'll see everyone later tonight. Wish me luck!"

Four laughs followed. "Goodbye, Edward. See you later." Bella stood on her toes, kissing me gently. I kissed her back softly.

"I love you…" I whispered in her ear before turning to walk out the door.

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**AN – there we are. That one was longer. I'm working on picking up the number of words in each chapter again, so we can have longer chapters for the last couple.**

**Speaking of which, a few people have asked when the wedding is. It's in two chapters time!! I just ask for your patience on the journey there.**

**I love and read every single one of the reviews I get. Please review :)**


	43. Author's Note Sorry

Hi everyone. I know people have been PMing me, and asking when I'm going to update. I'm sorry I haven't replied or posted anything in ages but I just haven't had the time and when I have I've lost inspiration. I will be writing more of Leave Out All The Rest and Self Medicating, but unfortunately I will have to delete the rest of my stories. I hope to repost one day but having so many going at one time is overwhelming and not conducive to me getting inspiration. I have chosen to finish those two stories for the following reasons:

Leave out All The Rest is the most popular, and I have so many readers who love it, it's unfair to people who have followed me this far to just up and leave it.

Self Medicating is close to me, and a great source for me to write and vent my frustration on crappy days.

I will post this message not only on my profile but on all stories. I hope everyone understands and I really really am sorry for being MIA for so long.

Emmy xx


	44. Welcome to Paradise

**Okay, so I'm sure you've all read the AN before this. Here is the update as promised. I am so sorry about my long hiatus. It wasn't planned, I just didn't have the time or inspiration to write something worth posting. I couldn't decide where the story was going, how I wanted to write it, who's POV etc etc. You get my point.**

**Here is the chapter, and I hope it's worth the wait.**

**Loves. xx**

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I couldn't believe that the days had passed so quickly. I don't remember where the time went, or how we got here. But here I stood, in front of the people I called family, and the friends I'd learnt to love the same.

"Come on, Bella!! Open the present!" Alice and Esme's voices mixed. I couldn't believe I was at my hens night already. It seemed like yesterday that I agreed to marry Edward. I know that I love him with all I have. But nerves seemed to take control of my body. My stomach started to turn, and the room started to spin. Or maybe it was just me thinking the room was spinning. But that's certainly what it felt like. I sat down, trying to force a smile.

"Are you okay, Bella?" Esme asked as she sat next to me.

I kept my smile. "I'm fine. Just a bit of a head spin when I got up just then."

Esme looked at me, in her usual caring way. "Are you sure you're okay? You can go lay down for a bit if you'd like." Despite Esme's offer, I knew how much I'd disappoint everyone if I were to leave the party.

"No, no. I'm fine," I lied as I pulled the present Alice had been begging me to open toward me. "So what have we here?"

Alice's face lit up with joy as I went to open the beautifully wrapped box. I pulled the ribbons off carefully (well, as carefully as I can do) and slid the paper surrounding the box off. I opened the lid of the box to reveal two beautiful champagne flutes, and a bottle of champagne. The rims were lined with gold, and in the glass was delicate engraving saying "Congratulations, Edward and Bella Cullen". I felt a nausea that I couldn't blame on food, alcohol, or anything else of the sort. It was dread. I was dreading the day when I would promise my life to Edward Cullen.

I couldn't believe what I was feeling. I had wanted this so much for years. It was finally happening. Wasn't I supposed to be happy? Excited? Why was a feeling as though the world was going to come to an end if I went through with this?

"I was going to give it to you at the wedding but I couldn't wait…" I heard Alice's voice somewhere in the background but I couldn't really focus on anything other than the sick feeling that was threatening to present my lunch to the world.

_Come on Bella, get it together_ I thought to myself.

I took a deep breath, trying once more to mask how I was feeling. This was a night that I didn't want to ruin for Alice and Esme, or anyone else here for that matter.

"I'll be back in a moment," I said, standing up and stretching my back. Esme smiled, and Alice gave me a look, silently telling me she knew I wasn't really okay. I gave her a small smile. "Okay, Bella. We'll get the next activity on the agenda set up while you're gone," Esme said, looking at Alice. "Will you come with me to the kitchen for a second, Alice?"

Alice nodded and stood up. "We'll be back in a minute guys," she said. As she walked past me she made sure her shoulder brushed mine, and paused a moment to hold my hand. "We will talk about this later okay?" she whispered to me. If it were anyone else I would've felt pressured, and I would have gotten annoyed at them, but I knew that Alice just wanted to help. I nodded at her, a lump in my throat preventing me from speaking.

Rosalie picked up Charlotte, tenderly stroking her cheek and cooing. She and Angela began talking about the wedding, and I took this opportunity to walk out of the room and down the hall. I looked around, trying to decide where to go to get my thoughts together. I walked down the stairs and outside to the patio. I sat on a chair and ran my hands through my hand, untangling a couple of knots.

"I can do this," I whispered to myself, taking a deep breath.

"You can do what?" I heard a voice coming from behind me. I startled, and jumped up to see who it was. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." Rosalie walked closer to me and touched my arm gently.

"Oh, it's okay. I just didn't hear you come out." I wanted to avoid her question if I could. I was always a terrible liar.

"Bella, what's worrying you?" Rosalie sat in the seat next to where I was, and motioned for me to sit as well. I wanted to hit myself for not going further away from the house. Of course Rosalie would know something was wrong. Despite her being a bit… mean… to some people sometimes, she was the only person I knew who managed to always know when people were upset.

"It's nothing Rosalie… Really, I'm fine." I tried lying. I could see in her face that she didn't believe me.

"Bella, it's okay to…"

"Oh there you guys are. Angela said you'd gone to find Bella, Rose. We have the next surprise ready now." Alice's face was glowing with excitement. I smiled and walked inside. I was happy, but only because we'd been interrupted and I didn't have to go through why I was feeling so terrible before I got married.

"Okay, Bella. Close your eyes and take my hand." I did as Alice said and soon she was leading me deeper into the house. I dared to peak my eyes open for a second, but just as they opened, Alice said "Bella, close your eyes." I couldn't help but laugh a little bit. It was so typical of Alice to know exactly what I was doing. We walked a little further into the house until Alice suddenly stopped, nearly sending me flying forward.

"Okay, open your eyes."

I did as she said. My mouth dropped open with surprise. "MOM!!"

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**Please review if you liked it or if you hated it.**


	45. When You're Gone

**AN - This is the last chapter. There will be an epilogue.**

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**Edward's POV**

Emmett and Jasper had the music blaring in the Jeep as we headed down the freeway toward the city. I sat back in my chair and watched the scenery pass by as I wondered what Bella and the girls were up to. Something about Bella had seemed a bit off over the past few days. She'd been distant, and when I held her it felt like she tensed up every time. It was probably just my imagination, but it was getting to me anyway.

"Hey, man." Emmett slapped my arm, snapping me out of my daze. "We're nearly there." The rain was pouring down by this point. I could see cars ahead, and some behind us, but nothing more than a few metres ahead. I wasn't sure where we actually were as we pulled off the freeway, onto a small two lane road.

"You right man?" Jasper asked as he looked back from the drivers seat for a moment.

"I'm fine," I said.

I looked up for a moment, and my heart skipped a beat. Jasper looked ahead just in time to see the truck heading right toward us. He jerked the steering wheel to the right. Panic filled my body as the car skidded for a moment, before it flipped and started to roll. I felt my head smack against something hard, before my mind went blank, and I felt myself losing conciousness...

**Bella's POV**

"Mom... I didn't know you were going to be here tonight?" I couldn't help it as tears filled my eyes. I didn't think that I'd be so happy to see her. I needed to talk to her so badly.

"Well, Alice called me and told me about tonight, and I booked a flight and got a cab from the airport to here," she smiled and walked toward me. I let my body fall into hers as her arms enveloped me.

"It's so good to see you, Mom."

"Darling, what's the matter?" Mom gently pushed me back a little to look in my eyes. I knew that I couldn't hide it from her. She took my hand, "excuse us for a few minutes will you?" she smiled at Esme, who nodded gently.

Mom walked with me outside, and sat on the paving. I couldn't help but smile a little. It was so like my mother to opt for sitting on the ground over the chairs.

"So what's gotten you upset sweetie?" she asked, still holding my hand.

I took a deep breath. I knew that I would feel better after talking to mom, but I felt so ridiculous being upset about something that I... well... I just shouldn't!

"I'm scared..." I whispered, focusing intently on the paver, trying to count the tiny holes in it.

"Oh, darling. Of course you are. That's _normal_," she stressed to me. "I'd probably be worried if you weren't. You're young, you're a new mother, and you're days away from getting married. I know that I was terrified when I married your father. I was even a little scared when I married Phil. My point is that is completely normal to think things might be different. It's normal to worry that you're not ready for this. What matters most though, is when you walk down that aisle, knowing that it's the right thing, that it is what you want. Is it what you want? Do you _want_ to marry Edward?"

"Yes! Of course I do," I answered straight away. It was when I said that, that I knew that I could marry him.

**Charlie's POV**

It was going to be a long night. I couldn't keep my mind off the fact I had a daughter that had grown up so quickly. Sometimes I hated myself for letting myself get so distanced from her. I had a granddaughter that I had only seen a handful of times. I sat in my patrol car on the side of freeway, watching the cars go past, ready to flick my sirens on and catch people being idiots. I had been asked to go out of my usual patrol area today, to help relieve the pressure on the short staffed station closer to the city. It was okay for me, I didn't mind the change. I just wasn't used to so many cars.

The rain pounded down on my windscreen as I watch the wiper blades for a moment. _Maybe I'll call Bella tomorrow, _I thought to myself.

Just as I thought this, I heard my radio. "Patrol 3, please proceed immediately to a single vehicle crash, 2 miles north of your current position. About 200 yards off the city exit."

"I'll be there in 2 minutes," I replied as I flicked on my sirens and pulled out into the traffic. I didn't often report to car crashes, but when I did, I knew to prepare myself for the worst. There would already be paramedics on the way, if not already there.

I weaved in and out of cars as I headed for the exit, slowing as I saw cars stopped by the side of the road, with people staring with horrified looks on their faces at a jeep, rolled down the embankment. It was on it's roof, and I could clearly see 2 people in the front, still strapped in by their seat belts as I walked quickly from my car. I did a quick check to make sure I couldn't see any leaking gas or fire anywhere before rushing to the drivers side of the car.

I felt as though the breath had been knocked out of me as I looked inside. I'd recognise the shaggy blonde hair of the driver anywhere. I looked to the passenger seat to see Emmett Cullen. It took all the effort I had to bring myself to look into the rear seat. I already knew who I would see there. It was how they always sat in the car.

_Edward._

I took up my radio from shirt and spoke without thinking.

"3 people in the car off the freeway. Ambulance's required for all three. Please send a second patrol car..."

I moved as quickly as I could to check Jasper and Emmett both had a pulse through the broken window. They both had one, and I could hear them breathing. I couldn't see any immediate life threatening injuries, so I moved to Edward. I could see he was in a worse state. There was blood trickling from a cut on his head, where it appeared to have hit on the window.

I heard sirens in the background, and could see 2 paramedics running toward me.

"What are we looking at?" the first one asked me.

I stepped back. "The driver and front passenger both have a stable pulse, and are breathing. I haven't moved either. I haven't checked the passenger in the back... I... I know all of them..." I ran my hands through my hair.

"You, sit down. We've got it from here. Another patrol car is on it's way, as well as more paramedics."

I stumbled back to a log and felt my body slump down. I watched through blurry eyes as they pulled Edward gently from the car, laying him down on the ground.

**Bella's POV**

I looked at the clock. 9pm. There was a knock on the door. Alice looked at me, and Rosalie. I could tell by the look on their faces that they weren't expecting anyone. Rosalie got up to get the door, and I picked up Charlotte, walking around the room. I could tell something was wrong. I had sent a text message to Edward earlier, and I hadn't gotten a reply. That wasn't like him.

I heard footsteps walking toward the room, muttered voices. I was surprised when I saw dad walk in first, he was followed by another officer.

"Bella, sit down." Dad's eyes didn't meet mine when I tried to look at him.

"No." I took a step toward him. "What's happened?" my voice wavered. Somehow I already knew.

"There's been an accident..." Dad started.

Mom stood up, and put her hand on my shoulder.

"Bella, sweetie. I really think you should sit down..." she said. I could tell she knew something was wrong too. I sat down gently on the lounge.

"There has been an accident," the other officer started again. "Emmett and Jasper are in hospital, in the city."

"What about Edward?"

Dad looked down at the floor. I could see a tear fall. I had never seen my father cry.

I stood up again, still holding Charlotte close. I felt tears well up. My chest got tight. "What happened to Edward?!" I demanded.

"He didn't make it, Bella. Edward died," my dad choked out.

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**I know that a lot of people are going to hate this, but I'm sorry. This is what I had planned, and I've decided to stick to it. An epilogue will be up in a few days... It was awesome writing this and receiving the feedback. This is by far my most successful story, and I have no one but the readers to thank for that.**


	46. Epilogue

I don't remember what happened after my dad told me Edward was dead.

Everything in my memory is blank. Days passed, weeks even. Edward was buried. I remember Rosalie looking after Charlotte for a long time. I spent a few days in hospital. Time blurred into one big block of nothing.

It took months before I could hold Charlotte again.

It took me even longer to realise that she was Edward's legacy. Edward had loved his daughter, more than he could have loved anything.

The sun bore down on my face as a small smile graced my lips. The cold of the winter morning was blocked out by the glass walls and door now separating the patio from the garden. This was put in on Charlotte's first birthday, after she fell down the two steps. It made me panic, and put this in. over the next few years, it became more and more obvious that she had inherited my coordination.

I could hear Charlotte laughing somewhere around me. With my eyes still closed, I leant my head onto the back of the chair.

"I know you're there, Charlotte," I said with a laugh as I peaked one eye open to see Charlotte standing in front of me, a huge grin on her face. I had enough time to open both my eyes before she jumped onto me.

"Hi Mommy!" she screamed, making me cringe a little. This child certainly had pipes on her.

"Hello darling, what are you doing awake already?" I asked her as I ran my hand through the tangled locks of dark brown hair. It was barely six, and Charlotte (lucky for me) didn't usually wake up until about 7.

"It's daddy's birthday..." her voice wavered a bit. I held her closer and rocked a little bit.

"Yes it is sweetie..."

Edward's daughter was now five years old, and the spitting image of him. It was hard to see her every day, but since I lost him, I had tried so hard to be strong. It's what Edward would have wanted for us. He would have wanted both of us to be happy.

In the end, love is stronger than death. It can't stop death from happening, but it will survive through death. No matter how hard death tries, it can't separate people who love each other. It can't take away our memories either. In the end, life, and love, are stronger than death.

_**I dreamed I was missing  
You were so scared  
But no one would listen  
Cause no one else cared**_

_****_

After my dreaming  
I woke with this fear  
What am I leaving  
When I'm done here

_**So if you're asking me  
I want you to know**_

_****_

When my time comes  
Forget the wrong that I've done  
Help me leave behind some  
Reasons to be missed

And don't resent me  
And when you're feeling empty  
Keep me in your memory

_**Leave Out All The Rest**_

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**AN - Again, I would like to thank everyone who has read this story from the beginning, and those that have come in along the way. Amelia (meilzdoggg01), who is no longer writing on here, deserves more credit toward this story than I do. For being there no matter what happened, and no matter what shit happened between us. When I needed someone to cry to, she'd always be there for me. Also, a quick mention of my boyfriend, who is understanding enough to know that when I'm writing, he should probably go away.**

**I will now be focusing on Self Medicating, if anyone is looking for something else that I'm writing.**


	47. Author's Note

**This is just an authors not, not more of the story.**

**In the time it took me to write this story, a lot of things changed. My feelings about characters, where I was going with it, etc. However, I'm damn sick of people reviewing and telling me it's the worst thing they've ever read.**

**This is to all the people who want to review simply to flame me, I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT. Let's be honest here, I don't really care for it. If you want to be constructive on something like spelling, grammar, sentence structure, even the way characters act, fine. But the story line is mine, and some people don't seem to realise that.**

**I am sorry to post this as an A/N, and to everyone who offered something constructive, I really do appreciate your feedback.**

**Sincerely,**

**Emmy1512.**


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